Articles tagged with: Cher
Cher’s Gay Daughter To Surgically Become Cher’s Straight Son
We've heard a time or two that it's difficult to be gay. Not only do you have to drink from separate drinking fountains in California, but there's all that chaffing in really crazy places. Both of those factors may have contributed to Cher's daughter Chastity deciding to become Cher's son Chaz. Let us be clear in stating that we don't know for sure why Chastity/Chaz is going under the genital-hungry knife. We suspect it's probably because she just doesn't want to be gay anymore, and a patch-work penis is her only way to the front of the bus.
We've heard a time or two that it's difficult to be gay. Not only do you have to drink from separate drinking fountains in California, but there's all that chaffing in really crazy places. Both of those factors may have contributed to Cher's daughter Chastity deciding to become Cher's son Chaz. Let us be clear in stating that we don't know for sure why Chastity/Chaz is going under the genital-hungry knife. We suspect it's probably because she just doesn't want to be gay anymore, and a patch-work penis is her only way to the front of the bus.
Batman 3: Cher Is Catwoman, So Feel Free To Gag
There's never been a perfect Catwoman, and that's because no Catwoman has ever straddled a cannon and bellowed If I Could Turn Back Time with her arse out. But that's potentially going to change with the release of Batman 3, or whatever the sequel to The Dark Knight is going to be called. That's because, according to The Mirror, Christopher Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman is none other than 62-year-old surgically modified warbler Cher. Phew, and to think that Angelina Jolie was almost Catwoman, too. That would have just been sick.
There's never been a perfect Catwoman, and that's because no Catwoman has ever straddled a cannon and bellowed If I Could Turn Back Time with her arse out. But that's potentially going to change with the release of Batman 3, or whatever the sequel to The Dark Knight is going to be called. That's because, according to The Mirror, Christopher Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman is none other than 62-year-old surgically modified warbler Cher. Phew, and to think that Angelina Jolie was almost Catwoman, too. That would have just been sick.
Man Forbidden From Touching Cher, Requests Incarceration
Also, one day we'd really like to touch Cher - if we plan things right we can do it seconds before we touch that soap if you know what we mean. Some drunk in a bar was pretty set on touching her recently - he tried a whole bunch of times.
But alas, destiny was not in his favor, and she stabbed his throat instead.
She didn't stab him. We reiterate - Cher has never stabbed anybody. How could she? Her adult granddaughter was using the steak knife to cut Cher's meat into more age-friendly sizes.
hecklerspray is on a waiting list three-years long for the privilege of touching some soap that's said to have once washed the velvety-nethers of Louis Farrakhan during the million man march.
Also, one day we'd really like to touch Cher - if we plan things right we can do it seconds before we touch that soap if you know what we mean. Some drunk in a bar was pretty set on touching her recently - he tried a whole bunch of times.
But alas, destiny was not in his favor, and she stabbed his throat instead.
She didn't stab him. We reiterate - Cher has never stabbed anybody. How could she? Her adult granddaughter was using the steak knife to cut Cher's meat into more age-friendly sizes.
Cher can cut her own meat. We reiterate - Cher can cut her own meat.
