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The Famous Ones From Glee Are Leaving, Which Means You’ll Stop Watching It

July 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Massive news. Seriously. Forget all that News Corp guff. This is the biggie. Honest it is. We’re literally coming down with a dose of The News. Basically, Bigger Than The Beatles, Glee, is going to lose its two biggest stars.

Stars that just happened to be shaped exactly like Lea Michele and Cory Monteith. And someone called Chris Colfer.

This trio are going to make a hasty exit at the end of season three, presumably getting off before people grow tired of the show and stop watching it. Which you will. Despite what you say, you’ll soon give up on it and say “it’s not as good as it used to be”, despite the format remaining exactly the same forever and ever, amen.

Glee’s Cory Monteith Used To Be An Interesting Drug-Taker

June 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The collective stars of Glee are so clean-cut and boring that they’re almost Teflon for interest. Seriously. The only thing of note about them is when they take their tops off or cover a song which irritates pooh-poohing rock fans (the latter is always particularly funny as musos deserve everything they get).

However, this hasn’t always been the case. You see, All-American Biegeheart, Cory Monteith, used to be much more interesting.

You see, he had a drug problem in his past! In fact, so bad was his druggery that his pals thought it might kill him! So was he a ravaged heroin addict, robbing bodegas at gun-point and selling off his parent’s belongings to fund his dastardly habit?

Glee: Vanishing From Your Television Soon And Off To Die In A Corner

May 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! Adults! Like watching children’s programmes filled with hideous, soul-sapping, nine million part harmonies, systematically destroying all those pop songs you love? Then, chances are, you like watching Glee and consider yourself to be a member of the corporate-designed clan of The Gleek.

Well, for people like us who like laughing at people like you, we’ve got some wonderful news! Glee is no longer going to be on your television.

That’s right, Glee won’t be shown on E4 after parent company Channel 4 decided to walk away from negotiations for the forthcoming series, leaving the show to Do A Richard & Judy. That basically means that it’ll slope off toward the blank chequebook of Sky, watched on television by a scant handful of people, leaving those who can really be bothered to stream it illegally online. Essentially, the show is about to die, which is brilliant news.

No Hook-Ups On Glee Confirm Wheezingly Boring Stars Of The Show

May 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Take one look at the folks who star in Glee, and you just know that they’re the most criminally dull, healthy living, good Christian Americans that could bore a factory filled with glass eyes into a Rip Van Winkle coma, forever.

That said, behind the dozy eyes of Apple Pie celebrities, you imagine that they get up to the most debauched, sordid filth imaginable, right? Look at the alumni of Disney. They’re the dirtiest pigs on Earth.

However, Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison have gone and delivered the backstage gossip on the Glee cast and it is woefully dull.

Glee: The Movie Announced To Completely Ruin Your Day

May 5th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

What do you want most in life? Your two front teeth? Get lost. We’re not dentists. You’ll get what you’re given and show fake gratitude. And your present is the grisly prospect of Glee: The Movie. That’s right. A hundred shrill voices in unison, pumping out of a cinema PA at skin searing volume.

What more could you ask for in life, other than a no frills package holiday to Dignitas?

So what will this Glee movie entail? Will it be exactly like the series, only longer, more expensive looking and featuring more cameos? Or do the Glee kids indulge in a bit of Spring Break boozing and lesbianism in the name of getting some cheap beads while the lads chest bump and fall to the floor, shirtless in a Women In Love embrace?

Fleetwood Mac Spread Their Cokey Rumours All Over Glee

May 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Fleetwood Mac are more soap opera than band. They’ve taken so much cocaine that even listening to one of their LPs will erode your septum, leaving you looking like Michael Jackson in a sauna.

It is because of this that they still transfix us all. They’ve made some cool tunes, all had ill-advised sex with each other and generally disappeared up their own anuses for us all to titter at.

And now, they’ve made a little history (not seismic history you understand, rather, a slither of TV trivia) by becoming the first group to have an episode entirely devoted to one of their albums. Of course, no-one is stupid enough to devote a whole show to Tusk or Tango In The Night. We’re talking about Rumours, obviously.

Androids Get Angry As Extra Reveals Glee Prom King And Queen

April 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

There is something monumentally sinister about Glee. Those grinning, android toothed apple pies, all good-looking but slightly quirky, blankly staring down camera and hitting you with melodies so in-tune, that it feels like you’ve wandered into robot heaven.

Only without the fun circuit board jamming that they’ll actually have in robot heaven.

Of course, there’s something sinister about those that watch Glee as well. Those poor, wretched, hallowed out individuals that glare at their television sets, singing along to the songs they’ve heard somewhere before, in the time they had a life of friends and parties, now replaced by a toothy, thin girl, emoting one off all over the screen. And now someone has gone and popped the bubble by leaking a major bit of plot and everyone is slowly rising to their feet in anger – the first emotion they have felt since Glee swallowed them up.

Blasphemous Dave Grohl Knocks Glee

March 18th, 2011 By Michael Park

Dave Grohl’s a nice guy isn’t he? That huge grinning tooth mouth of his! That fun time Charlie who never has a bad word to say about anyone, ever! Unless you’re Courtney Love that is. Sweet Jesus, he really hates her.

Now hideous, blaspheming supposed nice-guy Dave Grohl has slammed the creator of the?greatest television show on Earth, GLEE by basically calling him a whining, simpering git with a God-complex. Which is apparently quite rude!

Ryan Murphy’s incredible sing-a-long comedy which is notable for containing only one funny character has so far worked over the likes of Britney Spears, Madonna, Katy Perry, Journey, Queen and The Beatles. The Glee lynchpins had been expected to add the Foo Fighters to that long list of musical luminaries but Grohl’s distaste for the show and its creator have put a pin in that idea.

Glee Now Officially Better Than Elvis Presley

February 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Glee is rampant and unstoppable! First, we got the chance to announce that Glee was officially better than The Beatles and now, they’ve gone and swiped the crown of Elvis Presley! Elvis is no longer king! Poor old dead Elvis. It’s not really fair is it? He can’t defend himself from the grave now that Glee are officially better than him.

That’s right kiddiekins, despite the fact Glee only appeared on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in June 2009, in that short time, they’ve already eclipsed Elvis in every way.

Glee has rewritten the record books for most charted songs by an act in the list’s 52-year archives. The cast of Glee haven’t even got close to being massively obese and addicted to all manner of colon rotting prescription drugs!

Cast Of Glee To Appear On The X Factor – Rejoice/Kill Yourself Now!

November 25th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Next week, two televisual giants are teaming up in a move that will probably result in something so massive that Twitter kills itself or, y’know, it’ll be vaguely disappointing. We’re hoping that the results are so baffling that the world finds a need to invent a new emotion to deal with it all.

And what is it? Well, for one night, the cast of Glee will be performing live on The X Factor semi-finals results show.

You know what this proves further? That Glee is better than The Beatles, because Glee is higher up the billing! HA! Take that fans of Brian Wilson!