Blonde thingy Paris Hilton and boyfriend Benji Madden are being investigated by police for an alleged hit and run, according to The Sun.
They are accused of driving over photographer Glen Gurniak’s foot as they left a club in Los Angeles Thursday.
Gurniak was left grounded, squealing in pain, as if he were nothing more than a piece of disposable paparazzi trash.
However, he soon got up to file a police report against them with the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department. Spokesman Steve Witmore said:
“The incident is currently under investigation.”
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Nineties heartthrob Sandra Bullock has narrowly escaped death after her car was hit by a drug-crazed female driver.
The drug in question is the one which is responsible for more deaths each year than cocaine, heroin and crack combined.
It is the one which is smelt on the breath of 40% of reported violent criminals, 78% of assaulters and 88% of criminal damagers.
Worst of all, it is the drug most responsible for the current record-breaking human-population on earth.
It’s alcohol – obviously.
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If a regular person like you were to be involved in a car accident, the only way you could expect to make the headlines would be if it involved an overturned lorry, five squashed school kids, one heavily concussed granny and a rescue effort from Tom Cruise.
And even then you probably wouldn’t get a name mention, just simply be referred to as ‘man’, and if your really, really lucky, that’ll be prefixed with a description of your race.
Whereas, if you’re Britney Spears, all you need do to start a worldwide ‘Car-crash!’ frenzy is gently kiss your bumper against the car in front, with not so much as one injury – fatal or otherwise – or even so much as a scratch on yours or any other person’s vehicle.
The lucky bitch.
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