Articles tagged with: contestants
You have to love Donald Trump - he has a 'never say die' that holds firm even in the face of something as persuasive as common sense. That's why Donald Trump is wheeling out another season of Celebrity Apprentice. And, boy, are there some names this year. None of them are famous, you understand, but they do have names. Apparently the media were informed about the Celebrity Apprentice contestants back in October, but were sworn to secrecy until now. Presumably this was because they needed three and a half months to Google the contestants to see who any of them actually were.
The fourth season of The Apprentice starts on BBC 1 next week and, although people come to see Alan Sugar be all gruff and hedgehog-faced, they stay for the hopefuls.
And, as is normal for The Apprentice, the full line-up of candidates angling for a £100,00 job being Sir Alan Sugar's monkey-slave have been revealed. But what are this year's gang of Apprentice contestants actually like?
Well, one is a global pricing leader, one is an international car sales strategist, one is... oh, let's cut to the chase - all the Apprentice contestants will be hateful, ambitious, money-fixated, ladder-climbing arseholes who don't have the skills to match their endless tiresome self-promotion; the sort of people who you'd punch to death in a second if they came up to you and started trying to network. That probably covers them all.
You'd have to be an idiot not to love Dancing On Ice - it's just like Strictly Come Dancing except that everyone falls over more and there's a greater chance of someone slashing their throat open with their feet on live TV.
So you'll be pleased to hear that a new series of Dancing On Ice begins on Sunday - and where there's a new season of talenty reality shows there's a list of achingly unfamous personalities queueing up for their appearance fees. This year is no different, and the lucky competitors have just been announced. As usual, no expense has been spared getting the biggest names around, which means from Sunday Dancing On Ice viewers will be able to see the likes of Gareth Gates, Linda Lusardi, Samantha Mumba, one of Hear'Say, someone who used to be on Blue Peter and that girl whose knockers were groped by Prince Harry all skating for survival - and we've got some early Dancing On Ice betting odds, too.
Yes, we said Samantha Mumba. No, we didn't think she was still alive either.
With the writers' strike still wiping out shows on a daily basis, television will soon rely completely on reality shows - and what's more realistic than a giant crazy-haired windbag jabbing his finger at people who are, at best, only semi-famous?
Basically, what we're saying is thank heavens for Celebrity Apprentice - the all-star version of the Donald Trump bellowing vehicle that's going to single-handedly save all of American television from imploding in on itself. Or at least that's what Celebrity Apprentice would do if, you know, it actually had any celebrities in it. The line-up for Celebrity Apprentice has been announced, and the two biggest names involved are Gene Simmons from obsolete rock band Kiss and Lennox Lewis from the RAC direct insurance adverts, with 12 other nonentities added to make up the numbers.
We hear the Celebrity Apprentice producers wanted to up the show's mean level of celebrity, but the old man who was in one episode of Casualty for three seconds with a broken finger in 1989 was too busy to take part.
