Long have we wondered what Michael Jackson’s next career move would be.

Will he make another album? Will he start a charity to help the big-nosed poor? Will he be another ride at Disney Land? Perhaps one where he puts roller-skates on his hands and feet and rolls about the room in a crab-walk type style with a saddle on his belly, and your height has to be below Mickey’s hand to climb on board?

Well we can tell you – he’s gonna be a Vegas attraction. It’s been rumored before, but this time it’s different. This time he could be working directly for the mortgage company that just bought the $23 million dollar loan for his Neverland Ranch.

It’s perfect timing too, really, since Celine Dion just left Vegas and they are the exact same proportions, he could just use her costumes.

Now that’s economic efficiency!

There are several things that always must be mentioned when speaking of Michael Jackson. One of those things is the giraffes standing in their own coagulated blood pools back at his abandoned homestead. Another thing un-skipable is how he was the R Kelly of 2005.

Another thing that absolutely has to come up is how, even though Thriller is still the biggest selling album of all time, and the Taj Mahal’s entire south wing is built out of copies of it, Jackson is still destitute or something. He almost lost his house a bit ago – it was spared at the last second by the financial intervention of his pet tigers or something.

Well, his $23 million loan for the place was picked up by a company called Colony Capital, which conveniently owns thousands of Las Vegas casinos. A Jackson-led Vegas show has been talked about for years. The New York Times will make this one a little less fuzzy for you:

“Mr. Jackson, who has had a seemingly endless series of financial troubles over the past few years, including a recent threat of foreclosure at his Neverland Ranch in California, is considering a long term Las Vegas engagement as part of a plan to repay a $23 million debt to Colony Capital, the private equity group that recently bought the loan on Neverland, Reuters reported. Colony owns the Las Vegas Hilton, and is a major shareholder in the Station Casinos chain. There is no deal yet and the possible Las Vegas engagement is one of several repayment options Mr. Jackson and Colony are considering.”

Other repayment options under consideration, reportedly, are earning millions by teaching the US military how to turn its soldiers into spaceships and repeatedly launching Norm from Cheers through the stratosphere in a brown recliner.

We’re really not sure how money would come about from that last bit. Maybe put it on Pay-Per-View or something.