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Charles Ehrlich

OJ Simpson Trial: Hooray! More Heart Attacks!

by Stuart Heritage on September 24, 2008 1 Comment

There’s only one thing keeping us interested in the OJ Simpson trial, you know – and that’s good old fashioned acute myocardial infarction.

Just a few days after one witness in the OJ Simpson trial called a halt to proceedings because he was too busy clutching his chest and gasping for air, another witness has decided to blame everything on his dodgy heart, too. OJ Simpson’s co-defendant Charles Ehrlich says that he can’t really remember the Las Vegas hotel room raid in much detail because he’s had a couple of heart attacks and they’ve made him all forgetful.

Whoever came up with this heart attack idea is a genius, because now we don’t know what the hell’s going on at all. Except for one thing – if OJ Simpson really wants to be found innocent, he should be sure to slowly cough his own heart up and out into his hands if he ever has to testify. It’s probably the only way.

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There's only one thing keeping us interested in the OJ Simpson trial, you know - and that's good old fashioned acute myocardial infarction. Just a few days after one witness in the OJ Simpson trial called a halt to proceedings because he was too busy clutching his chest and gasping for air, another witness has decided to blame everything on his dodgy heart, too. OJ Simpson's co-defendant Charles Ehrlich says that he can't really remember the Las Vegas hotel room raid in much detail because he's had a couple of heart attacks and they've made him all forgetful. Whoever came up with this heart attack idea is a genius, because now we don't know what the hell's going on at all. Except for one thing - if OJ Simpson really wants to be found innocent, he should be sure to slowly cough his own heart up and out into his hands if he ever has to testify. It's probably the only way.

OJ Simpson Trial: OJ Knew About The Guns, Unless He Didn’t

by Stuart Heritage on September 23, 2008 0 Comments

The OJ Simpson armed robbery trial has already been dragging on for what seems like a thousand years, but finally we’re onto guns.

According to one of OJ Simpson’s goons in court yesterday, OJ must have known that some of his henchmen were carrying guns because he shouted “Put the guns away,” at them during the raid. Unless he didn’t, which is what another witness is saying.

Incidentally, Charles Ehrlich – the man who claims that OJ Simpson knew about the guns – is an old friend of his. Or at least he was until he pleaded guilty to lesser charges in exchange for a testimony against Simpson, anyway. Now the pair have probably fallen out. And you know what happens to you if you fall out with OJ Simpson, don’t you.

You get one less Christmas card a year, that’s what. Why, what did you think we meant?

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The OJ Simpson armed robbery trial has already been dragging on for what seems like a thousand years, but finally we're onto guns. According to one of OJ Simpson's goons in court yesterday, OJ must have known that some of his henchmen were carrying guns because he shouted "Put the guns away," at them during the raid. Unless he didn't, which is what another witness is saying. Incidentally, Charles Ehrlich - the man who claims that OJ Simpson knew about the guns - is an old friend of his. Or at least he was until he pleaded guilty to lesser charges in exchange for a testimony against Simpson, anyway. Now the pair have probably fallen out. And you know what happens to you if you fall out with OJ Simpson, don't you. You get one less Christmas card a year, that's what. Why, what did you think we meant?