HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Chris Brown Sort Of Admits That He Is A Monster After All

By Stuart Heritage

Chris Brown, Chris Brown video, Rihanna, Chris Brown SorryChris Brown is about to face the fight of his life – which isn’t hard because he usually just fights girls.

And they’re easy to beat. But we digress. This time, Chris Brown is fighting for his reputation. Now he’s pleaded guilty to attacking Rihanna, Chris Brown doesn’t want to be known as the violent woman-hating brute with the stupid teeth any more – he wants to be known as the wimpily generic R&B star with the stupid teeth again.

So Chris Brown has taken the sensible option – he’s begged his fans for forgiveness on YouTube. While dressed as a Chinese waiter.

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Chris Brown Wants God To Make Him Less Of A Raging Nimrod

By Stuart Heritage

Since he was arrested for allegedly knocking Rihanna about, Chris Brown has been keeping fairly schtum.

But that couldn’t last. Chris Brown has finally broken his silence over the incident, by releasing a statement saying that he’s sorry and also that he wants God to make him a better person.

Fortunately, God has nothing better to do at the moment, so he’s all for taking Chris Brown under his omniscient wing. First on God’s agenda: teaching Chris Brown that if you’re upset with a woman, you should probably consider stoning her to death. Simply choking her into unconsciousness is for pussies.

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