Chanelle Hayes - HecklerSpray

Well, OK, that’s a misleading headline – Chanelle certainly realises that nobody cares about her any more.

On Sunday it was revealed that former Big Brother housemate Chanelle Hayes’ attempts to become a pop star had died a death, with her new single I Want It limping into the charts at 63. However, while most people have reacted to this news in the correct way – with a disinterested shrug – Chanelle’s Big Brother ex-boyfriend Ziggy Zichman has publicly called her efforts ‘laughable.’

Ziggy, of course, is an expert on the music industry because he was in Northern Line and their last single got all the way to number 27. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is this – shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. Shut up.

When summer comes thundering round, we all know what it’s set to bring – ice cream, crappy weather and another soul-sapping series of Big Brother.

In the beginning, Big Brother was a crazy experiment which for once didn’t involve cutting people open or giving them drugs which would result in the growth of an extra eye. Instead, it was set to monitor the results of living in a controlled human environment. Or as most viewers interpreted it, a chance to maybe see some people have sex. But as time has gone on, the experimental phase has vanished and contestants have used Big Brother as a platform to launch a career. None are ever successful and, brilliantly for us, we get to see them crash and burn.

It’s now the turn of Chanelle Hayes.

Chanelle & Ziggy Don’t Realise That Nobody Cares Any More

Hooray! Another Reality Star’s Career Is Set To Implode.