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Colin Firth

Zellweger To Play Bridget Again If She Doesn’t Have To Get Fat

by Joanna Bolouri on March 2, 2011 1 Comment

When ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ first came out, women all over the world shouted muffled ”hurrah” sounds from their pie-filled gobs, while patting their little round bellies and thanking Hollywood for making a decent film about  a ‘normal’ woman who ate stuff and wanted a boyfriend, regardless of how dull he was.

Then they made the hideous ’Bridget Jones- The Edge of Reason’ and everyone shouted “THAT WAS SHITE”, called her fat and wished she was dead.

So Hollywood in its infinite wisdom has decided to make a trilogy and, with no third novel to base the film on, we’re hoping they at least set it somewhere good. Like space.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty on February 25, 2011 0 Comments

This week’s filthy likes and dislikes.

Folded:

  • Scott Mills (annoying as you like on the radio, but fair play to him for making that difficult The World’s Worst Place to Be Gay? programme. Slapped repeatedly with a chicken for goodness sake)
  • National Express’ profits are up nearly 40% (great news for them, though undoubtedly means we are all too poor and undignified to get the train)
  • Colin Firth not winning Best Actor at the Academy Awards (c’mon let’s get behind this idea and see if the world really does end)
  • Born This Way by Lady Gaga (yes it sounds like Express Yourself and yes we don’t care)
  • The Social Network, out this week on DVD (populated entirely by characters you won’t give a stuff about. Still worth borrowing a copy off your mate)

Creased:

Golden Globes 2011 Nominations Prompts Everyone To Write Out Long, Pointless List Of Things

by Mof Gimmers on December 15, 2010 2 Comments

Hey! It’s the Golden Globes! No, that’s not C3PO’s testicles, but rather, yet another stupid awards ceremony that will appear on the stickers of DVD releases next year in an attempt to make us part with our cash.

Us Limey bastards can show fleeting pride too as The King’s Speech – which stars more Limey bastards – got Quite A Few Nominations.

Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter play blueblooded lizard shits George VI and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother in the film which no-one you’ll have met has seen. Read More >>>

Johnny Borrell To Be Murdered

by hecklerspray staff on April 4, 2008 6 Comments

Johnny Borrell Murdered movie Irvine WelshGood news, people: the world’s second biggest twat, otherwise known as Jonathan Edward Borrell, is to be murdered.

OK, OK, yeahyeahyeah, it’s only going to happen in a movie, but sometimes life imitates art, right? Right? Right. We can but hope. Our fingers remain firmly crossed.

Borrell is to star in the new film by Antonia Bird and Irvine Welsh, named The Meat Trade, and will be killed by two grave robbers, played by Robert Carlyle and Colin Firth. Jonathan Edward told the Daily Star:

"It's going to be so much fun. I love horror and I'm a really big fan of Irvine Welsh's work. I loved Trainspotting."

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