Cool - HecklerSpray

Malcolm Tucker’s Best Verbal Slapdowns

September 7th, 2012 By Chris Starr

Look very carefully at this man. Don’t be scared – well, do, actually. He’s terrifying. His name is Malcolm Tucker, and he is the funniest sitcom character that has ever walked this earth.

If you’re based in the US, you may have heard of ‘Veep’, the HBO show written by Armando Ianucci. Well know this: that show has a lot borrowed from its older, wiser UK relative ‘The Thick of It’, which is about the machinations of political power in the UK. But one thing that it doesn’t have is a Malcolm Tucker character.

The Awesomeness of Liam Neeson

August 30th, 2012 By Chris Starr

Remember Taken, the movie about the kidnapping of Liam Neeson’s daughter and him struggling to get her back? That was a good movie. Evidently, other people agreed, because somehow they’ve decided to produce a sequel. Taken 2 (or, as I like to call it, ‘Taken Again – Oh Shit How Could I Allow This To Happen Twice To My Family?!?!?!’) will be out shortly in cinemas.

Now, I liked Taken, and in all honesty the Taken 2 trailer looks pretty sweet. So this isn’t going to be one of those posts which sarcastically slags off a Hollywood star. In fact, it’s a celebration of the awesomeness of Liam Neeson. Because he’s one of those actors who you’ve seen in about a million things but don’t realise.

The Tumblr Trawler: Suicidal Kittens Fired Due To Filthy Texts From Someone Called “Bennett”

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

These are dark times for that there internet. As the vultures circle around the rotting carcass of the World Wide Web, we disembark our safe harbour to take a tour round the Cape of Good Tumblr. This is The Tumblr Trawler…

Naturally, we’re assuming that some of you have never even seen a Tumblr, let alone know all about the intricate system of interactions and the thought processes which go into making one. Therefore, we make no apologies if you’ve heard of one of these before or even bought their god damn book. Okay?

The Tumblr Trawler: Replace Ryan Goslings Face With Barack Obama & Gary Busey

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Yes folks, it’s not a festive edition of The Tumblr Trawler and let us tell you why not; Christmas is rubbish. It’s especially rubbish when it comes to memes. Still, here’s this week’s trawl through the briney depths.

5. Replace Face: Want to see what Jason Statham, Danny Trejo & Donald Trump would look like as Russian Generals? Well, we would like to draw your attention to Replace Face.

4. OMG CATS IN SPACE: Is this really, really worth clicking on? We know you like cats and everything but do you really, really want to see a load of cats out in the blackness of space? OF COURSE YOU DO!

The Tumblr Trawler: Moustaches On Pepper Spraying Captcha Cops

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Yes, that’s right folks. While we work on sprucing up Hecklerspray so that your children and your children’s children (seriously though, never have children) can enjoy it, here’s another trawl through the world of Tumblr.

5. Remember the casually pepper-spraying cop from Occupy? Well @badgerarc found a tumblr take on the man himself. Be warned. This is really funny.

4. That man @CheShA sent us this terrifying look into the chins of the rich and the famous. This is Moustair.

3. Our very own @KrisWould has CaptchArt which uses those weird phrases that Captchas throw up to create hilarious (and not so hilarious) pieces of art.

WEBTHUMP! The Return Of The Thump!

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

10. Not content with being a famous actor/musician/turkey-peddler Martin Kemp has taken to inventing emoticons. Is there no end to this man’s talents?!

9. Hallowe’en’s coming so here’s a gentleman teaching you how to TEAR YOUR GOD DAMNED EYE OUT!! Or at least make it look like you did.

8. No internet round up would be complete without something to do with a CAT now, would it?

7. “Let’s fly the kids out to be with their parents in a war zone!” “But that’s a terrible idea!” “It wasn’t me, it was the work experience kid.” Oh…

Creased Or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Suited or Booted?

Folded

R.I.P. Steve Jobs – There’s nothing wrong with being snarky but let’s remember this sort of thing.
US Network Drama – Or rather, why it’s rubbish.
Movie Posters – If they told the truth, this is probably what they’d say.
When Bad Films Happen To Good Actors – There’s not a lot of arguing with Shortlist’s exhaustive list.
Kismot Killer Curry – A curry that hospitalises the people who eat it? Where do we sign up?

Creased

Celebrity Reporters Are Like Political Correspondents – Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh… wait a minute.

Actually Kanye West Says He Likes The Paparazzi, So There

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Airports make people tetchy, which explains Bjork’s Thailand tantrum, Elton John’s Taiwan tantrum and the inexplicable existence of Jeremy Spake.

It also explains Kanye West‘s ridiculous little outburst at the paparazzi in LAX yesterday, where he pulled his hood up over his head, swung his arms about like a girl and got arrested on suspicion of vandalism and battery as a result. But now that the heat of the moment has passed, Kanye West thinks that people might have got the wrong impression of him.

Yes, he might have apparently smashed up a photographer’s camera, but that didn’t stop Kanye West from leaping onto his blog this morning and telling the world that actually “I’m cool with the paparazzi.” But did Kanye West himself really write that? Doubtful – the 21-word post only contained four exclamation marks. Kanye’s average exclamation mark tally for a post that size is roughly seven hundred million billion. We smell a rat.

James Blunt Rapes His Own Mind

March 24th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

The human equivalent of celery, aka eunuch pop star James Blunt, has been pissing and moaning about how hard his life is again.

The You're Beautiful singer says those who run his profession are obsessed with what is "cool", and couldn't care less about creativity.

And you do, Jamesy boy? You care about creativity, do you? Well why not do something about it then? Cut out your larynx and chop off your arms for God’s sake. And, to be honest, the industry can’t be that concerned with what’s "cool", otherwise you would still be getting severe yet justified beatings in the army barracks instead of winging about wise men on a beach with hardons.