Charlie Sheen - HecklerSpray

Now Rihanna Is Fighting With TLC (And Winning)

June 10th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Lately, it seems like Rihanna has spent more effort fighting with fellow famous people than putting on a bra or looking sober.? Just recently, she was fighting with Charlie Sheen after he called her out on Twitter for not meeting up with his porn star fianc?e.? Rihanna did it in a much funnier, more tongue in cheek way than Sheen, which is good because one can only handle so much incoherent rambling.

But fighting with the Warlock wasn’t enough, and now Rihanna has hit back at TLC after the girls allegedly talked shit about Rihanna’s constant need to show off her nipples in public.? And kudos for her, because she once again made me choke on my Franzia.

7 Celebs Who Will Really Enjoy St. Patrick’s Day

March 17th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

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St. Patrick’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year, because it’s not often that it’s 100% acceptable to start drinking at 9am and keep drinking for two days straight (at least). Well, that’s how it is where I’m from anyway. The point is, St. Patrick’s Day is the perfect holiday for people who like to drink. I mean, unlike other holidays, the only tradition people really engage in on St. Patrick’s Day is getting too drunk to function.

I love St. Patrick’s Day well enough, because who doesn’t like a holiday dedicated to eating, drinking, and being merry? But there are definitely some people who are going to enjoy a holiday dedicated to getting wasted waaaaay more than I am. So here are 7 celebrities (because 7 is lucky and Lucky Charms is a St. Patrick’s Day thing, right?) who will really enjoy St. Patrick’s Day this year (and every year until their livers wither and die).

Charlie Sheen Has Decided To Make His Next Ex Wife A Porn Star

February 17th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

So, Charlie Sheen has decided that going back and forth between hating and sharing a crack pipe with each of his ex wives wasn’t enough drama for him to deal with, so he’s going to wife up his sex-on-film-for-pay girlfriend.

Why is he still allowed to make decisions for himself when he is obviously terrible at them? Has anyone tried to call Adult Protective Services yet? Sheen needs himself a Daddy Spears to take over and run his life before he makes any more children that will one day single-handedly support the livelihoods of an entire group of psychiatrists.

Charlie Sheen Just Moved Ashton Kutcher Up On His Shit List

February 7th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Ashton Kutcher has decided it is time for him to man up and start calling out some of his haters.? Of course there are a shit ton of these people, which makes a lot of sense when you are an?incredibly untalented philandering actor who is still managing to make bank.? There are so many options for Ashton to choose from.

But proving that he still is just as?dumb as the idiot Kelso he once played on?TV, Kutcher?felt starting a war with crack head Charlie Sheen was?a logical choice.? If I was Kutcher I would be watching my ass now because I would not put it past Sheen to pull a Tonya Harding and take a bat to Ashton when he least expects it.

Somebody Married Charlie Sheen Again? A Weekend in Review

January 6th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Some days I can’t help but wake up and think: What the fuck is wrong with the world? Today was one of those days, because today I found out that, once again, someone has decided it’s a good idea to marry Charlie Sheen. And SURPRISE! It’s a porn star.

Oh no, wait! Maybe he didn’t, he was just joking! You see, Charlie Sheen went to Iceland this weekend and posted a picture of him with his porn star girlfriend, Brett Rossi, with the caption that they’d gotten married. He then posted a pic of his new tattoo, where he’d gotten his kids’ and Rossi’s initials on him. But then wait, PRANKS! Not married, he just wanted?an excuse to freak out Denise Richards and make fun of Ashton Kutcher. SO, I think the real story here is: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH CHARLIE SHEEN?!

Charlie Sheen Is Back To Hating His Other Ex Wife

December 17th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

Oh snap, I think someone is drinking dragon’s blood again.? Charlie Sheen is back to writing creepy ass poems and posting menacing pictures on his Twitter account.? Shocking enough, these weren’t aimed at his crack loving ex wife, Brooke Mueller, or the DCFS.? Instead this time Sheen is pissed off at his second ex wife, Denise Richards.

Way to remind everyone why you have custody of NONE of your children, Charlie.? Shit, even Shoot Em Up Mueller has more of a chance of getting them back than you.? That’s just pathetic.

Charlie Sheen is Out For Blood

November 7th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

Charlie Sheen sort of calmed down the craziness for a while.? No more ranting about “WINNING!” or filling his house with?porn stars or?drinking dragon’s blood.? He quieted down, worked on his new show, spent time with his kids, and continued to sleep with one professional sex star at a time.

But shit’s going down now.? Sheen’s ex wife, Brooke Mueller, has been off the crack for more than 2 minutes so she is apparently fighting for more custody of their twins, and Sheen is not having it.? He’s calling Brooke out publicly for the hot mess that she is, and making weird creepy threats against her and the entire Department of Child and Family Services.

The twins are currently under the custody of Sheen’s other ex, Denise Richards.? Even Sheen knows that the former call girl turned his ex wife is more stable than either kid’s parent, which is just sad as shit.

You Know You’ve Hit A Low Point When Charlie Sheen Is Judging You

September 25th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

These days, a day in the life of Charlie Sheen consists of turning up to jury service, spending all day placing ?bets on major league baseball, then getting unceremoniously kicked out by 3pm.?Celebrities – they’re just like us!?

Charlie turned up to his home away from home – an LA courthouse – on Tuesday to do his part for the community as a prospective juror. It must have been nice for him to walk into court knowing that for once, it can’t end in a forced rehab stay and eighteen months probation.

Charlie Sheen Finally Finds A Porn Star He Doesn’t Like

June 14th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

It’s been well documented that there’s nothing Charlie Sheen loves more than a porn star who’s half his age. Teen Mom Farrah Abraham ticks both of these boxes nicely, with the added bonus that she’s recently revealed she’s gone under the knife to increase the size of her bazookas. It’s a match made in heaven, right?

Not according to Charlie, it’s not. According to a letter to Farrah obtained by TMZ, Charlie thinks the 22-year old mother and ‘backdoor’ aficionado is a “desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua”. If Farrah was looking for a quote to put on the front of her sex tape’s cover, she might have found it.

‘Machete Kills’ Has Got To Be Some Kind Of Prank

May 31st, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

The latest trailer for Machete Kills has hit the internet in a blaze of fire and exploding titties, and also looking a little like one of those fake movie trailers they played at the beginning of ‘Tropic Thunder’.?

It features pretty much every Spanish-speaking mainstream Hollywood star ever, and because it’s the brainchild of Robert Rodriguez, you know it’s going to leave you wondering how it’s possible to pour so much money and starpower into a film and still come away with a B-movie.

If you’re too lazy/busy/uninterested to watch the actual trailer yourself, here’s a quick breakdown of it by someone who has never seen ‘Machete’.