Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
The Golden Globe nominations were announced yesterday, and needless to say, I was not impressed. Sure, a lot of cool and deserving people got nominated, but one key person was snubbed and that was Toni Collette.
This year, Toni Collette starred in Hereditary, a horror movie that is also one of the best reviewed movies of the year. Critics called it the new The Exorcist, and it was fucking PHENOMENAL. But what made the movie was just how fucking good Toni Collette was in it.
So, the Oscar nominations were revealed on Tuesday, and yes, I know, it’s Thursday. I’m pregnant, I have a toddler, I work full time, AND I’m a grad student, so please back the fuck off my shit, ok? Now that that has been settled, let’s move on.
There weren’t a ton of shockers and I can probably go ahead and predict the major acting award winners right now (Gary Oldman FINALLY, Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell, and Alison Janney), and I don’t even think I’m going to post the full list of nominees in here since they’ve been out for days and you probably know them, but there were some cool things worth mentioning.
I’ve been loving Charlize Theron since the 90’s when she was in that movie 12 Days in the Valley, but over the past few years she’s really come through and taken the role as the top bad bitch in Hollywood.
Back in 2015, she basically made film history as Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road, an intensely feminist action film where she challenged beauty, feminine, masculine, and even ability stereotypes. This summer she’s back with Atomic Blonde, another action movie starring Charlize as like a female James Bond, if James Bond was like 50 times cooler.
So the Oscars were last night, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed them. They were just political enough in the sense that 1) it’s important for them to be political, and 2) but Jesus Christ let’s take a break from this shit for just ONE night and celebrate some good movies, you know?
Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, Viola Davis, and Mahershala Ali all won acting awards, and La La Land won Best Picture…EXCEPT IT DIDN’T! Moonlight did! However, La La Land did win for like a minute. It was a whole thing.
Disney has been having a pretty good run of turning their animated classics into live-action hits. Cinderella in 2015 was great and The Jungle Book in 2016 was visually just next level. This year they’re giving us Beauty and the Beast, which is sure to be a hit, but what’re their plan for 2018?
Some have said a live-action The Lion King, but let’s just scrap that, because Lindsay Lohan has proposed a far more sure fire hit! Disney presents a live-action The Little Mermaid starring LINDSAY LOHAN! My prayers have been answered!
In the week since Donald Trump has become president, he has basically done every single evil and shitty thing he promised he’d do, and no one is more surprised than I am. I mean, I genuinely figured he’d take office and do nothing. Grab white house secretary’s asses or some vile shit, but nothing that would truly put the whole damn country in turmoil.
Boy, was I wrong. Aside from all his abortion and wall building heinous bullshit, you guys have probably also heard about his EXTREMELY unconstitutional Muslim ban. Trump made an executive order blocking citizens of seven Muslim majority countries from entering the US. This means that Iranian, Oscar-Winning and currently Oscar-nominated director Asghar Farhadi can’t even attend the fucking Oscars this year.
2016 was an absolute shit show across the board, but aside from politics and global tragedies, we also had some really, REALLY terrible films. My husband made me go see Batman v Superman with him and I genuinely believe that watching that movie in full could be used as a new torture tactic at Guantanamo.
So it was no surprise to me (or anyone who struggled to sit through the entire damn thing which felt like 17 fucking hours) that it picked up a ton of Razzie nominations yesterday.
Mere hours ago I posted part 2 of a series of GIFs representing how I’ve been handling the shit show that is 2016. When I posted that blog this morning I figured: there are only four days left to this shit year, what other major pop culture/global tragedies could even happen?
To that, 2016 said: Ha! Screw you, bitch, I’m taking Princess Leia. Which it then did. I am incredibly, INCREDIBLY sad to report that at the young age of 60, the iconic Carrie Fisher has passed away.
A couple of months back I did a blog on how I’d been handling 2016 via GIFs. At the time, I dealt with my feelings about everything from Beyoncé’s Lemonade to Brangelina’s split, the shit show election to Kimye outing Taylor Swift as shady, Brexit to the constant drivel that comes out of Lena Dunham’s mouth.
I really thought that, with a mere two and a half months left to the year, nothing could get much worse (or better). I thought maybe pop culture had blown my mind enough for one year. But nope, Trump got elected and for some reason we still let Lena Dunham speak publically. Here’s how I’ve been handling 2016’s bullshit since October 8th, when I last aired my feelings. Once again, presented in GIFs…
Around this time every year, studios get to pimping out their big time Oscar bait and there are at least a dozen movies I really want to see because they look so fucking fantastic. The past two years have actually been really great for film, but this year the only movies I was mega jazzed on were The Witch and Zootopia (both were siiiiiick).
I’ve legit had numerous conversations with multiple people about how we had NO idea what would even be nominated for the Oscars this year, but today the Golden Globe nominations were released and, amazingly, it’s a bunch of shit I’ve never even heard of.
