Articles tagged with: cheat
Peter Cook Blames Christie Brinkley For Him Shagging That Girl
This just in - Peter Cook is a legend. An absolute dyed-in-the-wool cast iron legend that every man on Earth should regard as a hero. Why? Because even though Peter Cook's supermodel wife Christie Brinkley recently divorced him after he a) had it off with a teenager he met in a toystore and b) started spending $3,000 a month on internet pornography, Peter Cook says that the divorce was absolutely not his fault at all. Better still, Peter Cook blames the divorce squarely on Christie Brinkley, because she didn't thank him for being him as much as he wanted. Peter Cook said all this in an interview with Barbara Walters in an effort to stop him being branded as a "scumbag pervert." And we're pretty sure he's got his wish - we believe the term is "egomaniac scumbag pervert dimwit" now.
This just in - Peter Cook is a legend. An absolute dyed-in-the-wool cast iron legend that every man on Earth should regard as a hero. Why? Because even though Peter Cook's supermodel wife Christie Brinkley recently divorced him after he a) had it off with a teenager he met in a toystore and b) started spending $3,000 a month on internet pornography, Peter Cook says that the divorce was absolutely not his fault at all. Better still, Peter Cook blames the divorce squarely on Christie Brinkley, because she didn't thank him for being him as much as he wanted. Peter Cook said all this in an interview with Barbara Walters in an effort to stop him being branded as a "scumbag pervert." And we're pretty sure he's got his wish - we believe the term is "egomaniac scumbag pervert dimwit" now.
David Blaine Idiot Update: He Won’t Pee On Himself For You
We take back everything we ever said about David Blaine - staying upside down for 60 hours is an incredible feat of endurance. At least we presume it is. And David Blaine probably presumes the same thing, too, because it's not like he'd know what being upside down for 60 hours is actually like or anything. You see, it's emerged that David Blaine actually gives himself two 10-minute breaks every hour where he can drop to the ground and have a bit of a rest. Why? Because - and this is true - David Blaine finds weeing upside down slightly uncomfortable. Still, never one to bow to his detractors, David Blaine will end his stunt tonight and immediately begin training for his next stunning feat of endurance. We hear it involves him spending 45 minutes in a luxury hotel suite being fed peeled grapes by a cluster of top supermodels while Angelina Jolie occasionally dabs single beads of sweat from his brow with a tuft of unicorn fur. Truly, that man is a machine.
We take back everything we ever said about David Blaine - staying upside down for 60 hours is an incredible feat of endurance. At least we presume it is. And David Blaine probably presumes the same thing, too, because it's not like he'd know what being upside down for 60 hours is actually like or anything. You see, it's emerged that David Blaine actually gives himself two 10-minute breaks every hour where he can drop to the ground and have a bit of a rest. Why? Because - and this is true - David Blaine finds weeing upside down slightly uncomfortable. Still, never one to bow to his detractors, David Blaine will end his stunt tonight and immediately begin training for his next stunning feat of endurance. We hear it involves him spending 45 minutes in a luxury hotel suite being fed peeled grapes by a cluster of top supermodels while Angelina Jolie occasionally dabs single beads of sweat from his brow with a tuft of unicorn fur. Truly, that man is a machine.
Jennifer Aniston Still a ‘Lady’, John Mayer Keeps Moths in His Wallet
John Mayer has, rather unsurprisingly, been using his breakup with Jennifer Aniston to get himself a nice big slice of publicity. It's not that we didn't expect him to go down that route, but it does still irritate when it actually happens. After all, he is still a dull nobody that would have faded into obscurity had he kept his mouth shut about the relationship and consequent split. So obviously he's gone for the old 'talk about her to the press in an annoying fashion, just so people don't forget who I am for at least two extra weeks, and places like that amazing hecklerspray.com will write about me again' route that so many ineffectual Z-listers opt for. Well we won't, John Mayer. We wo... oh. We have. Bugger.
John Mayer has, rather unsurprisingly, been using his breakup with Jennifer Aniston to get himself a nice big slice of publicity. It's not that we didn't expect him to go down that route, but it does still irritate when it actually happens. After all, he is still a dull nobody that would have faded into obscurity had he kept his mouth shut about the relationship and consequent split. So obviously he's gone for the old 'talk about her to the press in an annoying fashion, just so people don't forget who I am for at least two extra weeks, and places like that amazing hecklerspray.com will write about me again' route that so many ineffectual Z-listers opt for. Well we won't, John Mayer. We wo... oh. We have. Bugger.
Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo Still Refusing To Die With Dignity
It's been eight or nine seconds since our last Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo update, so you're probably flapping about like a cold turkey junkie desperate for more. No? You're not? Your interest in Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's relationship is completely casual and you can stop reading about them any time you want? Stop kidding yourself, you've got a problem. Listen, if you're not addicted to Jessica Simpson news, then try not to read the next paragraph. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo were spotted out eating dinner last weekend, prompting speculation that their relationship is back on. Yeah, that's right. We knew you'd read it. And we haven't even got to the part about Jessica Simpson apparently cheating on Tony Romo with Jared Leto, either. Addict.
It's been eight or nine seconds since our last Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo update, so you're probably flapping about like a cold turkey junkie desperate for more. No? You're not? Your interest in Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's relationship is completely casual and you can stop reading about them any time you want? Stop kidding yourself, you've got a problem. Listen, if you're not addicted to Jessica Simpson news, then try not to read the next paragraph. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo were spotted out eating dinner last weekend, prompting speculation that their relationship is back on. Yeah, that's right. We knew you'd read it. And we haven't even got to the part about Jessica Simpson apparently cheating on Tony Romo with Jared Leto, either. Addict.
Amy Winehouse: Now There’s Another Amybanger
We'll say this about Amy Winehouse - sure, she might look as if she's woefully incapacitated by heavy drug use, but she sure can put it around. After reports emerged that she's been cheating on incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil with a dull-looking boy and a lank-haired photographer, now it's claimed that Amy Winehouse has also been secretly sleeping with one of Babyshambles as well. Don't worry, though - the good news is that Amy's new lover isn't Pete Doherty, sparing us all a mental image so profoundly upsetting that it'd put us off all human contact ever again. But the bad news is that it's Mik Whitnall, the member of Babyshambles who most closely resembles Bez's grandfather after three straight months of 24-style interro-torture.
We'll say this about Amy Winehouse - sure, she might look as if she's woefully incapacitated by heavy drug use, but she sure can put it around. After reports emerged that she's been cheating on incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil with a dull-looking boy and a lank-haired photographer, now it's claimed that Amy Winehouse has also been secretly sleeping with one of Babyshambles as well. Don't worry, though - the good news is that Amy's new lover isn't Pete Doherty, sparing us all a mental image so profoundly upsetting that it'd put us off all human contact ever again. But the bad news is that it's Mik Whitnall, the member of Babyshambles who most closely resembles Bez's grandfather after three straight months of 24-style interro-torture.
Amy Winehouse Also Did It With A Snapper, Apparently
Hey, are you sick of being forced to think of Amy Winehouse's grisly genitals in action yet? Yeah, us too. But come on. Take a deep breath, hunker down for the next couple of minutes and we'll all get through this together. It might take some strength of mind and a couple of months of group counselling afterwards, but we'll be OK. Ready? Good. Amy Winehouse has apparently been - urg - having sex. With someone who isn't her husband or that new bloke she's been dragging around lately. Amy Winehouse has apparently been having sex with - gleurgh - a long-haired American photographer. And it's all the fault of - huuurrrgh - Kelly Osbourne. If you need us we'll be puking and crying at the same time in the corner.
Hey, are you sick of being forced to think of Amy Winehouse's grisly genitals in action yet? Yeah, us too. But come on. Take a deep breath, hunker down for the next couple of minutes and we'll all get through this together. It might take some strength of mind and a couple of months of group counselling afterwards, but we'll be OK. Ready? Good. Amy Winehouse has apparently been - urg - having sex. With someone who isn't her husband or that new bloke she's been dragging around lately. Amy Winehouse has apparently been having sex with - gleurgh - a long-haired American photographer. And it's all the fault of - huuurrrgh - Kelly Osbourne. If you need us we'll be puking and crying at the same time in the corner.
Cheryl Cole Does A Runner From Ashley
You have to this for Cheryl Cole - at least she's got her dignity.
Sure, Cheryl may have stuck with Ashley Cole even though she knew he was cheating on her with a bunch of women, and only decided to leave him because she was embarrassed that the papers eventually found out, but apart from that Cheryl Cole's still got her dignity. And she once sang a song called Racey Lacey, but apart from that Cheryl's got dignity coming out of her wazoo.
Cheryl Cole's left Ashley Cole by the way. We think that was our original point.
