Posts tagged as:

cheryl cole

Cheryl Cole Booed For Reasons Other Than Terrible Hair

by Joanna Bolouri

Cheryl Cole has finally ‘arrived’ in America and we’re genuinely happy. Not for her you understand, we couldn’t give two hoots what she does, we’re just happy that we’re not within punching distance anymore. However, despite living off baby food in some odd attempt to get thinner and mistakenly asking her hairdresser for a big [...]

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Cheryl Cole Predictably Gets American X Factor Gig

by Mof Gimmers

What has Cheryl Cole done to get such unswerving favour from Simon Cowell? Seriously. He seems absolutely determined to make a superstar of her and it can’t solely be down to the fact she’s hard working, good looking and willing to do as she’s told. We can only imagine the horrors that lie in his [...]

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Simon Cowell Ruins Top Of The Pops Forever

by Joanna Bolouri

Simon Cowell wants stuff. Feel free to replace the word stuff with ‘EVERYTHING’. He wants big houses, flashy cars, the systematic psychological destruction of  vulnerable human beings for entertainment purposes and he probably wants that sandwich you had for lunch earlier. But what he really wants, more than anything the whole wide world is to launch his [...]

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Cheryl Cole Challenges Emma Watson To A Scrap

by Michael Park

In a shocking revelation this week, pop entity Cheryl Cole laid down the gauntlet to that lassie from Harry Potter that it’s now all right to fancy, Emma Watson. Harry Potter girl has been accused by former Girls Aloud star and alleged racist Cheryl of stealing her Style Crown, given to her by Glamour Magazine [...]

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Simon Cowell Is Still Wary Of The Completely Insane Paula Abdul

by Mof Gimmers

With The X Factor about to hit US shores (brace yourselves Americans – you won’t know what’s hit you once it gets going), every single celebrity – alive and dead – has been linked to the chairs of the judging panel. Of course, this is all great news for Simon Cowell, who is so needy [...]

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Jennifer Lopez Hasn’t Been Subjected To Cheryl Cole Yet

by Matthew Laidlow

We haven’t seen much of Jennifer Lopez recently. We tried shouting her name every night through the broken windowpane in our rancid bedsit, but we’ve had no success – only letters telling us to pipe down before someone rips out our vocal chords with a butter knife. Suddenly it dawned on us as to the [...]

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Cheryl Cole Is Stressed And Eating Sandwiches With Her Mouth

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at the hecklerspray hovel we’re really happy. In fact we’re so deliriously chipper, we’re like the Von Trapp family, with our editor Mof playing a bearded Julie Andrews and making us all clothing from curtains the last tenant threw up on. So we’d have no idea what it’s like to be stressed, unlike that [...]

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George Clooney Beats Malaria By Making Sweet, Sweet Love To It

by Mof Gimmers

Malaria never really took off as the celebrity illness du jour. Cheryl Cole had it for a while and got the tiniest violin in the world out to moan about facing death square in the face – much like Bill and Ted did in that movie. However, George Clooney’s had a dose of it and [...]

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HecklerPlay: Brit Award Nominations Announced, UK Music Curls Up And Dies

by Matthew Laidlow

Once upon a time, bands and artists were nominated for musical awards based on the merit of the audio they committed to LPs. Now, it seems that you can predict the nominees for ceremonies months in advance. Lady Gaga could release an album where she tapes herself constructing a shelf. It could sell bugger-all, but [...]

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Oh Look. It’s Another Tedious Made Up Thing That Michael Jackson Would Have Done If He Were Alive, Which He Isn’t

by Ralph Sanders

As we approach the year and a half anniversary of the death of the King Of Pop, you’d have thought that the number of stories about the tolerable, twinkle-toed man with a face like a shattered piece of primary school plaster of Paris model of the face of Bo would have begun to abate. Clearly [...]

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