cher lloyd - HecklerSpray

Cher Lloyd Without Makeup

Singer Cher Lloyd started out as The X Factor UK?s brattiest contestant placing fourth. Album ?Sticks + Stones? was a top five selling album in the UK.

She then set her sights on the U.S market releasing ?Want U Back? which charted well. With lyrics such like ?this aint even jealousy, she aint got a thing on me tryin? to rock them ugly jeans? she captured the hearts of feisty boy crazy teens worldwide. Collaborations with Demi Lovato, Ne-Yo and Fifth Harmony look set to propel Cher further worldwide.

X Factor Week 11 Review: The Khaki Horror Bitch Tableau

August 5th, 2012 By Sophie Hall

Happy Halloween! Lots of love, The X Factor. And boy, what a massively inconvenient (or should we say SPOOKY) set of affairs the week offered up for Saturday Night?s show. These devastating (or should we say GHOULSOME!) happenings came in a threefold sequence throughout last week.

1. Kelly Rowland is for some reason angry and in America.
2. Rhythmix have got sued or something and now have had to change their name to LITTLE MIX which isn't as funny as ?Micheal Barrymore?s Pool Party?, ?Team Logic? or ?Sophie Habibas? but we guess it'll have to do.
3. Some bloke left either The Risk/Nu Vibe and a man from either The Risk/Nu Vibe replaced him. Maybe. We can't be sure, because we don't care.

These are the stone cold FACTS, so get use to it ? because we not entirely convinced we’re in Kansas anymore like we usually are obviously, but instead in the United Kingdom watching the X Factor despite any cognitive differences instead.

Cher Lloyd Makes Instantly Forgettable But Inevitable No.1 Called ‘With Ur Love’

October 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

After ‘Swagger Jagger’ saw release, everyone with ears hooted in derision. Cher Lloyd was the latest in a long line of pop stars showcasing the fact that, we as a species, have finally run dry of melodies.

However, against all the odds, flying in the face of decency, the track went to number one, making Crosby Stills & Nash fans cry into their morning hemp flakes.

And now Cher Lloyd is going to do it all over again with a song called ‘With Ur Love’. Sadly, the ‘Ur’ doesn’t stand of Underground Resistance. Jarring promotional video is over the jump.

Cher Lloyd Wishes Tulisa Had Mentored Her Instead Of Cheryl Cole Who She Hates

September 22nd, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

The hype that surrounds X Factor 2011 is starting to finally quieten down. Unless you live Stateside, in which case, we apologise.

We've endured the taunts and teases about which judges would step in for Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Kylie Minogue?s sister. Louis Walsh?s alleged nightclub incident could’ve seen him judging from the cells. The appointments of Tulisa and Gary Barlow made vague sense, but Kelly Rowland? She was basically the backing vocalist to Beyonce in Destiny?s Child.

Because the human race is full of bitter and twisted people, the majority of folk watching X Factor only bother with the audition stages. Here, we can prejudge people based on their appearance, clothing and back story. The judges have passed their verdict on thousands of hopefuls and now it's off to boot camp. Last year, Cher Lloyd found herself there and paired with Cheryl Cole. She might have been grateful for Cheryl?s guidance then, but times have changed. Cher would have preferred Tulisa from N-Dubz guiding her. Get your claws out.

X Factor Review, Week 4 – Part 2 Fast, 2 Furious

August 5th, 2012 By Sophie Hall

Right. RIGHT. So, the X Factor is still on.

Here are the opening titles. Here?s Dermot O Leary?s voice hurriedly aired in from Skype. It's time to face the music. No, not time to face the music and dance. You are mistaken. Just time to face the music.? Just maintain eye contact with the music until you start feeling uncomfortable and?embarrassed?and just want to go home.

Look, there’s an X Factor helicopter.?Okay, so let’s talk about X Factor helicopters.

Cher Lloyd Is A Monster, According To The Monstrous Louis Walsh

August 24th, 2011 By Michael Park

On hecklerspray, as in life, sometimes it is necessary to choose sides. Sometimes it’s easy and you can choose a party who has been cheated on or lied to and who isn’t acting like an overgrown baby about every little thing.

Then sometimes you just have to choose the lesser of two evils.

When it’s a straight shoot-out between argumentative Kenneth Williams impersonator Louis Walsh and pint-sized “hater” hater and Swagger Jagger inflicter Cher Lloyd the lines become blurred and shades of grey begin to set in. Eventually we just had to be loyal and consider who we’d hated the longest.

Incredibly Long Unnecessary Review Of X Factor 2011, Episode 1

August 5th, 2012 By Sophie Hall

It has been 8 months now, since we all obligingly sat down with a couple of friends, some choice lunch meats, and self loathing, and watched Matt Cardle furiously leaking into his corduroy jeans.

Oh, and won X Factor 2010.

Some would say the healing process after viewing this will need a considerably longer time frame. Every daily tabloid feature for the entire of 2011 would possibly argue otherwise. Yes, that’s it. X Factor is certifiably, and unequivocally ?BACK?. Which is just as well, because the hysteria over rivals down at C5 Celebrity Big Brother completely died the moment Kerry Katona earnestly admitted to Brian Dowling that her ?life has been a rollercoaster?.

Cher Lloyd Admires Tulisa’s Balls

August 5th, 2011 By Kris Silver

Cher Lloyd, you remember her don't you? She's that one what didn't win the X Factor and is still famous for some reason despite not having actually done anything to earn it.

Well, she's back in the news this week after accusing new X Factor judge Tulisa off of the N-Dubz of secretly being a hermaphrodite.

Lloyd was quoted as saying that Contos? Contstav? Tulisa has, ?got balls,? a revelation that is sure to send the N-Dubz star nuts.

Cher Lloyd Ignores Her Stylists Because They, Like Everyone Else, Are Haters

July 27th, 2011 By Michael Park

It is a fact, passed down through from hecklerspray writer to hecklerspray writer that if ever someone utters the words “haters gonna hate” or any other variation on that theme that they have automatically marked themselves out as a hateful figure. Therefore it is easy to imagine the vehement feelings of anger that course through our collective veins every time we hear from representatives of the Cher Lloyd ‘Anti-Hater Brigade’.

Is Cher Lloyd a hateful figure? Probably not. After all, she’s just a lassie singing some songs and making a wee bit of money. There’s nothing inherently hateful in that, is there?

That being said, Pope Gregory VII wasn’t an inherently hateful figure either but he also initiated a crusade against another kind of “hater”, the Muslims in the Middle East and look how that ended up. Largely with a lot more Christians and, if young Cher has her way, her own crusade will leave us with a lot more Cher Lloyd fans. So perhaps Swagger Jagger and its inevitable follow-ups will kill more people than the crusades.

Cher Lloyd Hates People With Opinions. Except Example.

July 12th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Last week our editor Mof made us all listen to Cher Lloyd’s ‘Swagger Jagger‘ causing a mixture of great sadness, violent outbursts?and?uncontrollable bleeding throughout the hecklerspray bedsit. ?Not a pretty sight.

So you can imagine our horror when we found out that another video has surfaced where she’s still attempting to convince us all she’s a really brilliant pop star by letting noises fall out of her mouth again while some poor fella is forced (paid) to play the guitar beside her in black and white.

We’ll let you be the judge of her new single ‘Superhero’ below but it seems that Cher cannot take any form of?criticism?whatsoever and is determined to answer critics on Twitter personally in some brattish attempt to get the last word.