Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Just when you think Justin Bieber can’t get more disgusting, he manages to make you retch up your breakfast once again.? Bieber has gone from a slow roll down the hill of WTF, to a full blown avalanche, in a very short period of time.?
Maybe it’s the steroids, maybe it’s finally breaking up with the way too good for him Selena Gomez, maybe it’s his friends.? There doesn’t seem to be one set thing to put the blame on, but you can’t help but now root for his total destruction.
I
n a world that still continues to not make any sense, R Kelly still has fans.? Fans that shelled out big bucks to see him perform.? Fans that are super pissed off because they not only waited hours for Kelly to go on stage, but when he finally did they realized it wasn’t even the real R Kelly.
Impersonators for big stars make sense.? The Britneys, the Michaels, the Celines.? But for the love of the age of consent, who the hell wants to be an R Kelly impersonator?? “Why yes, I just love dressing up and pretending to be a has-been musician who loves golden showers and girls getting ready for their junior prom!”
Oh Justin Beiber.? What are we going to do with you, you big ol hot mess?? You used to be a sweet little Canuck, playing on your guitar with your lesbian hair and face, sounding like a chipmunk while you sang about girls and maple syrup.? Now you’re a roid raging, pot obsessed douchebag who is allergic to shirts and respect.?
And just when we think there is not much lower you could go, a hooker from Panama City comes forward and says that she let you rock her world for half a grand and a few hits off your bong.
Cue vomit.
Did you guys know that Madonna is like, so cool? Look at this picture up here? She’s decorating her back with a message of support for Barack Obama, and, like, you know, she ironically said that Barack Obama is a Muslim. The problem is her funny joke wasn’t so funny, because she’s not a comedian, and people are stupid. Some people thought that was serious.
She then had to apologise afterwards. “I was being ironic on stage,” she said. “Yes, I know Obama is not a Muslim ? though I know that plenty of people in this country think he is. And what if he were?” (Quick tip: if you have to point out your irony afterwards, you’re not doing it right. It’d be like me making a joke, you not getting it, then me painstakingly running you through why the joke is funny after.)
You know the phrase “When in Rome”? It works in other places too. When in London, eat fish and chips and harass a beefeater! When in Paris, shrug your shoulders and quaff wine! When in Amsterdam, smoke a shitton of weed!
Lady Gaga certainly adheres to that rule, judging by the way she stopped her concert in Amsterdam on Wednesday to light up a spliff helpfully handed to her from the crowd.
If you were asked to sum up the Jackson family, how would you do it? Some people might call them the greatest collection of siblings who ever entered a recording studio. Others might comment on how inferior Janet and LaToya were compared to Tito, Jermaine and Randy.
Most people would say that the entire family were complete fruit loops.
However, we?d like to comment on how the Jackson family manage to pick the worst possible time for any new release. A brand new greatest hits album from Michael followed weeks after heart went all funny and of course, there was the tribute concert that was accidentally scheduled at the same time as the Dr. Conrad Murray trial. Some would say this was done for financial gain.
So, this week marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind LP. As such, it’s pretty much being regarded as grunge’s 20th birthday too, although, most of you will regard the start of the scene to be a much earlier date.
We even wrote about it, not that you cared. See? We can still bitch and whine like a first-rate grunge kid. YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND US!
Anyway, to celebrate this occasion, there’ll be a special airing of the full Paramount Theatre show in Seattle filmed back in 1991. You can watch it streamed live today!
A fresh, rejuvenated, rehabilitated Amy Winehouse has made the difficult decision to cancel her entire European tour after the entire internet has spent the week laughing at her inability to perform a song that she wrote all by herself during a recent gig in?Belgrade.
Confirmation came on Sunday that Ms?Winehouse had cancelled performances in Istanbul and Athens. The singer had been due to perform right across Southern Europe as part of her triumphant, if understated, comeback tour.
The decision to can the remaining shows came after the thinking person’s Peter Doherty was booed at the Belgrade concert for slurring her words and appearing incoherent and… well… a little bit pissed throughout the performance.
Former husband 0f Courtney Cox and alleged actor David?Arquette was thrown out of a Prince concert recently for committing the heinous crime of taking photos of ‘The Artist’ in his true, lizard form.
The singer has a notorious ‘no photography’ rule at his shows designed to protect him from the damage his reputation could take if the wider public was to see him in his true form.
However, Arquette managed to get his silly self into an altercation with security at the singer’s ‘Welcome 2 America’ shows at the Los Angeles Forum when a young boy flouted the singer’s no photography rule. The real pain of Arquette’s story is that this ‘altercation’ came straight after Prince had told the crowd they were allowed to take pictures.
There are some songs that just shouldn?t be covered. A lot of people would agree that Nirvana?s Smells Like Teen Spirit was one of those.
But not Miley Cyrus.
Miley decided that she was the perfect person to belt out a borderline sacrilegious version of the Nirvana classic, on her latest tour.
