With his wrinkled, wizened face and ballbag neck, Neil Young is not a young man. In fact, he’s incredibly old. He’s always sung like he’s Methuselah, making Bob Dylan sound like a fresh-faced operatic toddler.
Of course, the older you get, the more you find things bugging you. Automated phone systems, self-service tills and absolutely everything young people do find a way into your bile, erupting out in a volley of complaint.
So what’s up with Neil Young now? Modern music, that’s what. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like it in the same way his granddad would’ve hated his peers haircuts and music.
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Poor celebrities. They need the press to promote their wares and, of course, the best way to keep the hacks interested is to give them a sense of allowing them into their inner-sanctum. The writer gets to live vicariously through the star and a notion of exclusivity, while the celebrity gets to stay in the public eye, as a visual aid that they’ve got things you can buy of theirs.
However, at some point in a sleb’s career, they must become irritated by the press intrusion. It appears that they’re under the impression that they can play ball for a while, and then walk away when it suits them, only to return when they actually have a product to push.
Sadly, ‘celebrity’ is not on a Pay As You Go contract. Your short shelf life is in symbiosis with the will of hacks to shift units of newspapers and magazines, and so, when you’ve tired of the press writing about you, all that remains for a celebrity is to either give up on fame, or go talk to the very people who pose the problem of your life being no longer yours. And here’s Selena Gomez…
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Since Frankie Boyle left the BBC, he’s been sulking. He’s decided that the BBC squashed his right to free speech and, of course, freedom of speech essentially means making the most offensive jokes you can think of. A bit like a teenager chuckling over the word ‘rape’.
This has left Boyle in the unique position of being a Post Modern Jim Davidson. He doesn’t mean it maaaaan, it’s all in the name of his art, okay? His show, Tramadol Nights, has seen Muslim women being hung, jokes about mental illnesses and one that has got him in hot water with Katie Price.
Boyle made a joke about Price’s disabled son and now Ofcom will be going after him, probably leaving Boyle to see himself as some lone gunman in the West, staunchly defending something on behalf of comedy itself. Read More >>>
According to The Mail on Sunday, Basil Brush, the anthropomorphic fox and Prince Philip of CBBC, is being investigated by police after being accused of racially abusing a group of gypsies on his TV show.
The episode in question, which first aired six years ago, contains a scene in which a gypsy attempts to sell Basil some clothes pegs and heather. He then goes on to tell a story about another gypsy who stole his wallet. When the episode was repeated last month on the CBBC channel a band of gypsies decided they would not stand for this defamation of their good name and contacted the Northamptonshire constabulary to lodge a complaint against the ginger hand puppet.
Granted, hecklerspray doesn’t know very many gypsies, but we’ve seen Snatch at least three and one half times so we think it’s pretty safe to say we’re somewhat of an authority on this issue. It’s obviously twaddle. Gypsies don’t have TV, idiots! They live in sweaty caravans and talk in fake, unintelligible Irish accents. If they saw a talking fox turn up on one of what they call “magic-boxes” they would probably worship it and offer it their young for sacrifice, not sue it for racial abuse.
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According to The Mail on Sunday, Basil Brush, the anthropomorphic fox and Prince Philip of CBBC, is being investigated by police after being accused of racially abusing a group of gypsies on his TV show.
The episode in question, which first aired six years ago, contains a scene in which a gypsy attempts to sell Basil some clothes pegs and heather. He then goes on to tell a story about another gypsy who stole his wallet. When the episode was repeated last month on the CBBC channel a band of gypsies decided they would not stand for this defamation of their good name and contacted the Northamptonshire constabulary to lodge a complaint against the ginger hand puppet.
Granted, hecklerspray doesn’t know very many gypsies, but we’ve seen Snatch at least three and one half times so we think it’s pretty safe to say we’re somewhat of an authority on this issue. It’s obviously twaddle. Gypsies don’t have TV, idiots! They live in sweaty caravans and talk in fake, unintelligible Irish accents. If they saw a talking fox turn up on one of what they call “magic-boxes†they would probably worship it and offer it their young for sacrifice, not sue it for racial abuse.
