Paz de la Huerta – who you’ve never heard of because she’s an actress on Boardwalk Empire, which is only watched by eight broadsheet writers and a handful of saps in slacks – has been charged with assault.
Who has she attacked? Well, you’ll be fizzing with excitement when you discover that she set-about ‘City’ star Samantha Swetra.
Amazing! It would appear that Paz has been charged with 5 misdemeanor charges, including two counts of 3rd degree assault, 4th degree criminal possession of a weapon, attempted assault and harassment. Great list.
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The last time Batman was in court it was for the now infamous case Batman vs. Dick Grayson’s cold, cold heart, in which the Dark Knight awkwardly sued his only co-worker for unrequited love. We’re not sure how it ended, but we seem to remember some major civil right coming out of the thing.
The next time he was in court was for a space-camp lawsuit, and the time after that it was because Catwoman smacked him really hard with a bull-whip once. It was in the middle of a battle. The judge sided with the lady, possibly because she was all leathered-up.
But as anybody who has ever sued judicially knows, three lawsuits are never enough. That’s why Batman is currently sticking it to Christopher Nolan for getting all up in his business and ruining the awesome life he once had. Wait – did we say ‘..he once had’? Because we meant to say ‘..it once had.’ The Batman in this case is some crappy city in Turkey.
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