Articles tagged with: China
You know Chinese Democracy? The just-released album by Guns N' Roses that was titled to deliberately upset the Chinese government? Well, you'll never guess what it's just done. A newspaper published by the Chinese government's ruling Communist Party has got upset with the title Chinese Democracy, and accused Guns N' Roses of 'turning its spearpoint' on China. Not that the Chinese government has any real reason to worry about Guns N' Roses' spear - based on historical evidence we'd say that Axl Rose is going to spend the next 15 years polishing the spear to within an inch of its life, then get Shaquille O'Neal to do a rap about the spear, then build everybody's expectations of the spear to the extent that it'll be a horrible letdown to anyone who actually sees the spear. And then instead of stabbing anyone with it, he'll just go and have a wank anyway.
It wasn’t so long ago that Sharon Stone offended all of China by saying each and everyone of them looked delicious, or something, and would no doubt be scrumptious when mashed down into a cracker-topping paste. She then drew up blueprints for a restaurant that would use this as its niche. We told her this was a foolish concept, as nobody would come to a restaurant that only served crackers with mashed Chinamen on them. She said we misunderstood, and that she would use a wide variety of crackers to offer her patrons several palatable options. And that was the line she used to sell us 20% of her stock. If all goes well, we’ll be able to retire several months ahead of schedule. We actually can’t remember if any of that was true or not. What is true though is that 1,000 Chinese people are on the verge of sueing Stone for one billion dollars worth of stir fried beef and broccoli for her ‘Karma’ comment a while back. Or did they just want a billion in cold, hard cash? We're pretty sure it was the latter.
That Dalai Lama and Robert Smith are a lot alike. More alike than you probably appreciate.
The Dalai Lama and Robert Smith both have their own websites, both find an umbrella necessary during monsoon season, both say “let’s go to bed†when they’re sleepy, and both of them are distancing themselves from Sharon Stone.
So, the Sharon Stone thing might be true for the Dalai Lama, but we’d wager Robert Smith would do the same, given the chance.
We’d all do the same, given the chance.
That Sharon Stone, eh? You can't take her anywhere - primarily because she'll start jabbering on like a tit about how the Chinese earthquake was karma. One place you especially can't take Sharon Stone is this year's Shanghai Film Festival. Following her remarks that the recent Chine earthquake might have been some sort of cosmic payback for its occupation of Tibet, Sharon Stone's invitation to the festival has been revoked. Undeterred, Sharon Stone has decided to hold her own Sharon Stone Film Festival in her basement, and everyone's invited - except for the Chinese, people who look a bit Chinesey, people who know all the words to Domo Arigato, Mr Roboto and anyone who doesn't want to watch Catwoman, Sliver, Basic Instinct 2 and Police Academy 4 on a never-ending loop. She probably shouldn't buy too many nibbles.
We like to voice our opinion. If there’s something we don’t like, we will act. As a matter of fact it happened last week. We successfully got the local café to stop using bacon that had been dropped on the floor in sandwiches.
Whilst our campaign was a small victory, someone had to try and do something better. And it was only bloody Bjork, who went out of her to try and make a difference to someone. However, in stark contrast between ourselves and the Icelandic pop queen, she didn’t really do much good. Instead of helping, she fucked off the whole of China and consequently the government there now wants to stop foreign artists entering the country.
Well done Bjork!
'One World One Dream' is China's slogan for the 2008 Olympics which, on the face of it, makes their government seem no more harmful than Bono.
And if Bono rang you up and said he wanted you to be artistic advisor for one of his gigs promoting this ‘One World One Dream’ ideal and he’d pay you a lot of money for it, so much so that the shame of working with U2 was totally rescinded, you’d no doubt quickly jump on board and put on one hell of a 3D laser-fest.
