by Stuart Heritage
Although she’s doing a pretty good job of being a pop star and all-around positive role-model, Britney Spears might be looking ahead to a far-off future when things aren’t as peachy for her.
That’s why Britney Spears has scored herself a quiet little job on the side. But what job could you really give someone who, just a few weeks ago, was deemed to be too mentally ill to dress or feed herself?
Why, a children’s dance instructor, of course. Britney Spears is now a genuine dance instructor at the Millennium Dance Complex in Hollywood and is using her considerable dance experience to teach a group of 15 five-year-olds everything she knows. In fact, next week Britney Spears has even asked Madonna to stop by and jab her ancient tongue into each and every one of those adorable infant mouths. It’s heartwarming.
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by hecklerspray staff
Debbie McGee, the wife of Tesco own-brand magician Paul Daniels, has come under fire this week as her now defunct talent agency – cleverly named Debbie McGee Models – was exposed as a big bag of old shit.
One mother, who paid Debbie one hundred and twenty five English pounds to get her daughter Gina modelling work, of which there has subsequently been none, had these words to say:
“When I realised we’d given them £125, I felt stupid.”
When you realised? Did Paul hypnotise you, Gina’s mother? The clever bastard! You definitely aren’t stupid. And Debbie lied to you, did she? She told you Gina would be a star within a matter of months, hhmmm? For only £125? Yeah, we would have bought that too. Being a model’s got to be pretty easy when you look like the rejected spawn of John Major and Edwina Currie. The best Gina can expect is to take over from Kerry Katona when her Iceland contract runs out.
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