The alleged Chris Brown/ Rihanna fight started with a booty text – OK, a confusing hatred of women and a booty text.
But who sent it? Some said it was Kim Kardashian, who liked Chris Brown because her bottom is large and dense enough to absorb most violent attacks. Some said it was Paris Hilton, because her catchphrase of “That’s hot” could easily be adapted if Chris Brown decided to attack her with a poker.
But apparently the woman who sent Chris Brown the booty text that enraged Rihanna so much was his manager Tina Davis, who’s – what’s the word? - old.
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For an internet fad, Chris Brown’s alleged attack on Rihanna is rubbish – like, where are all the video mashups?
We have two good reasons why not. Firstly, on the scale of hilarity, an alleged domestic assault – even between a couple of mildly annoying pop stars – isn’t exactly David After Dentist, is it? Secondly, it’s hard to be funny about something when there are absolutely no details about it whatsoever.
Until now. A source claims that Chris Brown and Rihanna started to fight when Chris got a texted booty call. Which is ridiculous – who’d want to have sex with Chris Brown?
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