And guess what? That movie is being made. According to reports, Charlize Theron and Tom Cruise are set to team up for an adaptation of French movie The Tourist, with a script written by Oscar-winning writer Julian Fellowes.

Without knowing too much about The Tourist, it’s safe to say that Tom Cruise is still after that Oscar. It seems clear to us that Tom is only making the movie to glean Oscar-winning tips from Fellowes and Theron, and then put them to use in his next movie – which we’re expecting to be about a dirty-faced, slightly disfigured woman played by Tom Cruise who talks in lots of half sentences over himself all the time.

If we were Tom Cruise – which we assume we’re not because we aren’t rich and we don’t need a stepladder to kiss normal-sized girls on the cheek – then we’d be signing up for movies all over the shop at the moment.

Tom’s Nazi movie Valkyrie could go one way or the other – its release date has been ominously shuffled about all over the place, but its trailer does look pretty spiffy – and if it does end up doing a Lions For Lambs, Tom will need to have as many other movies on the go as possible. That way he can still have a career as an actor instead of committing himself fully to being a silly little lunatic who believes in aliens.

And, to his credit, that seems to be what Tom Cruise is doing. He’s already lined up his next film, and the omens look good. It’s The Tourist, a movie about a normal member of the public who’s coerced by a spy to help flush out oh for God’s sake it’s The Man With One Red Shoe isn’t it? Nice one Tom Cruise. What next? A high-remake of The Burbs?

Anyway, let’s not lose hope entirely, because The Tourist sounds like a very highbrow remake of The Man With One Red Shoe, as Tom Cruise’s co-star will be Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron and they’ll be working from a script by Oscar-winning writer Julian Fellowes. Ropeofsilicon reports:

The Tourist, the Bharat Nalluri-directed remake of the 2005 French thriller Anthony Zimmer, is shaping up nicely as Charlize Theron is now in negotiations to join the cast. The flick will feature Theron as a female Interpol agent who uses an American tourist in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair. Obviously, Cruise is the tourist.

OK, so The Tourist is a thriller. That doesn’t help much. What we need to know is if this is a flashy blockbuster-style thriller, or if it’s a gritty indie-style thriller. Knowing that would really help, because we’ve got a formula to tell whether it’ll be any good or not. For instance:

LOW BUDGET INDIE:

Charlize Theron will disappear into her role, taking on a brave physical transformation for the sake of visceral realism.

Tom Cruise will try to disappear into his role, but still end up looking and acting like Tom Cruise.

BIG BUDGET BLOCKBUSTER

Charlize Theron’s character will be 85% shiny hair to 15% tits and it’ll be revealed that she and Tom Cruise have been lovers throughout history five minutes from the end even though that makes zero sense to any of the rest of the film.

Tom Cruise will spend the entire movie running as fast as he can while pulling a face that makes him look like he’s straining for a poo.

We only hope the producers have taken these calculations into consideration.

It’s not exactly the first thing you look for in a potential girlfriend, is it? You don’t spend a lot of your first dates comparing biceps and arm-wrestling, do you? Do you?! But in Movieland, that’s a different story. We just can’t get enough of them. And if she looks hot while she’s doing it, even better.

Well, Hecklerspray has come up yet another list of sexy movie babes for you to delight over. Now, selecting a list of all the hot women who ever appeared in action movies was always going to be tough call. There are so many action films, and picking some girl who was basically the love interest throughout the entire film and whose sole role was to scream a lot would not be right.

So we tried to restrict them down to ones who are the leading characters and were also hard as nails.
Not so much femme fatales, but lethal ladies. We ask two questions: Are they hard? Do they make you hard? That’s the only criteria. Oh, and are they strong female role models? Or something like that.

The other problem is: how do you define an action movie? Arguably any movie involves some kind of movement. Unless it’s a Gus Van Sant film, that is. Well, we have tried to restrict it to movies which at least needed some kind of rigorous training schedule and martial arts work to prepare for the role. Not the greatest criteria, admittedly, which probably explains why there are lot of selections on this list which could easily settle into other genres.

Anyway, enjoy!

26. Charlize Theron
Notable action movie appearance: Aeon Flux (2005)

Terrible film, but Theron looked amazing.

25. Linda Hamilton
Notable action movie appearances: Terminator series (1984-1991)

OK, she looks like she has a small dog on top of her head, but she is certainly one bad-ass mother (of the saviour of mankind).

24. Liv Tyler
Notable action movie apperance: Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003)

All right, we admit her portrayal of Elvish princess Arwen is not exactly action-packed. In fact, she spends most of it flouncing around in a long dress looking all sincere. But there is no doubt she looks really cute in pointy ears.

23. Natasha Henstridge
Notable action movie appearance: Species (1995), Species 2 (1998)

She plays a really hot alien desperate to mate with any human man as soon as possible. What’s not to like?
Not exactly girlfriend material though. She has a bit of a jealous streak and is prone to ripping people’s spines out as soon as she’s done.

22. Rhona Mitra
Notable action movie appearances: Underworld 3 (2009), Doomsday (2008)

Just the women to step into Kate Beckinsale’s leathers. Simply stunning.

21. Kristanna Loken
Notable action movie appearance: Terminator 3 (2003)

OK, the movie sucked really bad, but the sight of Loken in red leather was worth the admission alone.

20. Jennifer Garner
Notable action movie appearance: Daredevil (2003), Elektra (2005)

Once again, both films sucked, but Jennifer Garner is always worth looking at.

Joint 19. Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore
Notable action movie appearances: Charlie’s Angels I and II (2001-2003)

Now that’s a threesome I think we’d all appreciate. One for everyone’s tastes.

18. Megan Fox
Notable action movie appearance: Transformers (2007)

OK, we admit it, she’s not exactly an all-action heroine in the movie Transformers, but we could not resist sticking her in.

17. Gina Gershon
Notable movie appearance: Bound (1996)

Apparently, Gina boxed Bob Dylan to prepare for her role as Corky, a tough, lesbian ex-con. Not sure old Bob put up much of a fight, but it certainly got her in shape.

16. Leonor Varela
Notable action movie appearance: Blade 2 (2002)

What is it about women who wants to suck you dry?

Joint 15: Jordana Brewster, Sara Foster, Devon Aoki, Jill Ritchie and Meagan Good
Notable action movie appearance: D.E.B.S (2004)

We couldn’t decide which one to put in, so opted for all of them. If you have never seen D.E.B.S it’s about a group of scantily-clad schoolgirls who are trained to be bloodthirsty, gun-toting assassins. Genius.

14. Meiko Kaji
Notable action movie appearances: Lady Snowblood (1973) and loads more

A lady not to be messed with – and hard as nails too. Her films, such as the brilliant Lady Snowblood, inspired Kill Bill.

13. Ziyi Zhang
Notable action movie appearance: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000), Hero (2002)

Well, she certainly knows how to handle a weapon.

12. Anne Parillaud
Notable action movie appearance: Nikita (1990)

Incredibly sexy French actress is given a license to thrill in Nikita.

11. Rose McGowan
Notable action movie appearance: Planet Terror (2008)

Sexiest thing on, errrr, one leg.

10. Michelle Yeoh
Notable action movie appearance: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000), Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

A Bond girl who could actually handle herself – perfect.

9. Carrie Fisher
Notable action movie appearance: Star Wars trilogy (1977-1983)

Gold bikini – need we say any more.

8. Michelle Rodriguez
Notable action movie appearance: S.W.A.T (2003), Resident Evil (2002)

Killing her off in Lost just about killed off our interest in the show.

7. Jessica Alba
Notable action movie appearance: Fantastic Four I and II

Made her name in Dark Angel and has to be one of the sexiest women alive today.

6. Carrie-Anne Moss
Notable action movie appearances: The Matrix trilogy (1999-2003)

Named her after The Hollies‘ 1967 hit song, she certainly hits all the right notes. OK, we know that was terrible.

5. Sigourney Weaver
Notable action movie appearances: Alien series (1979-1997)

Not to everyone’s tastes, but no list about bad-ass action babes would be complete without Ripley.

4. Milla Jovovich
Notable action movie appearances: The Fifth Element, Resident Evil I (2002) and II (2007)

Everyone loves Milla time.

3. Kate Beckinsale
Notable action movie appearances: Underworld I and II (2003-2006)

Kate Beckinsale in a tight leather body suit, need we say any more?

2. Uma Thurman
Notable action movie appearance: Kill Bill (2003-2004)

Is it just us or does she get better and better with age?

1. Angelina Jolie
Notable action movie appearances: Lara Croft I and II (2001-2003), Wanted (2008)

Anyone who disagrees with our choice of number one should take a look ather in the grey swim suit. That’s all that needs to be said.

Vague, we know, but it's as concrete as it gets. According to the LAPD, Charlize Theron's home was broken into at some point between last Thursday and Saturday, but nobody seems to know what was taken, if anything. Still, we're sure Charlize Theron will use her natural resourcefulness to turn this possible almost-burglary into something positive. Maybe Charlize will dramatise her supposed vaguely-timed not-quite burglary and turn it into a movie. She might even win an Oscar for it, too, so long as she promises to not wear any make-up and scowl a bit in the trailer.

These days, no celebrity in Hollywood is safe. Their house could burn down like Flea's or get swamped with mud like Eddie Van Halen's. They could be photographed on the beach with a big arse like Jennifer Love-Hewitt or – worse – they could find themselves starring alongside Ice Cube in a family comedy about basic household maintenance.

Or they could be burgled like Charlize Theron. if she did get burgled. Which we're not sure of. Or when it happened, if indeed it happened at all.

The LAPD have revealed, in just about the most confusing terms possible, that Charlize Theron might have been burgled at some point last week when she wasn't there, and nobody knows if anything was taken or anything. Neighbours have said they didn't see anything suspicious and Charlize Theron hasn't revealed any further details through her slaves. Or, in the words of an LAPD media relations officer:

"We have been able to confirm we are in fact handling an investigation that happened at her home. The home was secured on the 6th, and it was discovered it was broken into on the 8th. There were no suspects seen by any of the neighbors. The property that was taken, if any, is unknown at this time."

This is a mystery and no mistake. Who could have broken into Charlize Theron's house? Embittered James Bond producers acting out revenge for Charlize turning down Casino Royale? Raymond Weil representatives hell-bent on looting the place for the money they lost when Charlize Theron didn't wear a Raymond Weil watch once? A nutter?

One thing's for sure, though, the culprits definitely weren't British bloggers who decided to ape the Nicolas Cage incident by strolling around Charlize Theron's home naked save for one item of her own clothing in the hope that Charlize would stumble across the pathetically sexually-bewildered intruders and, in spite of the inherent creepiness of the scene, fall in love with us forever.

Them. Fall in love with them forever. Look, we didn't do it, OK?

Read more:

Charlize Theron Robbed! - E! Online