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Hey Matt Cardle, You Could Be Just Like Joe McElderry!

by Matthew Laidlow

This morning, Matt Cardle will have woken up with the worst hangover in the world and a sticky hand after fingering multiple X-Factor backing dancers and groupies. However, we only need to cast our minds back to this time one year ago when we found ourselves in the exact same situation. Geordie Joe McElderry had [...]

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The X Factor Is Rigged Part 629: Treyc Had Three Times The Vote Of Katie

by Mof Gimmers

Oh, you’re going to love this! That, or you’ll be bored. Or nonplussed. Whatever. You’ll definitely have some, or no response to some news about The X Factor. Okay? We’re cool now? Good. When you’re in London, you’re only ever three feet away from someone saying that you’re three feet away from a rat and, [...]

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X Factor’s Katie Waissel Is A Lesson In How To Be Unpopular

by Mof Gimmers

We all know that The X Factor is a big con, right? It’s poised and scripted to within an inch of its life. And in the thick of the scripts, there’s always been a definite feeling of certain acts who have the air of ‘ear-marked to win, for the sake of a narrative’. One such [...]

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Matt Cardle Becomes X Factor Favourite And Strangely, Girlfriend Comes Back To Him

by Ralph Sanders

Well, would you credit it? You wait for ages for a story about your favourite X Factor contestant, Matt Cardigan, to come along and them out of the blue you get two completely unrelated things appearing about him. Odd that. First up, is that since the competition has started and everyone has finally started to [...]

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X Factor Reject Storm Lee To Get His Own Series?

by Michael Park

STORM LEE TO GET OWN SERIES! Yes, you read that right. X Factor’s Scoterican Sting-alike outcast Storm Lee is to be given his very own cartoon series by production company BST. Edinburgh-born Storm (born a baby and called Lee Gardner) is said to be delighted to have been chosen out of the rejected contestants so [...]

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Outrage As People Keep Wagner On The X Factor And Cheryl Cole Mimes! Did We Mention Outrage?

by Mof Gimmers

It’s ludicrous that people watch The X Factor and expect to see a singing contest. It has been on television long enough for everyone to know exactly what it is all about – and that’s putting bums on sofas in front of the television. No more, no less. It’s as music based as WWE is [...]

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Facebook Versus X-Factor Christmas Number One! The Battle Starts Now!

by Matthew Laidlow

If you despise pop culture, then Facebook and X-Factor should be depressing you to the extent of rubbing sandpaper across your face. Facebook was once simply a tool used by people to send simple messages, get poked and plan events. Now it seems that groups are started to launch hate vendettas or start a meaningless [...]

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X Factor Caught Up In Fix Row After Tesco Thrown Money At Mary Byrne

by Mof Gimmers

Mary Byrne is not a new televisual sensation. There’s a lot of people out there who thrill every time she sings on The X Factor because they’ve convinced themselves that, because she’s older/bigger-boned/not particularly good looking, she’s somehow ‘realer’ and more talented than the other contestants on the show. The sad truth of the matter [...]

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X Factor’s Chloe Mafia Will Take Her Clothes Off For Money But Will Not Have Intercourse With You, Okay?

by Mof Gimmers

You know that girl who was on The X Factor who looked like she was related to the Cuprinol Man? Yeah. The prostitute one called Chloe Mafia. Well, we’ve got bad news for you – you can’t say ‘the prostitute one’ now because she isn’t a prostitute. Of course, you can imply she’s a lady [...]

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X Factor Promotes Prostitution With Chloe Mafia (And hecklerspray Worries About Rates Going Up)

by Mof Gimmers

The X Factor at the weekend went even further into being the British version of WWE, with back stage brouhaha, oddly torsoed greased up pig-men and of course, accusations of being one massive con. The ‘big’ ‘story’ of the show wasn’t concerning anyone of noticeable singing prowess, but rather, the appearance of Chloe Victoria (or [...]

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