Janet Jackson’s Japanese Fans Too Poor To See Her Wardrobe Malfunctioning Tour Despite our best attempts to distance ourselves from the real world in the hope that one day Jessica Rabbit will leap out of our TV and have rampant sex with us, we have to be realistic. This is because no-one has developed a TV that can do such a thing, and also because there is some sort of financial crisis going on. Yup, everything costs more and everyone is feeling the pain. Even the simple pleasures of life are being taken away. No more so then in Japan where Janet Jackson, the tit-bearing member of the Jackson circus, has had to cancel a few shows.

Amy Winehouse Cancels Everything Forever, Sort Of

By all accounts, going to one of Amy Winehouse's recent concerts has been a bit like funding a pikey's drug addiction by paying to watch her stare off into the middle distance and make a noise like a chicken choking on a shoelace.

However, it's not something you'll be able to again this year - Amy Winehouse has cancelled everything for the rest of the year; something she apparently decided two hours before she was set to play a show in Bournemouth last night. Hopefully Amy Winehouse cancelled the tour to focus on getting healthier and improving her state of mind rather than, say, sitting around in her house taking every drug ever invented. But let's not hope that Amy Winehouse disappears completely for the rest of the year, otherwise hecklerspray might spend December as a sort of barren wasteland, kept alive only by the possibility that Heather Mills might say "paedophile" in a funny high-pitched voice on GMTV again.