Scientists Make Celine Dion Another Baby There was a time not so long ago that to have a baby, one had to petition the Most High until he blessed her with a swollen womb and an ample supply of spooj.

But now anybody can have a baby whether God wants them to or not. For instance,  even though it's clear that everybody in heaven is very much against giving Celine Dion heirs to still record albums long after she's dead, it's happening anyway. Somehow, after years of scientific struggle, she's pregnant again.

Celine Dion Uses Enough Water For You To Easily Drown Her In Celine Dion and water go way back - let's not forget that her biggest hit was about the tragic watery deaths of 1,517 people in the freezing North Atlantic. So with a relationship like that, you'd think that Celine Dion would be allowed to use as much water as she liked. Celine Dion certainly thinks so - she's been singled out as the biggest consumer of water in her Florida county, using 6.5 million gallons in a year. To put that in perspective, Celine Dion used enough water to fill a 50-gallon bathtub every four minutes, day and night, for 12 months solid. It sounds a lot, but Celine Dion actually drinks every one of those 6.5 gallons of water so that she can stay hydrated when she cries about all the sad people in Africa, which she does a lot.

Celine Dion Not Singing In Las Vegas Any More

The good thing about Las Vegas is that singers often go there for years at a time to perform lucrative residencies - the bad thing about it is that it sometimes lets them go again.

For the last five years, Celine Dion has performed her A New Day concert 717 times at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. It was a win-win really, because the show earnt Celine Dion over $100 million while simultaneously keeping her too busy to hawk her screechingly overbearing power ballads to anyone else as a result. But all good things must end, and so Celine Dion just has performed her last show in Las Vegas. Now Celine Dion is going to take her show around the world, and it's progress will be traced by military technology - you'll be able to see which country Celine Dion is in at any point by watching droves of people with their fingers jammed into their ears hurling themselves into the sea via satellite.