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Concert

Hecklergigs: Take That, O2

by hecklerspray staff

Like most heterosexual males, seeing Take That in concert is not at the top of this writer’s life experiences, but last week that exactly thing happened when a girlfriend situation forced us to attend their latest concert on their Beautiful World tour.

We found ourselves surrounded by thousands of women, baying for the blood of the objects of their desires. The gig began with support coming from an unnamed woman, whose talent with a saxophone and vocals proved far superior than the other supporting act; Sophie Ellis Bextor (yes, she is still trying to give this singing lark a go) who was living off past glories for duration of her set, the only song garnering any kind of crowd reaction was the 2000 summer hit Groovejet, a collaboration with that household name DJ Spiller.

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Boozed-Up Sex Tape Star Jessica Sierra Banned From Army Gig

by Stuart Heritage

There are two things that soldiers enjoy – one is shooting foreigners and the other is watching hungover, coked-out amateur porn stars who used to be on a reality TV show slur out one halfhearted Bonnie Tyler cover version after another.

But that’s not going to happen, because an American charity has decided that it doesn’t want our new favourite good girl gone bad (or bad girl gone worse? Crap girl gone terrible?) Jessica Sierra to perform at a Washington Christmas tribute concert for US troops on Friday, thanks to her currently being held in custody for violating her parole in an embarrassingly drunk, vomit-stained, sexually-propositioning way, and also because of the imminent internet release of the grubby-looking Jessica Sierra sex tape.

But, undeterred, Jessica Sierra has vowed to help the army out in any way she can despite the concert snub, which is why this week she’ll be offering sad-faced handjobs to crooked prison guards in return for donations to the war effort. Possibly.

There are two things that soldiers enjoy - one is shooting foreigners and the other is watching hungover, coked-out amateur porn stars who used to be on a reality TV show slur out one halfhearted Bonnie Tyler cover version after another. But that's not going to happen, because an American charity has decided that it doesn't want our new favourite good girl gone bad (or bad girl gone worse? Crap girl gone terrible?) Jessica Sierra to perform at a Washington Christmas tribute concert for US troops on Friday, thanks to her currently being held in custody for violating her parole in an embarrassingly drunk, vomit-stained, sexually-propositioning way, and also because of the imminent internet release of the grubby-looking Jessica Sierra sex tape. But, undeterred, Jessica Sierra has vowed to help the army out in any way she can despite the concert snub, which is why this week she'll be offering sad-faced handjobs to crooked prison guards in return for donations to the war effort. Possibly.
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Akon Charged With Tossing That Boy Off

by Stuart Heritage

Talk about political correctness gone mad – what sort of a world do we live in where you can’t even pick up a 15-year-old boy during a concert and angrily fling him on top of a girl’s head, like Akon did not so long ago?

Poor old squeaky-voiced R&B star Akon is in trouble over the now-classic YouTube incident involving an angry Akon, a terrified 15-year-old boy, a girl with a bump on her head and all three of Newton’s laws of motion. Basically Akon picked up a boy during a concert in June, threw him into the crowd, hit a girl on the head with him and is now being charged with endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment for it. As a result, Akon may be forced to cut back on the stage theatrics and let his songs speak for themselves in the future – something that could destroy his career forever.

Talk about political correctness gone mad - what sort of a world do we live in where you can't even pick up a 15-year-old boy during a concert and angrily fling him on top of a girl's head, like Akon did not so long ago? Poor old squeaky-voiced R&B star Akon is in trouble over the now-classic YouTube incident involving an angry Akon, a terrified 15-year-old boy, a girl with a bump on her head and all three of Newton's laws of motion. Basically Akon picked up a boy during a concert in June, threw him into the crowd, hit a girl on the head with him and is now being charged with endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment for it. As a result, Akon may be forced to cut back on the stage theatrics and let his songs speak for themselves in the future - something that could destroy his career forever.
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Holy Crap, Jennifer Lopez Is Pregnant!?

by Stuart Heritage

Well, you could literally knock us down with a feather at the moment because Jennifer Lopez – the very obviously pregnant pop star with a fashion designer who last week confirmed her pregnancy – has announced that she’s pregnant.

Sorry, we’re still trying to get over this shocking Jennifer Lopez pregnancy bombshell because it’s genuinely come right out of the blue. All we’ve had to go on is Jennifer Lopez persistently assuming coyness every time someone mentions motherhood or babies in front of her, performing tours around the world with a belly that’s been steadily growing in size because of the baby growing inside it and clearly being undeniably pregnant. And now it turns out that Jennifer Lopez is pregnant? That’s literally the most surprising thing we’ve experienced all day, with the exception of every single thing we’ve seen, heard, thought or smelled, obviously.

Well, you could literally knock us down with a feather at the moment because Jennifer Lopez - the very obviously pregnant pop star with a fashion designer who last week confirmed her pregnancy - has announced that she's pregnant. Sorry, we're still trying to get over this shocking Jennifer Lopez pregnancy bombshell because it's genuinely come right out of the blue. All we've had to go on is Jennifer Lopez persistently assuming coyness every time someone mentions motherhood or babies in front of her, performing tours around the world with a belly that's been steadily growing in size because of the baby growing inside it and clearly being undeniably pregnant. And now it turns out that Jennifer Lopez is pregnant? That's literally the most surprising thing we've experienced all day, with the exception of every single thing we've seen, heard, thought or smelled, obviously.
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Meat Loaf Alarmingly Stressed Out By Newcastle

by Stuart Heritage

Meat Loaf has been through a lot in his time – injury, drug addiction, attempted suicide, crooked manager, lawsuits, disease, bankruptcy – but in the end it looks as if it’s Newcastle that’s done Meat Loaf in.

It’s been reported that Meat Loaf has quit music forever, and this is something he apparently decided mid-show in Newcastle on Wednesday night. Mid-song, in fact – as the opening bars to Paradise By The Dashboard Light kicked in, Meat Loaf suddenly decided that he couldn’t be bothered to sing for a living any more and trudged offstage. Sure, Meat Loaf’s apparent breakdown might sound a little worrying, but if he really has quit music then maybe he can start to concentrate on acting again – and who doesn’t want to see more films about man-titted Meat Loaf punching people in a cellar?

Meat Loaf has been through a lot in his time - injury, drug addiction, attempted suicide, crooked manager, lawsuits, disease, bankruptcy - but in the end it looks as if it's Newcastle that's done Meat Loaf in. It's been reported that Meat Loaf has quit music forever, and this is something he apparently decided mid-show in Newcastle on Wednesday night. Mid-song, in fact - as the opening bars to Paradise By The Dashboard Light kicked in, Meat Loaf suddenly decided that he couldn't be bothered to sing for a living any more and trudged offstage. Sure, Meat Loaf's apparent breakdown might sound a little worrying, but if he really has quit music then maybe he can start to concentrate on acting again - and who doesn't want to see more films about man-titted Meat Loaf punching people in a cellar?
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