Articles tagged with: Concert
VIDEO: Joaquin Phoenix’s Rap Show Doesn’t Disappoint Anyone
Joaquin Phoenix, we knew you wouldn't let us down. Some may have dismissed your new rap career as a joke, but not us. We know exactly what you're capable of, and your debut show on Friday night in Las Vegas did us proud. But then again, Joaquin Phoenix rapping onstage after a career tutorial by Diddy couldn't really be anything other than spectacular. And the result - a bearded man shouting incomprehensible rubbish like a homeless tramp screaming at his own reflection and then falling off the stage - was the dictionary definition of spectacular. Joaquin Phoenix, you're our hero. Video? Yes, there's video.
Joaquin Phoenix, we knew you wouldn't let us down. Some may have dismissed your new rap career as a joke, but not us. We know exactly what you're capable of, and your debut show on Friday night in Las Vegas did us proud. But then again, Joaquin Phoenix rapping onstage after a career tutorial by Diddy couldn't really be anything other than spectacular. And the result - a bearded man shouting incomprehensible rubbish like a homeless tramp screaming at his own reflection and then falling off the stage - was the dictionary definition of spectacular. Joaquin Phoenix, you're our hero. Video? Yes, there's video.
New Kids On The Block, On A Boat, Full Of The Elderly
Have you ever dreamed of having New Kids On The Block perform at your child's birthday party? You have? Well hold that thought for a couple of months. Because, at the rate they're going, New Kids On The Block would probably do it for pennies before too long. And that's because New Kids On The Block have signed up for a concert on a cruise ship. Sure, they'll be surrounded by shuffling old pensioners who stink of piss and can't remember their own names - but we're sure that the other passengers will get used to New Kids On The Block eventually.
Have you ever dreamed of having New Kids On The Block perform at your child's birthday party? You have? Well hold that thought for a couple of months. Because, at the rate they're going, New Kids On The Block would probably do it for pennies before too long. And that's because New Kids On The Block have signed up for a concert on a cruise ship. Sure, they'll be surrounded by shuffling old pensioners who stink of piss and can't remember their own names - but we're sure that the other passengers will get used to New Kids On The Block eventually.
Them Jonas Brothers Sure Do Love Barack Obama
Next week is undoubtedly going to be truly historic - The Jonas Brothers are playing a free concert! Squeeeeee! We can't breathe! Our favourite girl-haired, virgin popstars playing a concert? For free? This is totally like the best news ever! We should get there early - we want Kevin Jonas to look us right in the eye when we scream "ARRRGH! KEVINJONASILOVEYOU! ARRRGH!" at him during Lovebug! Apparently The Jonas Brothers are playing their free concert to mark the inauguration of a man called Barack Obama, who's like the new mayor or the world or something. But mainly - THE JONAS BROTHERS! OMG!!!
Next week is undoubtedly going to be truly historic - The Jonas Brothers are playing a free concert! Squeeeeee! We can't breathe! Our favourite girl-haired, virgin popstars playing a concert? For free? This is totally like the best news ever! We should get there early - we want Kevin Jonas to look us right in the eye when we scream "ARRRGH! KEVINJONASILOVEYOU! ARRRGH!" at him during Lovebug! Apparently The Jonas Brothers are playing their free concert to mark the inauguration of a man called Barack Obama, who's like the new mayor or the world or something. But mainly - THE JONAS BROTHERS! OMG!!!
Madonna Possibly Looks In A-Rod’s General Direction! Disgusting!
Madonna has never been shy about displaying her love, and by 'love' we obviously mean 'grotty old lady vagina'. But her actual love? That's a different story. Madonna knows that love is a tender and private thing, and therefore always keeps it to herself like a coy little schoolgirl. A schoolgirl who's been dipped into an acid bath and then sandblasted, obviously, but a schoolgirl nonetheless. This coyness was on full show last night, when Madonna sat her rumoured new boyfriend Alex Rodriguez in the front row of her concert in Miami and kept making funny little glances towards him during some of her more sentimental songs. Oh, and she did something else to him as well - something mind-scarringly ghastly. Not an exaggeration.
Madonna has never been shy about displaying her love, and by 'love' we obviously mean 'grotty old lady vagina'. But her actual love? That's a different story. Madonna knows that love is a tender and private thing, and therefore always keeps it to herself like a coy little schoolgirl. A schoolgirl who's been dipped into an acid bath and then sandblasted, obviously, but a schoolgirl nonetheless. This coyness was on full show last night, when Madonna sat her rumoured new boyfriend Alex Rodriguez in the front row of her concert in Miami and kept making funny little glances towards him during some of her more sentimental songs. Oh, and she did something else to him as well - something mind-scarringly ghastly. Not an exaggeration.
Britney Spears & Justin Timberlake Avoid Each Other Like Mental
Last night, just about the biggest thing in the world happened - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake reunited for Madonna. It. Was. Incredible. In front a crowd of thousands at Madonna's Dodger Stadium concert, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake not only performed onstage together but - after three seconds in each other's company - fell hopelessly in love again, instantly curing Britney of all her mental problems in the process. Or Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake both avoided each other as much as humanly possible backstage, crawled onstage separately for one brief duet with Madonna each and then hightailed out of the stadium the moment they were done so they wouldn't have to spend a second longer in the vicinity of each other than they had to. Still, anything that takes people's minds off Madonna's grotty undercrackers, eh?
Last night, just about the biggest thing in the world happened - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake reunited for Madonna. It. Was. Incredible. In front a crowd of thousands at Madonna's Dodger Stadium concert, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake not only performed onstage together but - after three seconds in each other's company - fell hopelessly in love again, instantly curing Britney of all her mental problems in the process. Or Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake both avoided each other as much as humanly possible backstage, crawled onstage separately for one brief duet with Madonna each and then hightailed out of the stadium the moment they were done so they wouldn't have to spend a second longer in the vicinity of each other than they had to. Still, anything that takes people's minds off Madonna's grotty undercrackers, eh?
Madonna/ Britney/ Timberlake Queasy Threeway – Tonight
If you're a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna's concert in Los Angeles tonight. Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history - don't forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears' mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears. If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one - if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn't just stop at Justin Timberlake - she'd hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we're talking.
If you're a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna's concert in Los Angeles tonight. Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history - don't forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears' mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears. If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one - if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn't just stop at Justin Timberlake - she'd hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we're talking.
Madonna Tells Sarah Palin To Either Move Or Get A Gap-Toothed Beat Down
At a mandatory hecklerspray retreat we all had to attend, have fun at or be fired, everybody woke up to a horrible fright. It was Stu Heritage and Chris Laverty screaming in unison because they simultaneously dreamt that Madonna's wrinkled old lady hands were wrapping around their throats with the full intent of murder. Needless to say the lights stayed on the rest of the night, and that Holiday song was taken off of subliminal repeat. Incidentally, their joined screams were rather beautiful together - would anybody have guessed that Stu is a tenor? Well he really is. Sarah Palin may know what it's like to lie awake nights with the constant fear of Madonna hobbling into her room like an old lady and whacking her with a cane until her collarbone breaks or something - because Madge has continued her onstage assault of her, recently announcing she's going to kick the Governor's 'ass.'
At a mandatory hecklerspray retreat we all had to attend, have fun at or be fired, everybody woke up to a horrible fright. It was Stu Heritage and Chris Laverty screaming in unison because they simultaneously dreamt that Madonna's wrinkled old lady hands were wrapping around their throats with the full intent of murder. Needless to say the lights stayed on the rest of the night, and that Holiday song was taken off of subliminal repeat. Incidentally, their joined screams were rather beautiful together - would anybody have guessed that Stu is a tenor? Well he really is. Sarah Palin may know what it's like to lie awake nights with the constant fear of Madonna hobbling into her room like an old lady and whacking her with a cane until her collarbone breaks or something - because Madge has continued her onstage assault of her, recently announcing she's going to kick the Governor's 'ass.'
Hello Hello, Turns Out Janet Jackson’s Poorly With Vertigo
For a few weeks the corner of the world that still cares about Janet Jackson has been asking one question - what's wrong with the woman? Janet Jackson has been cancelling swathes of concerts on her current Rock Witchu tour because of a mystery illness that suddenly took hold five minutes before a show in Canada. The fact alone that nobody would reveal the illness was a cause for consternation - but now we know. Janet Jackson has been suffering from migraine-associated vertigo. We're sure that Janet Jackson's fans are all completely sympathetic to this diagnosis - don't forget that symptoms of vertigo include nausea, vomiting and difficulty standing - all of which will be familiar to anyone who witnessed Janet Jackson pop a nork out during the Super Bowl halftime show of 2004.
For a few weeks the corner of the world that still cares about Janet Jackson has been asking one question - what's wrong with the woman? Janet Jackson has been cancelling swathes of concerts on her current Rock Witchu tour because of a mystery illness that suddenly took hold five minutes before a show in Canada. The fact alone that nobody would reveal the illness was a cause for consternation - but now we know. Janet Jackson has been suffering from migraine-associated vertigo. We're sure that Janet Jackson's fans are all completely sympathetic to this diagnosis - don't forget that symptoms of vertigo include nausea, vomiting and difficulty standing - all of which will be familiar to anyone who witnessed Janet Jackson pop a nork out during the Super Bowl halftime show of 2004.
