Copyright - HecklerSpray

Tom Cruise & Hitler’s Globe Virtually Embroiled In Strange Legal Action!

March 24th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Hitler had a face that only a mother could love – a blind, drunk mother whose eyeballs were probably in the bottom of a reservoir somewhere filled with cataracts.

As far as our top five list of attractive dictators goes, Hitler’s not even on it. You know who is though? General Mao. Sure he was mean, but he had the jaw-line of a god. Adolf was ugly alright – but don’t tell that to Eva Braun. She used to lick sugar off his greasy cheek bones (Germans think that’s an exfoliator). Imagine how dumb she’d feel once she found out he was ugly.

Hideous as he was, though, Hitler apparently had good taste in globes. And that, through a series of strange events, now has Tom Cruise hovering on the brink of a huge gaping lawsuit.

Watchmen Won’t be Watched by Men, if Fox Get Their Way

March 25th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Everybody seems to be getting in on the comic book-to-movie adaptation thing, with easily one of the most anticipated being that of Watchmen.

While normally this would be greeted with trepidation and a slight amount of fear, the sheer quality of the source material, combined with the fact that the film is supposed to actually be, y’know – good – has people sweating around the groin, awaiting next year’s release.

That is, unless Fox have their way and ban the film from ever coming out.

Oh, we’re not kidding here – that’s what they’re trying to do in the latest of legal battles that shows just how the company is actually forged from Satan’s testicles themselves. There’s evil, then there’s Fox evil.

Harry Potter Case: JK Rowling Goes Out With A Bang

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The copyright lawsuit between JK Rowling and The Harry Potter Lexicon finished yesterday, but don’t think you can go back to not giving a stuff about it again.

As you remember, JK Rowling claims that The Harry Potter Lexicon unfairly and illegally plagiarises the Harry Potter novels, while the makers of The Harry Potter Lexicon just claim that it’s nothing more than a reference book. And now the case has concluded.

However, we won’t know if JK Rowling or The Harry Potter Lexicon author Steven Vander Ark will win yet, because the judge needs to go away and think about it. And he won’t do that until both JK Rowling and Steven Vander Ark have submitted written summations of their arguments to him. We’re just guessing here, but we’d assume that Vander Ark’s summation is going to be identical to Rowling’s, but with a couple of words changed and cheaper-looking artwork.

Gene Simmons Sex Tape: Gene Doesn’t Like You Staring At His Knob

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

If you've seen even a glimpse of the Gene Simmons sex tape, there's a good chance that you threw up so hard that your stomach is now hanging out of your mouth like an awful smelly balloon.

But you're not the only person to be annoyed by the Gene Simmons sex tape. Gene Simmons isn't especially thrilled with it either.

And like you, Gene Simmons is fighting back. But where you fought back by punching a hole in your computer, stapling your eyelids together and trying to destroy the part of your brain that remembers it by ramming a knitting needle up your nose, Gene Simmons has decided to fight back against the Gene Simmons sex tape by doing clever legal stuff. Which probably makes more sense.