Coolio - HecklerSpray

Coolio Is Officially ?Juggalo Cool?

June 18th, 2010 By Ralph Sanders

Did that headline really pique your interest? Christ, if you even understood what it was talking about then you're a crushing idiot and I hate you.

One of those words refers to an aging, balding rapper who is most recently famous for cuddling Terry Christian in the 2009 Celebrity Big Brother house, and the other sounds like something a child would say if he suffered a severe head trauma after spending the day at the circus.

For those of you lucky, lucky people not in the know a ?juggalo? is an idiot (just like you!). Specifically, an idiot who not only listens to but publicly proclaims a liking for the works of the inept group Insane Clown Posse. A duo famous for moronically not knowing how magnets works. Coolio, on tour with the ICP has stepped up the moron factor even further by not only getting a tattoo of said idiots, but getting a misspelt tattoo of said idiots.

Coolio Gets Charged With Essentially Being Full Of Crack

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As a former Big Brother housemate, Coolio had two options open to him – public nudity or a fitness DVD.

But Coolio is his own man. And that’s why he’s chosen a third way – being charged with crack possession and battery after allegedly being caught with quantities of the drug at LAX.

We’re surprised too. Who’d have thought that Coolio – the objectionable bulgy-eyed hasbeen rapper who can’t buy hats without thinking “I know, I’ll chop a bloody great hole in this hat so that my hair sticks out the top like a SODDING PINEAPPLE” – would be involved with crack? For shame.

Celebrity Big Brother: It’s Almost Over! Coolio To Win?

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Now that Michelle Heaton has been evicted, we’re coming to the end of perhaps the most pointless-ever series of Celebrity Big Brother.

And that leaves just one question – will anyone actually notice when it’s finished? Oh, and one slightly less important question – who’s going to win Celebrity Big Brother. Left are Ben, Coolio, LaToya, Terry, Tommy, Ulrika and Verne and, as sad as it makes us, one of them has to win it.

So the rest of the week will be spent evaluating the chances of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates, starting today with Ben Adams, Coolio and LaToya Jackson…

Celebrity Big Brother: Michelle Heaton’s Gone At Last

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

It took a while to get going, but finally it looks like there’s no stopping the Celebrity Big Brother evictions.

On Friday Tina was evicted and Mutya walked out, and then yesterday a surprise eviction took place, with Michelle Heaton getting the chop. So that’s the last of her crying we’ll hear, except for in every single magazine we’ll read for the next 18 months. Joy.

But where does this leave the other housemates? Here’s our Celebrity Big Brother look at Terry Christian, Tommy Sheridan, Ulrika Jonsson and Verne Troyer…

Celebrity Big Brother: Tina Malone & Mutya Thumped Out

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Well this is a turn-up for the books – after a fortnight of waiting for something, anything, to happen, Celebrity Big Brother just got exciting.

On Friday, Tina Malone was evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother house – which, hooray, gave her another chance to bleat on about herself – and she was swiftly followed by Mutya, who suddenly decided that living with Coolio was rubbish and walked out. And either Ulrika or Coolio is being booted out tonight, too. See? Exciting! Sort of.

But what about the remaining Celebrity Big Brother housemates? Let’s find out, with our weekly look at Ben Adams, Coolio, LaToya Jackson and Michelle Heaton…

Celebrity Big Brother: Tommy Sheridan FOR THE WIN!

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Exciting news, remaining Celebrity Big Brother fans – yesterday the housemates got to nominate each other!

So who’ll be the unlucky housemates who’ll face the next Celebrity Big Brother? Well, Coolio. Obviously Coolio. What do we look like, idiots? Of course it’ll be Coolio. And probably one of the others who, we’re sad to admit, have all blended into one disgusting entity, a bit like the floating BBC Zardoz head that freaked everyone a couple of years ago.

Anyway, here’s part two of this week’s look at the Celebrity Big Brother housemates – for Terry Christian, Tina Malone, Tommy Sheridan, Ulrika Jonsson and Verne Troyer…

Celebrity Big Brother: Lucy Pinder Out, Who’s Next?

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The Celebrity Big Brother house has changed drastically in the absence of Lucy Pinder. How? Well, um…

Oh alright, the Celebrity Big Brother house hasn’t changed in the slightest since Lucy Pinder was evicted on Friday, mainly because the poor girl had all the charisma of a pebble. Honestly, we started hitting the side of our TV during Lucy’s eviction interview because we thought her weird droning voice was some sort of manufacturer’s defect.

But anyway, now that Lucy Pinder is gone, how are the other Celebrity Big Brother housemates holding up? Here’s our week two look at Ben Adams, Coolio, LaToya Jackson, Michelle Heaton and Mutya…

Celebrity Big Brother: This Year’s Horrible Bumchops, Part 2

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Today’s Celebrity Big Brother update: nothing happened. Nothing happened and, at this rate, nothing is going to happen. Ever.

But we must have patience. Give it a week and everyone will be screaming hardcore racism into each other’s faces and/or dressing up in leotards and pretending to be cats in a way that will stop us from ever sleeping normally again. That would be good. Good or utterly nightmarish. One or the other.

Anyway, time to conclude our opening look at this year’s Celebrity Big Brother housemates, with expert looks at Tina Malone, Coolio, Michelle Heaton, Terry Christian and Ulrika Jonsson…

Not Desperate For Work At All: Coolio Gets Ghetto In The Kitchen

March 25th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Everyone’s had to do food technology at school. Like music and RE, it was one of the joke subjects that gave everyone a break during their day.

Teachers taught you how to make bread, confusing because we thought bread came from a cow or some other zoo animal as it was always on the shelf at the supermarket. Why bother slaving away for a few hours in the kitchen when you could buy it in a few minutes?

Only since leaving education has hecklerspray felt inspired to widen our culinary skills to more than cheese on toasts, Super Noodles and kebabs. Inspirational chefs like Gordon Ramsay and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall always tell us anyone can cook and this really has been proven. Second rate rapper Coolio now has his own cookery show which just seems to be something from a sketch show.