Articles tagged with: Clay Aiken
Don’t Worry Clay Aiken, Rosie O’Donnell Loves You
Now that Clay Aiken has decided to announce he's openly gay, his life is bound to change in many exciting and scary ways. For example, Clay Aiken might find himself starting to enjoy the music of Bette Midler more that he did before, and there'll be moments when he finds the movie Mamma Mia genuinely touching rather than tacky and bad. But most of all, Clay Aiken will find himself at the centre of a Rosie O'Donnell statement. In fact, Clay Aiken already has. In a brief statement given hours after it emerged that Clay Aiken was gay, Rosie O'Donnell told the world that she 'loves' Clay. Oh Rosie - Clay Aiken isn't going to love you back, you know. He's gay now, and that means he doesn't like women. But don't worry Rosie O'Donnell, you'll find a good man one of these days.
Now that Clay Aiken has decided to announce he's openly gay, his life is bound to change in many exciting and scary ways. For example, Clay Aiken might find himself starting to enjoy the music of Bette Midler more that he did before, and there'll be moments when he finds the movie Mamma Mia genuinely touching rather than tacky and bad. But most of all, Clay Aiken will find himself at the centre of a Rosie O'Donnell statement. In fact, Clay Aiken already has. In a brief statement given hours after it emerged that Clay Aiken was gay, Rosie O'Donnell told the world that she 'loves' Clay. Oh Rosie - Clay Aiken isn't going to love you back, you know. He's gay now, and that means he doesn't like women. But don't worry Rosie O'Donnell, you'll find a good man one of these days.
Wait A Minute, Clay Aiken Is GAY?!
You might want to sit down for this. Clay Aiken - the gay one from American Idol who everyone thought was gay - is actually gay. We know. We were staggered as well. The news about Clay Aiken being gay broke after a cover of the next issue of People was leaked to the press, featuring a gay-looking Clay Aiken and the headline 'Yes, I'm Gay'. Clay Aiken's blindsiding admission is just the latest shocking scoop that People has scored, following last month's 'The Pope: Hey, I'm A Catholic' and 'A Bear: Yes, I Just Did A Poo In The Woods Over There.' It was undoubtedly a very brave thing Clay Aiken to do - to reveal his true sexuality after so many years of hiding it from the public - but he shouldn't have worried. Because whatever sexuality Clay Aiken happens to be, gay or straight, we still won't really know who he is. And isn't that the most important thing?
You might want to sit down for this. Clay Aiken - the gay one from American Idol who everyone thought was gay - is actually gay. We know. We were staggered as well. The news about Clay Aiken being gay broke after a cover of the next issue of People was leaked to the press, featuring a gay-looking Clay Aiken and the headline 'Yes, I'm Gay'. Clay Aiken's blindsiding admission is just the latest shocking scoop that People has scored, following last month's 'The Pope: Hey, I'm A Catholic' and 'A Bear: Yes, I Just Did A Poo In The Woods Over There.' It was undoubtedly a very brave thing Clay Aiken to do - to reveal his true sexuality after so many years of hiding it from the public - but he shouldn't have worried. Because whatever sexuality Clay Aiken happens to be, gay or straight, we still won't really know who he is. And isn't that the most important thing?
Old Lady Pushes Out Baby Made With Clay Aiken’s Chromosomal Input
Somewhere - recently - in a dark corner of a hospital, new life was given. It sprang forth from its mother's womb. Taking a first invigorating breath, it leapt off the table - and then just stood there taking everything in. It thought of the struggle it had just endured to fight its way out of his mother's colon, and it thought of the struggles yet to come. But mostly it was just glad its mamma's smaller intestine could no longer coil around it all snake-like. You ever had a poo-filled serpent put the squeeze on you? It's unpleasant to say the least. Maybe that's why Clay Aiken's baby wanted out so bad - and it did! That's right, Clay Aiken is a father. His child was born, and unless some sort of crazy time machine causes him to get sucked back up somebody's freshly stretched woo-woo, he's here to stay.
Somewhere - recently - in a dark corner of a hospital, new life was given. It sprang forth from its mother's womb. Taking a first invigorating breath, it leapt off the table - and then just stood there taking everything in. It thought of the struggle it had just endured to fight its way out of his mother's colon, and it thought of the struggles yet to come. But mostly it was just glad its mamma's smaller intestine could no longer coil around it all snake-like. You ever had a poo-filled serpent put the squeeze on you? It's unpleasant to say the least. Maybe that's why Clay Aiken's baby wanted out so bad - and it did! That's right, Clay Aiken is a father. His child was born, and unless some sort of crazy time machine causes him to get sucked back up somebody's freshly stretched woo-woo, he's here to stay.
Clay Aiken Impregnates 50 Year Old Woman Who’s Really Been Asking For It
Gay community – red rover red rover send Clay Aiken on over! Because a woman is currently pregnant with his child. That’s right, we said a woman is currently pregnant with Clay Aiken’s baby – a female woman too, not the cheap kind with the snap-on lady parts. Not only did he render a woman with-child using nothing but the powers of his magic mind, but it’s some 50-year-old woman too – one who mathematically speaking should have been barren at least 20 years ago. But why isn’t she barren? We don’t know – but we assume it has something to do with her rubbing stereo speakers all over her woo-woo while Measure of a Man plays on repeat in the cassette player. And we want you all to know we’re serious about that too – Africa’s population is currently booming for that same Aiken woo-woo rubbing reason - it really works!
Gay community – red rover red rover send Clay Aiken on over! Because a woman is currently pregnant with his child. That’s right, we said a woman is currently pregnant with Clay Aiken’s baby – a female woman too, not the cheap kind with the snap-on lady parts. Not only did he render a woman with-child using nothing but the powers of his magic mind, but it’s some 50-year-old woman too – one who mathematically speaking should have been barren at least 20 years ago. But why isn’t she barren? We don’t know – but we assume it has something to do with her rubbing stereo speakers all over her woo-woo while Measure of a Man plays on repeat in the cassette player. And we want you all to know we’re serious about that too – Africa’s population is currently booming for that same Aiken woo-woo rubbing reason - it really works!
