Articles tagged with: cheryl cole
Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is
Right and wrong. Folded: Flashback by Calvin Harris (the definition of a ditty. Annoy yourself for liking it) Halloween: Vampires (only really frightening if you fear teenagers) Burger King ‘Tub Burger’ (or ‘Windows 7’ according to the PR. Looks delicious) Zombieland (shouldn’t be compared to Shaun of the Dead, but it will be. Plus, whisper it, it might be funnier too) Give in ...
Right and wrong. Folded: Flashback by Calvin Harris (the definition of a ditty. Annoy yourself for liking it) Halloween: Vampires (only really frightening if you fear teenagers) Burger King ‘Tub Burger’ (or ‘Windows 7’ according to the PR. Looks delicious) Zombieland (shouldn’t be compared to Shaun of the Dead, but it will be. Plus, whisper it, it might be funnier too) Give in ...
X Factor Recap: Oh Dear, That’s Ricky Loney Done For
Last night Ricky Loney was eliminated from X Factor. Hopefully you didn't form a close attachment to him. Oh, of course you didn't - he was arse-awful. But aside from that gigantic inevitability, what else happened on X Factor this weekend? Well, Whitney Houston was the guest mentor, so the theme was obviously Diva Night. We heard it was going to be Ludicrous Former Crack-Addict Hasbeens Who Need Weird-Haired Frank Butcher Lookalike Sidekicks To Keep Them Upright, but that was found to be slightly too niche. Anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do this weekend? Time for that recap you've all been waiting for...
Last night Ricky Loney was eliminated from X Factor. Hopefully you didn't form a close attachment to him. Oh, of course you didn't - he was arse-awful. But aside from that gigantic inevitability, what else happened on X Factor this weekend? Well, Whitney Houston was the guest mentor, so the theme was obviously Diva Night. We heard it was going to be Ludicrous Former Crack-Addict Hasbeens Who Need Weird-Haired Frank Butcher Lookalike Sidekicks To Keep Them Upright, but that was found to be slightly too niche. Anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do this weekend? Time for that recap you've all been waiting for...
The Cheryl Cole Won’t-Sing-Live Conundrum Solved!
Some of you might have noticed that over the course of the Rocky films, the gravel-voiced trainer with the face like a seriously chewed piece of gum never got into the ring. He'd happily bark at Sly Stallone, calling him a loser, telling him what to do, but that was it. And the reason was simple - if he'd stepped up to Apollo Creed himself, the old man would have be dead before he hit the floor. It's a story that now echoes the life of Cheryl Cole. Everyone seems to have been going bananas over the last few days, as Cole has wriggled and wormed her way out of performing her new solo song live on Saturday night's X Factor, even though she mentors a gaggle of live singers week in week out. And we all know why. She knows why. Literally everyone knows why. Yet, no one seems comfortable acknowledging that it's the right move.
Some of you might have noticed that over the course of the Rocky films, the gravel-voiced trainer with the face like a seriously chewed piece of gum never got into the ring. He'd happily bark at Sly Stallone, calling him a loser, telling him what to do, but that was it. And the reason was simple - if he'd stepped up to Apollo Creed himself, the old man would have be dead before he hit the floor. It's a story that now echoes the life of Cheryl Cole. Everyone seems to have been going bananas over the last few days, as Cole has wriggled and wormed her way out of performing her new solo song live on Saturday night's X Factor, even though she mentors a gaggle of live singers week in week out. And we all know why. She knows why. Literally everyone knows why. Yet, no one seems comfortable acknowledging that it's the right move.
WEBTHUMP! 14 October 2009
10 - Good new song alert: Need To Know by The Deer Republic - TheDeerRepublic 9 - Suri Cruise: adorable or just a liiiitle bit creepy? - Bestweekever 8 - A list about Arrested Development, which automatically makes it a very good list indeed - Interestment 7 - Some bloke we've never heard of says he's better in bed than some woman we've never heard of says he is - AmyGrindhouse
X Factor Recap: That’s Kandy Rain Gone, Then
Good news - the X Factor live finals are back! Better news - Kandy Rain were kicked off. Jesus on a stick, they were crap. But, hey, at least X Factor is back, and keeping current, too - one week after the Strictly Come Dancing racism row, Dannii Minogue decided to kick off an X Factor homophobia row of her own. We can’t wait for Dancing On Ice to return now because, if the pattern holds, Philip Schofield might just say something horrifying about Albanians. But anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do? Let’s have a wonderful recap, shall we?
Good news - the X Factor live finals are back! Better news - Kandy Rain were kicked off. Jesus on a stick, they were crap. But, hey, at least X Factor is back, and keeping current, too - one week after the Strictly Come Dancing racism row, Dannii Minogue decided to kick off an X Factor homophobia row of her own. We can’t wait for Dancing On Ice to return now because, if the pattern holds, Philip Schofield might just say something horrifying about Albanians. But anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do? Let’s have a wonderful recap, shall we?
Eau de Simon Cowell: The Stench of Exploitation
What's that smell? Could it be the subtle scent of talentless TV exploitation, the overwhelming fragrance of WAG or the clover-hinted odour of small-man's syndrome? Freshen up like a pointless media middleman with four new fragrances from X Factor. You're bound to get lucky if you smell like a TV talent show judge, and nothing says 'I love you' like rating your partner's performance in the sack. No, really, the X Factor judges are all getting their own perfumes. You'll be able to buy them in time for Christmas and everything.
What's that smell? Could it be the subtle scent of talentless TV exploitation, the overwhelming fragrance of WAG or the clover-hinted odour of small-man's syndrome? Freshen up like a pointless media middleman with four new fragrances from X Factor. You're bound to get lucky if you smell like a TV talent show judge, and nothing says 'I love you' like rating your partner's performance in the sack. No, really, the X Factor judges are all getting their own perfumes. You'll be able to buy them in time for Christmas and everything.
Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is
Holidays and mini-breaks. Folded: The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please) Slovenia (radical) Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining) Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to ...
Holidays and mini-breaks. Folded: The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please) Slovenia (radical) Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining) Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to ...
Cheryl Cole Is A Fully Dressed Spoilsport
Cheryl Cole is known for being in Girls Aloud, for marrying a rogue of a football player, and for more-often-than-not being fully dressed while in public. None of the above gives reason for anyone to take issue. Except for that wearing clothes lark. That's a pain in the bum. Not only does the singer/ TV presenter insist on conducting herself in a rather respectable manner, she's now come out and said that she would not consider doing a nude photo shoot. Elaborating that she would consider it tacky. Cheryl's assertion that she would like to remain clothed as often as possible, even in the bath, seems odd. Especially since we just made that last bit up. Not least because her girl group are often onstage clad in what closely-resembles bondage gear. Oh well. We're guessing S&M gear still technically counts as clothing.Very tight clothing that comes with a free tube of thrush medication.
Cheryl Cole is known for being in Girls Aloud, for marrying a rogue of a football player, and for more-often-than-not being fully dressed while in public. None of the above gives reason for anyone to take issue. Except for that wearing clothes lark. That's a pain in the bum. Not only does the singer/ TV presenter insist on conducting herself in a rather respectable manner, she's now come out and said that she would not consider doing a nude photo shoot. Elaborating that she would consider it tacky. Cheryl's assertion that she would like to remain clothed as often as possible, even in the bath, seems odd. Especially since we just made that last bit up. Not least because her girl group are often onstage clad in what closely-resembles bondage gear. Oh well. We're guessing S&M gear still technically counts as clothing.Very tight clothing that comes with a free tube of thrush medication.
