Sorry, that was confusing. Look – Miley Cyrus, who plays Hannah Montana in the TV show Hanna Montana, has just changed her name from Destiny Hope Cyrus to Miley Ray Cyrus because her Dad is Billy Ray Cyrus and everyone called her Miley Cyrus anyway and she liked the 'Ray' part of her Dad's name.

There, that's cleared all the confusion up.

If you've got children, chances are you know who Miley Cyrus is because your children do nothing but watch her TV show over and over again and again and again like gawping attention span-deficient monkeys. And even if you don't know who Miley Cyrus is, you should probably learn, because she's the sort of ultra-focused, all-singing all-dancing teenage sensation who'll either take over the planet or end up driving her car the wrong way up a motorway on drugs. Either way, you'd do well to remember her name.

Actually, no, don't remember Miley Cyrus' name. Because she's not called Miley Cyrus any more – she's just officially changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus.

Why? Well, it might be because Miley Ray Cyrus' dad is rootin' tootin' early 90s rat-haired achy breaky cowboy Billy Ray Cyrus and she wants to do everything she can to remind people of that, presumably because she enjoys being pelted with bits of old fruit. Star reports:

Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus has legally changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus. Her birth name was Destiny Hope Cyrus. She changed her moniker to reflect her nickname and honor her father, Billy Ray Cyrus. 

Destiny Hope Cyrus? Wow, no wonder Miley decided to change her name – was she originally named after a shop that sells dreamcatchers? And now that Miley Cyrus has changed her name, it can only be a matter of time before all her brothers and sisters – like Accomplishment Optimism Cyrus, Self-Esteem Tenacity Cyrus, Glorious Eaglevision Cyrus and Braison Chance Cyrus – do the same. Braison Chance is real, by the way. We know.

The confusion isn't over just yet, though - Miley Ray Cyrus' body double still has to work out what her name is – but once that's over, Miley will be able to start her life afresh. After all, if the knowledge that she's not explicitly sexually active won't stop the creepy middle-aged perverts from hitting on her, then perhaps the subtle reminder that she might grow up to look like Billy Ray Cyrus will.

Read more:

Miley's Name Change – Star

Because for the first part of this week we'll be looking at the Christmas number one betting odds not including Sobby X Factor Cry-Boy. With him and his ratty hair and funny teeth out of the way, the Christmas number one betting odds market is wide open – wide open to all the other crummy ballads and shit-awful novelty records that are released at this time of year. And, really, isn't that what Christmas is all about? Isn't it?

Here are the Christmas number one betting odds for Soulja Boy, Alesha Dixon and Sugababes…

Soulja Boy, Crank That

You know how every single music channel seems to be on a constant loop of 'top 50 Christmas hits' shows at the moment? Well imagine if, in 20 years' time, one of these shows reminds you that the Christmas number one in 2007 was a novelty dance song about masturbation where the only comprehensible words spoken are 'Superman' and 'ohhhh!' You'd feel pretty shit, wouldn't you, especially when the children started crying and asking you why you let it happen? That's why you mustn't let Crank That by Soulja Boy anywhere near the Christmas number one spot. It's inevitable that in 20 years the children will be crying about you let sodding Leon from X Factor be the Christmas number one, but we can deal with that when we need to. Current Christmas number one betting odds – 12/1

Alesha Dixon, Let's Go Dancing

We're almost completely certain that Let's Go Dancing by Alesha Dixon won't be Christmas number one, for the simple reason that it doesn't even pissing exist. It could have existed – there was talk of Alesha recording a song set to the Strictly Come Dancing theme-song at one point, but she didn't do it. So don't bet on this one please. There is a version of Let's Go Dancing on iTunes at the moment, but that's been recorded by Dan McGrath and Josh Phillips and is unutterably dreadful, so we're not going to let it count, even if it does. Seriously, imagine someone going "Oooh baby salsa rumba dancing baby baby" over the Strictly Come Dancing opening titles just to annoy you. Let's Go Dancing is even worse than that. Current Christmas number one betting odds – 10/1

Sugababes, Change

In the distant pre-X Factor past, a group like Sugababes would have been frontrunners to become Christmas number one with a song like Change. It ticks just about every box that you could ask for in a Christmas number one – it's slow, it's ferociously important-sounding like it should be on a commercial for an airline or a government-subsidised documentary about racism, it's about your boyfriend either dumping you or dying in a horrible accident and it's got a video featuring some of the most preposterous eyelashes we ever did see. Two main reasons why Change by Sugababes won't be Christmas number one: 1) it's not an old Mariah Carey song performed by a red-eyed Scottish boy and 2) we've listened to it three or four times in a row now, and we still can't remember how it goes. Current Christmas number one betting odds – 10/1

Tomorrow - Christmas number one betting odds for Malcolm Middleton, Leona Lewis and Katie Melua & Eva Cassidy. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Christmas number one betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.