Celine Dion - HecklerSpray

The Top 6 Coolest Canadian Celebrities

June 26th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Canada Day is just around the corner, and, in case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I just so happen to be Canadian! Canada isn’t just some liberal place Americans flee to in dystopian fiction (ok, and in real life sometimes), it’s actually produced some really cool people, some of which are famous!

Since I’ll probably be white girl wasted on actual Canada Day, I would like to take this moment to appreciate some of the sweet treasures my country has given the world. And no, neither Drake or Justin Bieber is on this list. Also, I know 6 is a weird number, but fuck off.

Top 5 Most Scary Celebrity Stalker Experiences

November 1st, 2012 By Nic Ferguson

Earlier this year, Halle Berry had a stalker scare when a man scaled her fence and made his way onto her property. The police arrived; he was gone. The next day, she looked out of her kitchen window only to find the same strange man staring back at her.

Pretty fucking terrifying, right? But that guy just breaks the ice when it comes to scary celebrity stalkers. Here are a few of the craziest.

Celine Dion: Regrettably Not Dead Yet

March 16th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Even though Celine Dion hasn’t done anything of note in the public eye for some time now, it doesn’t stop you from feeling her evil presence on the wind, does it? It’s malignant and just… there.

And so, a collective weight was lifted from the shoulders of the world when it was announced that the tepid belter was dead.

Alas,?Celine Dion is just the latest celebrity to be killed off by a rumour. As well you know, bullets, illness, drugs, murder, knives and wild bear attacks are much better at killing unwanted celebrities, rather than mere rumours.

World’s Suavest Burglar Is Found In Celine Dion’s House Having Some Cake

September 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Be honest. You’ve thought of stealing from Celine Dion’s home. Rightly, you’ve figured that, if you have to put up with her terrible, terrible music, then it is only fair that you should be able to take her possessions as compensation.

Well, the goalposts have moved now because, if you’re considering burgling Celine, someone has really upped the stakes.

The ‘singer’ had her house broken into on Monday by a man so suave that he should be given a medal so large, that it blots out the sun.

Michael Jackson Baby Dangling Sculpture Unveiled In London

April 11th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Michael Jackson truly was a man who kept on giving. Note the past tense: he isn't alive and living on a secret island alongside Princess Diana, 2Pac and Snoopy. However, enough people tell us that Michael Jackson will be coming back in 2057 with robotic facial surgery that gives him scorpion-like stinging powers.

We've already slipped on our sparkly glove in anticipation of this moment.

Let this not overshadow the achievements of a man that supposedly gave so much money to charity that it ruined him to the extent of needing an umbrella to protect himself from the sun and a wheelchair for basic mobility. Dr. Conrad Murray was employed to provide the singer with magical potions and drugs to keep him alive and give the impression he wasn?t stuck together with tape and staples following countless bouts of botched surgery. Countless speculations about his health overtook his once glorious music career and he's now remembered more for his wacko antics than singing, such as his baby waving incident.

Jermaine Jackson Is Broke So He Must Be Thrilled That He Owes ?50,000 To His Ex-Wife

April 6th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

The Jackson family really has a lot to answer for in terms of their dire financial situation. Who they gonna blame it on? Most people would point the finger at poor advice given to them from second rate lawyers, but the Jackson family are a wacky bunch of loons, so they?ll end up passing the buck to sunshine, moon light, good times and boogie.

World renowned musician and court visitor Michael Jackson was always having money problems. After blowing wads of cash on crap that wouldn't appear in Sunday newspaper supplements, the king of pop died in a lot of debt.

You?d therefore expect the Jackson clan to not follow in his footsteps and be more money-minded. That would make sense wouldn't it? But in true Jackson fashion, the other family members have made a complete mess of everything. And step forward Jermaine Jackson who is in trouble for, allegedly, slacking on child payments. The monster!

Michael Jackson To Be Immortalised Outside Fullham Football Club

March 17th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Have you ever had a dream where at the time everything seems perfectly normal and reasonable? You know, like that talking dog who gave you directions to the local off-license or that rubbish superpower that allows you to squirt orange juice out your nipples? But when the alarm goes off, it's nothing but a messed up thought in your mind.

We similarly went through the same process when we picked up the morning papers and saw a story featuring the once popular king of pop Michael Jackson and eccentric shop owner Mohammed Al Fayed.

Hilariously there was some sort of talk about a statue of the late singer being placed outside Craven Cottage, the home of Fullham FC who Mohammed Al Fayed owns. After trying to wake ourselves up we had that moment of dread which means we're either trapped in a dream like universe, or this story is potentially real.

Celine Dion Set To Screech Out Musical Tribute To Michael Jackson

March 14th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

There are multiple reasons why we're proud to be British instead of Canadian. Not only do we have a delicious national dish known as the curry, but we have produced some of the greatest music in the world across all genres. In Canada, the same can't be said. With a national delicacy of bashed seal heads severed with a side order of snow, it isn't really a mouth watering dish.

Canada does however boast a bucket load of musicians but when you look at what's been produced, you have to despair for the poor nation. How about six year old Justin Bieber? Or if you want something more grown up, you can always rock out to Bryan Adams.

However, the queen bee of Canadian music is none other than Celine Dion, a woman who made the awful film Titanic even worse. She's been off the radar of late after giving birth (and being booed and bullied by the people of Canada at a show – go team!), but the alarm bells are going in music land. A live comeback is being threatened with an odd tribute to Michael Jackson.

WEBTHUMP! Stu?s Last WEBTHUMP!

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – THE GREATEST VIDEO OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS, NUMBER ONE…

9 – Who wants to make people out of acorns? – Craftjr

8 – Oh Pamela Anderson. Ick – AmyGrindhouse

7 – OLD BOOZE – Asylum

6 – THE GREATEST VIDEO OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS, NUMBER TWO…

5 – Seven awesome things about a Celine Dion magazine cover – BestWeekEver

4 – Giant, slow-motion popping bubbles – Geekologie

3 – Ronnie Corbett’s Supper Club sounds AWESOME – WatchWithMothers

2 – Warning: you will never be able to unwatch this – Warmingglow

Celine Dion Is Pregnant! Pregnant With TWINS!

June 1st, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

The only thing that Celine Dion ever wanted was a family. And some teeth that didn’t look like shattered off-white crockery.

The teeth she fixed long ago. But the family? That’s been harder to achieve. But finally, after what seems like endless rounds of IFV treatments, she’s got there – Celine Dion has finally become pregnant again. And what’s more, this time she’s become pregnant with twins.

It’s truly wonderful news. Not only will Celine Dion get to raise the biological children that she’s openly longed for since 2001, but her son Rene-Charles will now get some siblings to play with. And, if we’re really lucky, the stress of motherhood will prove to be so gigantic that Celine Dion won’t release any more of her godawful music until they’ve all grown up and left home. Truly, this is a time to celebrate.