So what’s number one at the US weekend box office today? A highbrow critical darling? A well-received edgy comedy? Any of the new horror movies? No. It’s sodding High School Musical 3, isn’t it. Again.

That means that the stars of High School Musical 3 are officially bigger than Seth Rogen and Angelina Jolie combined. Perhaps to reassert their popularity, in their next movies Seth Rogen will sing a number of songs about believing in yourself and Angelina Jolie will take a naked picture of herself and post it on the internet. But not the other way round, though – that would be horrible. Angelina Jolie really can’t sing.

High School Musical 3 is the number one movie at the weekend box office for the second week running, proving that if there’s one thing that children like more than dressing up as mutilated corpses and threatening to deface strangers’ property unless they’re given confectionery, it’s watching Zac Efron sing uplifting songs about the power of friendship. No wonder this planet’s so messed up.

This last week has seen some of the hardest-fought movie promotion we think we’ve ever seen. But how effective has it been? Let’s find out with the US weekend box office top five…

1 - High School Musical 3 (Level of weekend box office movie promotion: we don’t care. High School Musical 3’s continued box office success has dramatically slumped in the weekend box office has probably pushed the cast’s acceptance of direct-to-DVD erotic thrillers as a primary source of income back by about five years. That means that we’ll have to put up with the inevitable Moderately Risky Side-Boob era, but that seems to be working out OK for Jessica Alba, doesn’t it) $15,035,000

2 - Zack And Miri Make A Porno (Level of weekend box office movie promotion: that one time that Kevin Smith told everyone that he broke a toilet with his bottom recently. That’s literally all we have to say on the matter) $10,682,000

3 - Saw V (Level of weekend box office movie promotion: none. Saw V’s continued success proves that you don’t need a controversial title or a frighteningly ubiquitous media presence to make a movie a success – you just need a couple of scenes of people cutting off their own hands in horrifically graphic detail. Listen and learn, God And Gays: Bridging The Gap) $10,110,000

4 - Changeling (Level of weekend box office movie promotion: frightening. To make Changeling a success, Angelina Jolie has done everything from rub her boob on a baby’s face to arming her children with daggers. Sad to say, the plan wasn’t a complete success, and Changeling’s lack of a weekend box office number one title can probably be put down to the three whole seconds that Angelina Jolie’s smug face wasn’t plastered all over every single newspaper, TV show and magazine in the world two weeks ago on Tuesday. Whoops) $9,407,000

5 - The Haunting Of Molly Hartley (Level of weekend box office movie promotion: Since we’ve never heard of The Haunting Of Molly Hartley, we’ll say zero. Now, if the movie’s star Haley Bennett had got fat and destroyed a bathroom while breastfeeding a baby whose hands she’d just chopped off, it’d be a different matter entirely. Haley Bennett is an idiot) $6,009,000

Read more:

Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo

Despite have six of the little sods running around already, Angelina Jolie has decided that she’s going to go on the hunt for more. During an interview on the Today show, Angelina Jolie was asked if she’s going to adopt any more children, and she responded by nodding like a wizened old bearded monk who lives on top of a mountain.

Adopting a seventh child is all well and good, but Angelina Jolie has obviously forgotten one important point – having already adopted children from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam, the most impoverished place left to her is the Isle Of Wight. And, urgh, who’d want a baby from the Isle Of Wight?

Angelina Jolie will do anything to make you go and see her new movie The Changeling. Literally anything. She’ll cover her body in tattoos, she’ll go on the front of magazines with babies chewing on her knockers – literally anything that draws attention away from the fact that The Changeling looks like the sort of dreary nonsense that people only make because they think they’ll get an Oscar out of it at the end.

And Angelina Jolie is even willing to roll out her greatest hit for the cause as well – the good old adoption speculation.

You see, it isn’t enough that Angelina Jolie already has six children – three of her own and three shipped in from elsewhere – because it’s Angelina’s life ambition to keep adopting children until she’s absolutely exhausted every single possible combination of letters and numbers that she can use as a kid’s silly name.

And that’s why, during an interview on the Today show yesterday, Angelina Jolie admitted that she was on the look-out for another baby to adopt. People reports:

The wheels are already turning in Angelina Jolie’s head, the Changeling star admitted in a lengthy Today show interview Thursday: She and Brad Pitt are considering another adoption. “Soon?” asked host Matt Lauer when the actress and mother of six nodded in the affirmative.

Now, don’t expect Angelina Jolie to go and adopt another child tomorrow, because she can’t – her baby twins are only three and a half months old, and the adoption process can’t start until they reach six months – but time is of the essence. After all, one of the children has a knife now, so Angelina Jolie will probably need to start adopting new babies quite prolifically soon, otherwise we get the feeling that her child tally is going to decrease somewhat.

Nobody knows where or how Angelina Jolie is going to adopt her next baby from, but the competition is going to be tight – it’s well-known now that if Angelina Jolie adopts you, you get to live a life of unbridled luxury. That’s why we’re hoping that Angelina starts a Britain’s Got Talent-style elimination process of all the world’s most harrowingly impoverished children to whittle down her options.

It makes perfect sense – you get 10,000 kids in, ask them to tell you a sad story, make them do a dance or sing or juggle or something, get rid of the rubbish ones and in the end, bingo, you’re left with a bald midget landmine amputee orphan from Chad who can play the ukulele. Imagine how many magazines that would sell.

That’s because the logistics of shipping the world’s most famous couple plus all their assorted children to one of the world’s busiest cities are a nightmare. Such a nightmare, in fact, that Angelina Jolie’s gigantic army of family and staff apparently brought traffic to a grinding standstill in the area surrounding her hotel yesterday.

However, we get the feeling the this giant traffic jam was nothing more than a clever promotional stunt for Angelina Jolie’s new movie The Changeling. After all, it used to be known as the boring-looking movie that Angelina Jolie only did because she thought she’d get an Oscar out of it, and now it’s the movie that made a few New Yorkers a couple of minutes late for their tea. And that’s probably better, we’d imagine.

This trip to New York by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to promote The Changeling was probably the best thing for Angelina at the moment.

For example, if reports are to be believed Angelina Jolie is currently suffering from a touch of postnatal depression following the birth of her twins. And Brad Pitt’s just made her move to Berlin. Berlin, for crying out loud – the same city where David Bowie recorded Low, the same city that’s named after Lou Reed’s most depressing album and the city that inspired the name of the band who made Take My Breath Away. Frankly it’s a surprise that Angelina Jolie hasn’t thrown herself out of a bloody window already.

So, yes, it’s definitely good that Angelina Jolie has returned to New York for a large serving of razzle dazzle. Especially since, by single-handedly snarling up the entire city’s traffic system, Angelina gets to remember what it’s like to conduct your life with the profound sense of entitlement you only get in the good old US of A. MSNBC reports:

The family is in town for the premiere of Jolie’s new film, “Changeling,” and while there’s plenty of Oscar buzz surrounding Jolie’s performance, locals were buzzing about the traffic jam the family caused outside their midtown Manhattan hotel. “I guess the size of their family and the amount of traffic they cause is directly proportional,” said one observer. “You’d think (Jolie) was part of the U.N. General Assembly.”

Ha, yes, do you see? You’d think that Angelina Jolie was part of the U.N. General Assembly because all her children come from different places. Ha ha ha. Look, the representative for Cambodia wants more biscuits. Ha ha. And the ambassador for Angelina Jolie’s womb is trying to pass a resolution about needing a poo. Ha ha. Or something. Ha.

Still, let’s be thankful that Angelina Jolie is only in town to promote a highbrow arthouse movie that people will only watch because it might win an Oscar and they feel like they should. Imagine what’d happen to the traffic if she made a film that people actually liked the look of. People would be actually dying of starvation in their cars as we speak.

It’s too much to think about. Let’s just all be thankful that Angelina Jolie has never actually made one of these films.