Lassie, Babe, Old Yeller – not just films, but enduring movie classics. But why do we love them so?

It’s simple. It’s because animals are sexy. It’s not an exaggeration that all of us – even you, ladies – have had to stifle an erection during Free Willy or that Clint Eastwood film with the sexy monkey in it. There’s no point trying to deny it – it’s simple human nature. Animals are just sexy. They just are.

But which are the ten sexiest animals to have ever appeared in a movie? That’s harder to pinpoint. After a lot of office debate, we think we’ve finally whittled it down. Sure, there may be some movie animals not included in this list that you find sexually irresistible. Be sure to let us know the ones we’ve missed. Enjoy…

10 - King Kong from King Kong

We’ve got something big and hard for you to climb up, Mr Kong.

9 – Basil from Basil The Great Mouse Detective

You know what mystery we’d like you to solve, Basil? The mystery of what this hard thing in our pocket is.

8 – Black Beauty from Black Beauty

Now there’s one beauty we’d like to feed sugarlumps to. And by ‘sugarlumps’ we mean ‘Rohypnol’ so we can bone it in its sleep. Or we mean ‘our testicles’. To be honest, we haven’t really thought it through very well.

7 - Ed from Ed

A monkey that shares a bed with Matt LeBlanc. We bet he’s seen some things worth talking about. Like Matt LeBlanc’s genitals, possibly.

6 – Digby from Digby The Biggest Dog In The World

You know what they say about big dogs, don’t you? They’ve got giant anuses, that’s what.

5 - The moose from Salt Water Moose

We know what we’d like to do with those antlers! Draw some boobs on them or something. Sexy!

4 – Jaws from Jaws

Imagine the damage those teeth could do, eh lads? To your penis. While it was fellating you. Eh, lads?

3 – Flipper from Flipper

Blah blah blah, something about a blowhole.

2 - The evil monkeys from Congo

We read a survey once that said that the most common sexual fantasy in humans is to take part in an orgy with several vicious elderly megalomaniac temple-guarding gorillas. And who’d disagree with that? Meow!

1 – Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Roger Rabbit. Not Jessica Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. That’s important to remember, because Jessica Rabbit is technically human. Imagine having sex with a human. Ugh, gross!

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Sad news – author Michael Crichton has died after a battle with cancer, it has been announced. He was 66.

While some will say that Michael Crichton’s legacy will be Jurassic Park, the best-selling novel that was turned into movie phenomenon; or ER, the TV series he created from his own experiences as a doctor; or even Westworld, the movie he directed that was exactly the same as Jurassic Park except with a bald-headed robot cowboy instead of dinosaurs, they are respectfully wrong.

For us, Michael Crichton will be remembered for one thing and one thing only – this video. It’s the climax to the movie adaptation of his novel Congo. Evil gorillas have never been brutally dismembered by a laser gun inside a volcano so gracefully. Michael Crichton, you will be missed.

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

If hecklerspray ever had to fight a crocodile, we’d start out by giving it our famous one-two punch, follow up with our world renowned triple-round-house kick, and then we’d force its tail into its own mouth making it chew until it was nothing more than a little scaly donut.

Don’t try that at home, kids. We’ve had training.

If we ever had to fight Mahamba, on the other hand, we’d probably do all the same things except with construction cranes instead of our hands. That’s because Mahamba is reported to be a 50′ long croc. It’s been sighted in the Congo, and some say it’s a remnant from a very ancient age.

We have a strange quote for you today – strange because we can only read it ourselves through Google’s Translator tool. It gives the account of a man who encountered Mahamba in the wilds of the Congo. He’d gone to hunt ducks, but saw this alligator/crocodile thing he estimated to be 15 metres long.

He only had a wussy gun with him as he came to hunt tiny little ducks, but he had a better weapon in his vehicle. He sent a kid to get his bigger gun. The is where Google translator kicks in. The original text is in German, and is found on Kryptozoologie-online.de:

“After the boy after a long time came, [the hunter] decided to brave because of the apathy of the crocodile which it had apparently not noticed, a little closer in his direction to crawl. Unfortunately, [the croc was] alerted by the ducks, which immediately aufflogen him, given his scant stock to a rapid, led untargeted shot. It was like it had come, because the giant crocodile-like flight left just before him like the ducks down the sand bank into safe water and disappeared into the murky waters.”

Probably the most coherent thing ever to appear on this website, right? Did you catch the part where the great white hunter was actually crawling towards this thing? Yeah, we did too. The story goes on:

“Hardly two or three days later ran the adventurers on a sand bank. After just one meter of scarce water under the keel of the boat was, waggled it unusually fierce and would not be the low water level would have assumed he almost rammed a river horse to have. Suddenly ran an approximately twelve meter-long crocodile, apparently uncomfortable by his boat taken quickly into deeper water. The animal had them after the Belgians later thought, already heard and escaped going to be in the direction in which her boat on the sandbank auflief. At the collision the animal had a speed of 64 Kmh added.”

As we understand it, a few days later the same crew got beached on a sand bar. One of these huge alligators freaked, shook their boat a bit, and then swam off. It’s kind of a tough read. Now for some plain English quotations. This is off of the website AmericanMonsters.com:

“Probably hailing from the Lake Likouala swamp region, this animal may, in fact, be a completely new species of heretofore undiscovered large, central African crocodile. That having been said, rumors of this animal’s prehistoric origins still persist, convincing some investigators that the animal might be a freshwater variety of the presumed extinct, aquatic reptile known as mosasaurs.”

Other than what we’ve already told you, there doesn’t seem to be a lot known about the Mahamba – by the western world, anyway. The natives could probably expound on the subject quite a bit.

When they get more internet savvy, we’ll update you all.