And get this – he’s not enjoying it. Apparently the prison service didn’t get Raffaello Follieri’s memo about the goose-feather pillows, double-quilted toilet roll or how he wanted a cell with a veranda overlooking the lake and, well, he’s thrown a bit of a strop about it.

According to reports, Raffaello Follieri has already requested to move jails because the one he’s in is unsanitary and he’s got blood in his urine. We don’t know exactly how Raffaello got blood in his urine, but since he’s sharing a windowless dormitory with 120 criminals and he looks exactly like the gruesome lovechild of Piers Morgan and Zach Braff, we’d probably guess that he’s been beaten up a bit.

Fate’s a bugger, isn’t it? One minute you’re living the high life, mixing with world leaders and filmstars on expensive yachts and then going home to have it away with one of the world’s most beautiful women, and the next you’re trapped in an airless room the size of a shoebox with dozens of angry criminals all sharing the same rat-infested shower room.

That’s the fate that Anne Hathaway’s ex-boyfriend and Vatican-based property scammer extraordinaire Raffaello Follieri has found himself in. Since he was arrested for conning rafts of gullible strangers out of millions of dollars back in June, Raffaello Follieri’s life has been plunged into a downwards spiral that’s involved being dumped by Anne Hathaway, being kept in remand because of his unusually high flight risk and, most recently, being sentenced to four and a half years in jail.

And all through this, Raffaello Follieri has taken all the blows like a man. Unfortunately he’s been taking them like an Italian man, which means that he’s done nothing but bitch about it all like a whiny little princess. He’s already said that he only started conning people so that Anne Hathaway would love him, and now he’s moved onto the state of his accommodation.

Raffaello Follieri’s lawyer has requested that her client be moved into a slightly more luxurious facility because the interim dormitory he’s being housed in is so dirty that it’s made him a little bit poorly. E! Online reports:

“He says that he cannot eat because the food appears to be spoiled and that the toilet and shower facilities are unspeakably unsanitary,” attorney Flora Edwards wrote in a letter released Wednesday to Reuters. Follieri is running a fever and has blood in his urine, the letter continued. “There is excrement in the shower and rats are roaming freely in the area. He says the stench is intolerable and his health is deteriorating.”

Spoiled food? Stinking, unsanitary toilets? Shit-covered, rat-infested showers? We don’t know where exactly Raffaello Follieri is being held, but we’ve got a hunch it might be Benidorm.

Anyway, we hope that Raffaello Follieri gets his wish and is moved to a slightly nicer detention centre as quickly as possible. After all, he’s in jail to be punished for a crime he committed, and he’s never going to learn how to regret his actions if he’s too busy squealing that his toilet smells like bums, is he?

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