Articles tagged with: coldplay
Coldplay Deny Stealing That Song That Sounds Exactly Like Theirs
Quickly - try to think of something more boring than a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay. You can't, can you? That's because legal disputes between Joe Satriani and Coldplay are the most boring things ever created. If you look up 'boring' in the dictionary, you won't see a picture of a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay, because when the author thought about drawing an illustration of a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay he became so overwhelmed with boredom that he shot himself. Anyway, Coldplay have denied stealing a Joe Satriani song. That was our point.
Quickly - try to think of something more boring than a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay. You can't, can you? That's because legal disputes between Joe Satriani and Coldplay are the most boring things ever created. If you look up 'boring' in the dictionary, you won't see a picture of a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay, because when the author thought about drawing an illustration of a legal dispute between Joe Satriani and Coldplay he became so overwhelmed with boredom that he shot himself. Anyway, Coldplay have denied stealing a Joe Satriani song. That was our point.
It’s The Brit Awards Tonight. Contain Yourself.
Tonight, ITV wipes its entire schedule of supposed entertainment to bring us the Brit Awards 2009. It may not have happened yet, but we can’t see it being edgy, cool or vaguely risky. The show goes out at 8pm, leaving today's young pop stars with an entire hour to swear before the watershed kicks in. Just over a week ago, we watched the Grammys which quite frankly overshadowed the entire Brits ceremony. Not only did the Grammys have a million categories where nearly everyone can win, but we don’t expect there to be any pre-show scraps like the alleged one between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Unless someone attacks Chris Martin with a pack of streaky bacon.
Tonight, ITV wipes its entire schedule of supposed entertainment to bring us the Brit Awards 2009. It may not have happened yet, but we can’t see it being edgy, cool or vaguely risky. The show goes out at 8pm, leaving today's young pop stars with an entire hour to swear before the watershed kicks in. Just over a week ago, we watched the Grammys which quite frankly overshadowed the entire Brits ceremony. Not only did the Grammys have a million categories where nearly everyone can win, but we don’t expect there to be any pre-show scraps like the alleged one between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Unless someone attacks Chris Martin with a pack of streaky bacon.
Did Coldplay Steal Their Dreary Tunes From Joe Satriani?
Imagine if you realised that a song you wrote sounded quite like Coldplay - you'd kill yourself out of shame, wouldn't you. Well, not if you're Joe Satriani. Joe's claiming that Coldplay ripped off chunks his song If I Could Fly in Viva La Vida, and he's suing the band for everything they've got - so essentially a U2 songbook, some tatty faux-Napoleonic jackets and a scrawny wife who always looks miserable. Why wasn't the comparison between the songs pointed out sooner? Because everyone knows that if you own a Coldplay album and a Joe Satriani album, you must be drowned like a witch, that's why.
Imagine if you realised that a song you wrote sounded quite like Coldplay - you'd kill yourself out of shame, wouldn't you. Well, not if you're Joe Satriani. Joe's claiming that Coldplay ripped off chunks his song If I Could Fly in Viva La Vida, and he's suing the band for everything they've got - so essentially a U2 songbook, some tatty faux-Napoleonic jackets and a scrawny wife who always looks miserable. Why wasn't the comparison between the songs pointed out sooner? Because everyone knows that if you own a Coldplay album and a Joe Satriani album, you must be drowned like a witch, that's why.
Grammy Noms: Hey, Some People Still Like Coldplay!
British people, it's time to celebrate - the world's smuggest, dreariest, most interminable music awards show likes our music! Some of the nominations for next year's Grammys have been announced, and British names like Robert Plant, Adele, Duffy, MIA and Radiohead are all over them. Now we're not saying that this is because 2008 was a bad year for music, but Coldplay did get seven nominations, so we suppose in retrospect we are a bit. And this is just the start - next year the rest of the Grammy nominations are announced, including Best Native American Music Album. Come on Coldplay! Make it eight!
British people, it's time to celebrate - the world's smuggest, dreariest, most interminable music awards show likes our music! Some of the nominations for next year's Grammys have been announced, and British names like Robert Plant, Adele, Duffy, MIA and Radiohead are all over them. Now we're not saying that this is because 2008 was a bad year for music, but Coldplay did get seven nominations, so we suppose in retrospect we are a bit. And this is just the start - next year the rest of the Grammy nominations are announced, including Best Native American Music Album. Come on Coldplay! Make it eight!
Coldplay Ruin Guitar Hero
Remember the old music teacher at school calling you a fat useless shit who’d amount to nothing? As you tried to get those chubby fingers of yours around the holes in the recorder, the evil teacher cackled as you ran out of breath and collapsed on the floor through failing to utter a single note.
Times have changed. Granted, you may be obese through to an addiction of Ginsters pasties, but that doesn’t matter. Back in the old days you may have had no musical ability, but all that has changed due to the creation of Guitar Hero. You can almost be as good as Slash as you press a few coloured buttons in time to the ones on the screen. Now sodden Coldplay have only donated a couple of songs. Preaching about the environment is optional.
Coldplay Record ‘Sexy’ Duet With Kylie, Public Shudders Preemptively
Coldplay, like you didn't already know, have an album coming out soon entitled Look Mummy I'm Just Like Bono! Wheeee! Or something. And, from what we've heard, the new Coldplay album is a lot like the old Coldplay album - it's all inoffensively big-sounding and the lyrics don't make much sense and it'll work decently enough as a soundtrack to those bi-monthly trips to Habitat with the kids. But one thing it isn't is sexy. Never fear, though, because Coldplay have already found a solution - they've apparently recorded a duet with Kylie. It would have been on their new album, too, except that Chris Martin says it's "just too sexy". Hecklerspray accepts no liability for the almost-guaranteed permanent loss of libido caused by reading that last sentence.
Coldplay, like you didn't already know, have an album coming out soon entitled Look Mummy I'm Just Like Bono! Wheeee! Or something. And, from what we've heard, the new Coldplay album is a lot like the old Coldplay album - it's all inoffensively big-sounding and the lyrics don't make much sense and it'll work decently enough as a soundtrack to those bi-monthly trips to Habitat with the kids. But one thing it isn't is sexy. Never fear, though, because Coldplay have already found a solution - they've apparently recorded a duet with Kylie. It would have been on their new album, too, except that Chris Martin says it's "just too sexy". Hecklerspray accepts no liability for the almost-guaranteed permanent loss of libido caused by reading that last sentence.
Coldplay Single Downloaded By 2m, Enjoyed By Far Fewer
Hey everyone, Coldplay are back! Finally, drearily self-important, emotionally hollow stadium rock for people who don't like music has a voice again! To mark their return, Coldplay recently decided to release their new single Violet Hill as a free download. And apparently Violet Hill has now been downloaded by two million people eager to hear Coldplay's Spanish-influenced, Brian Eno-helmed new direction. Sadly there aren't any figures for how many people only listened to Violet Hill once, rolled their eyes because it's exactly the same as every other Coldplay song ever written and instantly deleted it from their iTunes library. We're guessing it's just a shade off two million.
Hey everyone, Coldplay are back! Finally, drearily self-important, emotionally hollow stadium rock for people who don't like music has a voice again! To mark their return, Coldplay recently decided to release their new single Violet Hill as a free download. And apparently Violet Hill has now been downloaded by two million people eager to hear Coldplay's Spanish-influenced, Brian Eno-helmed new direction. Sadly there aren't any figures for how many people only listened to Violet Hill once, rolled their eyes because it's exactly the same as every other Coldplay song ever written and instantly deleted it from their iTunes library. We're guessing it's just a shade off two million.
Coldplay Try And Do A Radiohead
Last year the music industry cacked itself senseless as Radiohead decided to break the monotonous music industry procedures.
Others have since copied Radiohead and given their music away for free. And today another major band is set to do the
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