Well, we say ‘a’, we should really say ‘the’ fame casualty. Yes folks, it’s Britney Watch day 35,598 – what’s going to happen?! Not much really, but still – the conservatorship that has been in place since February of this year has been extended for another five months.

Meaning what, exactly? Well, that daddy gets to tell little Miss Spears what to do, how to do it and how to spend her money until the end of the year, as well as being in control of, well – everything.

And we bet he’s loving every second of it.

But it’s not all bad for the former pop queen of the universe who is now head-mental, as these orders aren’t set in stone and can be rescinded at any given time. We’re willing to bet the orders stay just as they are, seeing as the person likely to be contesting them the most will be the woman who claimed she was the devil, married Kevin Federline and then got her kids took off her (there’s no point in linking to all those stories again again again, so let’s go wiiiiith… this one).

She just doesn’t have much of a good case, frankly.

At least we can rest easy in hecklerspray towers knowing that James Spears – papa – isn’t too much of a controlling, fame-hungry cretin hell bent on making his kid live out his missed opportunities vicariously. We hope. Good crikey we hope.

Britney should see this in a positive light though – sure, she has no real control over her own life, has a succession of failed relationships, isn’t allowed to look after her own kids and has had a mental breakdown in front of the whole world.

But which 26-year-old wouldn’t want to go home and sit around doing nothing for a year, being looked after by their parents and not having to lift a finger? Which is effectively what has happened here, let’s not split hairs.

In fact, screw all the sympathetic press Britney’s been getting – she’s bloody lucky to be in this situation. We bet she never runs out of bog roll and there’s always food in the cupboards. Plus if someone she doesn’t want to talk to comes round she can just send her dad to tell them to piss off, instead of having to politely put up with them for a couple of hours, as you do when living in your own place.

Plus there’s no worries about bills, TV licensing, dodgy landlords and the like.

Britney Spears really is the luckiest person in the world right now.

Maybe when she gets this legal freedom back – possibly later this year, though likely the beginning of next year – she’ll opt to stay at home, eventually becoming one of those complete embarrassments to pops, living in the basement, eating nothing but pasta and trawling the internets all day long.

Yes: she’ll become a hecklerspray writer. The irony would be too delicious to handle.

Now we're not saying Jamie Spears' parenting skills are anything like our own – but right now he's getting paid to be Brit-Brit's Daddy. In cash. Because the courts demanded it.

Justice is sweet. 

hecklerspray has always loved Britney Spears. All we've ever wanted is to see her safe and sound resting securely until mental stability is a state she's once again accustomed to. We're filing adoption papers so we can steward over her with the court's blessing. And if said stewardship comes with a $2,500 weekly bonus, well, that's not why we're doing it. Now pardon us while we thumb through the new-car section of our phone book.

Jamie Spears, the man who always names all of his pregnant children after himself, is getting paid $2,500 per week to control Britney's life for the next few months. It's a sweet gig for which his resume was submitted vaginally just over two and a half decades ago. People magazine has the details:

"When his temporary co-conservatorship over his daughter Britney Spears was extended until July 31, Jamie Spears was also granted new powers, court documents from yesterday's hearing show. In addition to a $58,800 payment to the conservatorship for attorney fees and other costs, Jamie was given weekly payments of $2,500 and the authority to tap his daughter's funds to lease a car for her security team."

Now if Spears senior starts getting out of limos with his southern lady parts hanging out, and if he shaves his head, and if he suddenly gives birth to Sean and Jayden, we'll know it was the money what did it.

It's always the money what did it.

Read More:

Spears Father Retains Star's Assets – The Press Association

Well Jamie Spears does have control of everything that Britney Spears owns and, thanks to a recent court order, he gets to keep control of it all for another glorious month.

A judge has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney Spears until at least March 10. And it's an undoubtedly good thing that Jamie Spears is still holding the purse strings – not just for Britney, who can continue recovering from her meltdown under the protective care of her family, but also for anyone who wants to see the dream of Jamie Spears' Sticky Cluckin' Fried Poultry Shack become a delicious reality.

For the most part, Jamie Spears is perhaps the most unassuming member of the Spears family. Unlike his wife Lynne Spears, Jamie didn't feel the need to write a book bragging about what an exceptional parent he is despite the world being littered with evidence to the contrary. Unlike his daughter Jamie-Lynn Spears, Jamie didn't get himself knocked up at 16 from a boy he met at church. And unlike Britney Spears, Jamie Spears has never had a picture of his naked mimsy published on the internet.

Add to this a tendency not to take naked pictures of Britney Spears with the intention of selling them or mash drugs into Britney's food, and it's probably a given that Jamie Spears is the best person to act as Britney Spears' conservator while she recovers from that stay in the psychiatric hospital.

With that in mind, it's good to hear that Jamie Spears has been given extended conservatorship over Britney until at least March 10, as E! Online reports:

After a brief hearing Thursday, Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz declined to make any changes to the conservatorship overseeing the "Gimme More" singer's affairs, effectively leaving father Jamie Spears in control at least until the next hearing, slated for Mar. 10. The elder Spears also sought—and was granted—permission to take over more aspects of Britney's finances, including her taxes. Also present in the courtroom was Ivan Taback, an attorney for Britney's 30-year-old brother, Bryan. Together they were named temporary cotrustees of Britney's SJB Trust, which is used to pay for her daily expenses and medical bills.

In court, it was claimed that Britney Spears still needed to undergo a psychiatric evaluation by the court, to assess whether or not she'll be allowed to take back control of her estate. If that hasn't been carried out by next month, then Jamie Spears' conservatorship may be extended further still.

And, as you'll have noticed, with every renewal of conservatorship Jamie Spears is granted a little more power. First he was given control of her estate, then he was given the go-ahead to fire Britney's manager and now he gets to take care of Britney's taxes as well. What'll happen if Jamie Spears is given further privileges next month? According to our calculations, it'll be something like this…

That's right, Jamie Spears will end up with a fancy candlestick on his head. Or something.

Read more:

Britney's Dad to Keep Pulling Strings – E! Online