Articles tagged with: Christmas
Bob Dylan To Massacre Every Christmas Song You Ever Loved
Ah, Christmas. Goodwill to all men, figgy puddings, the first dusting of snow, the scent of nutmeg in the air. Creepy old men who look like retired cowboy transvestites. Said creepy old men bawling Here Comes Santa Claus in a way that's so off-kilter and tuneless that it inadvertently leads every child who hears it to believe that Santa Claus is some sort of dangerous child molester, and then honking gracelessly into a harmonica for 45 minutes until the festive spirit of goodwill has been obliterated completely. That's right - Bob Dylan is bringing out a Christmas album. It will be wonderful.
Ah, Christmas. Goodwill to all men, figgy puddings, the first dusting of snow, the scent of nutmeg in the air. Creepy old men who look like retired cowboy transvestites. Said creepy old men bawling Here Comes Santa Claus in a way that's so off-kilter and tuneless that it inadvertently leads every child who hears it to believe that Santa Claus is some sort of dangerous child molester, and then honking gracelessly into a harmonica for 45 minutes until the festive spirit of goodwill has been obliterated completely. That's right - Bob Dylan is bringing out a Christmas album. It will be wonderful.
WEBTHUMP! Monday 22 December 2008
10 - Christmas, innit... 9 - You know why you haven't a got a girlfriend? It's because you don't smell enough of meat - KTLA 8 - Gratuitous self-promotion of the week, part one: Stu's foolproof Christmas survival guide, over at Kontraband 7 - Transformers 3 has a release date. Merry Christmas! - ...
WEBTHUMP! Wednesday 10 December 2008
10 - This. Is. Wonderful... 9 - The best and worst Christmas songs ever. Each of them, in its own way, is magical - Metromix 8 - 100mph train crash test - YouTube 7 - Delicious food that might kill you - Asylum 6 - Disgusting food that ...
Stuck For Children’s Presents This Christmas? Let hecklerspray help you.
Over the years, there’s always been one present which has captured the imagination of children. From yo-yos to Gameboys and iPods, these gifts have been what all little boys and girls want unless they want to be bullied in the playground for not being trendy. One gift that has multiple uses and ...
Badvertising: Marks & Spencer, Take That
Christmas is a time to spend with family and friends. Or, failing that, a rubbishy old boyband from the 1990s and a gaggle of neatly age-diverse supermodels. And if you could spend it in what's basically the hotel from The Shining just to make it even more super-depressing, why that'd be ...
John Sergeant Proves He Doesn’t Get It, Records Christmas Song
Thanks to his talent for shuffling around on a shiny floor, panting and wheezing like a saggy weeble having a coronary, John Sergeant has never been more popular. And, now that the big hoo-hah about his resignation from Strictly Come Dancing has finally died down, the world of slightly tawdry opportunities has been opened to him. John Sergeant can now do whatever he likes - he can release a lazily-ghostwritten autobiography about his time on Strictly Come Dancing, he can take Kerry Katona's place as the face of Iceland, he can even bring out his own perfume if he likes. But only if he decides to call it Gout by John Sergeant. That's a dealbreaker. But, no, John Sergeant is far too classy to try anything so shallo... what? John Sergeant isn't too classy for any of that? In fact John Sergeant has such an inherent lack of class that he's bringing out a Christmas single? And it's a duet with Adrian Chiles from The One Show? Here's a challenge - you've got all day to think of a worse idea than that. You won't be able to.
Thanks to his talent for shuffling around on a shiny floor, panting and wheezing like a saggy weeble having a coronary, John Sergeant has never been more popular. And, now that the big hoo-hah about his resignation from Strictly Come Dancing has finally died down, the world of slightly tawdry opportunities has been opened to him. John Sergeant can now do whatever he likes - he can release a lazily-ghostwritten autobiography about his time on Strictly Come Dancing, he can take Kerry Katona's place as the face of Iceland, he can even bring out his own perfume if he likes. But only if he decides to call it Gout by John Sergeant. That's a dealbreaker. But, no, John Sergeant is far too classy to try anything so shallo... what? John Sergeant isn't too classy for any of that? In fact John Sergeant has such an inherent lack of class that he's bringing out a Christmas single? And it's a duet with Adrian Chiles from The One Show? Here's a challenge - you've got all day to think of a worse idea than that. You won't be able to.
Badvertising – DFS Sofas/General Christmas Advertising
At hecklerspray, we’re always up for a knees-up. Even if we’re not invited, we’ll at least try to crash various parties until the police are called. The next major party on our calendar is that of our lord saviour Jesus Christ. When he was born on December 25, not only did ...
Madonna & Guy Ritchie: Divorced By Christmas
Everyone loves photos of Madonna and Guy Ritchie clutching each other's hands in a grimly unconvincing demonstration of love, don't they. So make the most of them while you can, because you might not see any more of them. According to reports, Madonna and Guy Ritchie now hate each other so much that they only communicate through staff, and they're both keen on getting a divorce finalised by Christmas. This really is a win-win - if they're not getting divorced, we get to look at more photos of Guy Ritchie and Madonna in public trying to pretend that they like one another. And if they are getting divorced? Well, that means the rest of us have a shot at the gnarly-clawed single mother and the potato-faced idiot that have just come onto the market. Everyone's happy.
Everyone loves photos of Madonna and Guy Ritchie clutching each other's hands in a grimly unconvincing demonstration of love, don't they. So make the most of them while you can, because you might not see any more of them. According to reports, Madonna and Guy Ritchie now hate each other so much that they only communicate through staff, and they're both keen on getting a divorce finalised by Christmas. This really is a win-win - if they're not getting divorced, we get to look at more photos of Guy Ritchie and Madonna in public trying to pretend that they like one another. And if they are getting divorced? Well, that means the rest of us have a shot at the gnarly-clawed single mother and the potato-faced idiot that have just come onto the market. Everyone's happy.
