But no one seems to have put any real thought into how this has affected the girl on a financial level – yes, we’ll all happily point out that she’s gone mental, we’ll laugh (and wince) when we see her ladybits on show in public and we’ll wonder why she’s such a glutton for punishment when she’s rumoured to make a second appearance at the MTV VMAs.

Then, when all the other news has run out, when she’s calmed down and stopped being as mad, when the kids are safely hidden away with Kevin Federline, people start resorting to cold, hard figures. Namely the ones that say Britney Spears has spent around $700,000 on legal fees trying to get her kids back.

Then the smirk about the situation fades and we are left feeling a bit bad for her again. She’s got quite good at making us not take the piss out of her, actually. The crafty wench.

Whereas the lawyers working on the legal battle between Britney and K-Fed, regarding custody of their children, aren’t just crafty – they’re incredible, evil geniuses. One attorney involved in the case was raking in a reported $700 per hour – PER HOUR – for her services. Now, we all know parasi… lawyers are renowned for being expensive, but by god that’s insane.

The fact that the $407,000 that this Stacy Phillips is claiming is for four months work, well – it makes the blood drip out of our eyes with more force than we’ve ever seen before. There’s rage, anger, vitriol and righteous fury, then there’s this. And we don’t know what it is yet – we need another naming session. Answers below, kids.

Compare Phillips’ rates to those of Britney’s family lawyer, who was re-hired and managed to negotiate increased visitation rights for the mentally fragile poplet – $60,000 for two months work. Still a hell of a lot of money, but Jesus H tapdancing fuckery it isn’t nearly half a million dollars.

The hecklerspray sarcasm/reasonably funny quip generating machine seems to have broken in the wake of this news, being replaced by one that only produces sheer, undiluted rage. Oh well – the shoe still fits.

The question could be raised to the lawyers involved in this case of “how do you sleep at night?” but the simple answer would clearly be that of Rainier Wolfcastle from The Simpsons, who when asked the same question responded: “On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful women.”

Or they’d just gleefully ignore the question and drive off in a money-filled car, to a house made of platinum-laced gold to eat money salad with sauteed money and a side dish of roast money. The absolute, god-awful parasites. They haven’t even managed to get Britney her kids back, so what’s the point in paying them? Surely they’re not worth that much.

Surprisingly enough – or not – the fees are being contested by Britney Spears’ current legal team. Who are probably on more than minimum wage themselves, let’s be honest here, and while the girl can afford it, it doesn’t mean she should be fleeced endlessly.

In fact, she should probably donate some cash our way for being really nice to her.