Articles tagged with: Cliff Richard
No, really. Actual fascists. Cliff Richard would have won Eurovision in 1968 if it weren't for those darn fascists. Really. A documentary was aired on Spanish TV last night claiming that Cliff Richard was the rightful winner of the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest in London, but General Franco's fascist regime rigged the vote in Spain's favour. These are just claims, of course, and we have no reason to believe that they're true - firstly because if you can't trust an all-powerful unblinking facist dictatorship then who can you trust, and secondly because Cliff Richard is going to be really sodding unbearable once he finds out about it.
Now, chances are you've just read the words 'Cliff Richard: Literally The New Radiohead' and assumed that Sir Cliff Richard has recorded a depressing wonky-eyed album full of experimentally introspective songs called things like Kafka SMTP.
However, the truth is a little more boring. Instead of, say, soundtracking an avant-garde movie about radio static with a series of dissonant chords played on the back of a kettle, Cliff Richard has instead decided to let his fans choose how much they want to pay for his new album entitled Love... The Album. But it's pretty much entirely irrelevant what hare-brained scheme Cliff Richard has dreamed up to sell his new record, because it rests on the hinges of Cliff Richard fans using the internet to preorder the album, and in our experience most Cliff Richard fans are so technologically backwards that they've only just learnt that DVDs aren't for spreading jam on and trying to eat like shiny Ryvita.
