Articles tagged with: celebrity weddings
Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Sort Of Get Married Again
If there's one thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's starring in hopeless romantic comedies that are only enjoyed by hairdressers and idiots. But if there's another thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's getting married. Jennifer Lopez loves getting married so much that she'll quite off marry someone completely unsuitable just so she can divorce him and get married to someone else a few months later. However, Jennifer Lopez made quite the schoolboy error when she married Marc Anthony - a man she actually seems to quite like. Because now it looks like they'll never get divorced and Jennifer Lopez won't be able to feed her compulsive marriage addiction. Unless, of course, Jennifer Lopez opted for the methadone of the wedding world instead, and just pointlessly renewed her vows to Marc Anthony instead. So she's done that.
If there's one thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's starring in hopeless romantic comedies that are only enjoyed by hairdressers and idiots. But if there's another thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's getting married. Jennifer Lopez loves getting married so much that she'll quite off marry someone completely unsuitable just so she can divorce him and get married to someone else a few months later. However, Jennifer Lopez made quite the schoolboy error when she married Marc Anthony - a man she actually seems to quite like. Because now it looks like they'll never get divorced and Jennifer Lopez won't be able to feed her compulsive marriage addiction. Unless, of course, Jennifer Lopez opted for the methadone of the wedding world instead, and just pointlessly renewed her vows to Marc Anthony instead. So she's done that.
Scarlett Johansson Marries Ryan Reynolds, Nobody Knows Why
Scarlett Johansson - one of the most beautiful actresses in the world who could literally take her pick of any man alive - has just got married. But who has Scarlett Johansson got married to? A king? James Bond? A philanthropic playboy billionaire? Pre-goose Fabio? No. Scarlett Johansson has got married to Ryan Reynolds - the man who you'll probably recognise as the bloke you wanted to punch square in the face for the entire duration of that Definitely, Maybe film your girlfriend made you go and see. Apparently Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynold's wedding was a small, quiet affair attended by only a handful of people. That's not to say that more people weren't invited - they just never got round to replying because they've all been scratching their heads and going "Ryan Reynolds? Why?" ever since the invitations arrived.
Scarlett Johansson - one of the most beautiful actresses in the world who could literally take her pick of any man alive - has just got married. But who has Scarlett Johansson got married to? A king? James Bond? A philanthropic playboy billionaire? Pre-goose Fabio? No. Scarlett Johansson has got married to Ryan Reynolds - the man who you'll probably recognise as the bloke you wanted to punch square in the face for the entire duration of that Definitely, Maybe film your girlfriend made you go and see. Apparently Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynold's wedding was a small, quiet affair attended by only a handful of people. That's not to say that more people weren't invited - they just never got round to replying because they've all been scratching their heads and going "Ryan Reynolds? Why?" ever since the invitations arrived.
Sorry Girls, George Takei Is Off The Market
Ladies, we know that when someone's making love to you, you're really fantasising about George Takei - but it's too late. That's because, ladies, we're sorry to admit that George Takei has got married. Your dreams of Mr Sulu appearing at your doorstep on a white steed to whisk you away to a life on unparalleled luxury are worthless now, because this weekend George Takei got married to a very lucky lady by the name of Brad Altman. Huh, Brad Altman. That's a funny and oddly-masculine name for a lady to have. In fact, looking at George Takei's wedding pictures, his new wife bears an uncanny resemblance to a balding grey-haired man in his mid-fifties. Poor woman. Still, she must be great in the sack to snag a pussy-magnet like George Takei, so who are we to judge.
Ladies, we know that when someone's making love to you, you're really fantasising about George Takei - but it's too late. That's because, ladies, we're sorry to admit that George Takei has got married. Your dreams of Mr Sulu appearing at your doorstep on a white steed to whisk you away to a life on unparalleled luxury are worthless now, because this weekend George Takei got married to a very lucky lady by the name of Brad Altman. Huh, Brad Altman. That's a funny and oddly-masculine name for a lady to have. In fact, looking at George Takei's wedding pictures, his new wife bears an uncanny resemblance to a balding grey-haired man in his mid-fifties. Poor woman. Still, she must be great in the sack to snag a pussy-magnet like George Takei, so who are we to judge.
Lindsay Lohan This Close To Marrying Samantha Ronson, Maybe
There used to be a time when Lindsay Lohan only loved booze, drugs, sex, partial nudity and films about winking Volkswagens, but not any more. Now it seems like Lindsay Lohan has found the love of her life - a boy-haired DJ called Samantha Ronson. For the past however many months, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been completely inseparable, going to events together, falling out of clubs together, slagging off Lindsay Lohan's dad together - and now it looks like they want to make their union official. That's right, according to reports Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson could be getting married in the next few months. Let's just pray that they don't accidentally release a Pammy & Tommy-style honeymoon sex video. Not because lesbian sex repulses us, you understand, but because we've seen Lindsay Lohan naked so many times in the last few years that one more glimpse of her ginger knockers will probably send us into a deep narcoleptic coma that we'll never recover from.
There used to be a time when Lindsay Lohan only loved booze, drugs, sex, partial nudity and films about winking Volkswagens, but not any more. Now it seems like Lindsay Lohan has found the love of her life - a boy-haired DJ called Samantha Ronson. For the past however many months, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been completely inseparable, going to events together, falling out of clubs together, slagging off Lindsay Lohan's dad together - and now it looks like they want to make their union official. That's right, according to reports Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson could be getting married in the next few months. Let's just pray that they don't accidentally release a Pammy & Tommy-style honeymoon sex video. Not because lesbian sex repulses us, you understand, but because we've seen Lindsay Lohan naked so many times in the last few years that one more glimpse of her ginger knockers will probably send us into a deep narcoleptic coma that we'll never recover from.
James Gandolfini Marries Some Woman Someplace Nice
Although it's Labor Day and most of the media is preoccupied with hurricanes and politics, we've still got all the big celebrity news for you. And when we say big, we mean big. Like, for instance, James Gandolfini got married on Saturday. That's right - a man from a TV show that ended over a year ago just got married to a woman we've never even heard of. In Hawaii. And, um, that's about it. Just kidding - loads happened. For instance, James Gandolfini's eight-year-old son was the best man. And also, James Gandolfini's wife walked down the aisle to some harp music. Why, James Gandolfini's wedding has got to be the happiest, harpiest, Hawaiiest, eight-year-old boyiest wedding to happen to anyone who played the lead in The Sopranos ever! Warning: the following story may contain padding.
Although it's Labor Day and most of the media is preoccupied with hurricanes and politics, we've still got all the big celebrity news for you. And when we say big, we mean big. Like, for instance, James Gandolfini got married on Saturday. That's right - a man from a TV show that ended over a year ago just got married to a woman we've never even heard of. In Hawaii. And, um, that's about it. Just kidding - loads happened. For instance, James Gandolfini's eight-year-old son was the best man. And also, James Gandolfini's wife walked down the aisle to some harp music. Why, James Gandolfini's wedding has got to be the happiest, harpiest, Hawaiiest, eight-year-old boyiest wedding to happen to anyone who played the lead in The Sopranos ever! Warning: the following story may contain padding.
Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Won’t Take Her up the Aisle
She may have officially become one of the world's dullest people, not bothering to get into even the most minor of mishaps, but we're still sticking with the girl. Because we like Lindsay Lohan - how could we not? She's given us so much entertainment, so many words to write and so much vitriolic rage to spew. It's hard to be really very mad at an old friend. But it wouldn't seem that hard for Lindsay's 'born-again Christian ex-convict of an absentee father' (copyright Stuart Heritage 2008), Michael Lohan, to give up on his own flesh and blood for mere 'religious' reasons. Big Mike has decided he can't walk his daughter down the aisle should her rumoured gay wedding come to fruition, as it would go against his born-again Christianity belief system. You've got to love religion. Especially when it's one that you've been turned on to about four minutes ago. Whereas your daughter has been around for most of her life. Can't argue with the man's priorities, we suppose.
She may have officially become one of the world's dullest people, not bothering to get into even the most minor of mishaps, but we're still sticking with the girl. Because we like Lindsay Lohan - how could we not? She's given us so much entertainment, so many words to write and so much vitriolic rage to spew. It's hard to be really very mad at an old friend. But it wouldn't seem that hard for Lindsay's 'born-again Christian ex-convict of an absentee father' (copyright Stuart Heritage 2008), Michael Lohan, to give up on his own flesh and blood for mere 'religious' reasons. Big Mike has decided he can't walk his daughter down the aisle should her rumoured gay wedding come to fruition, as it would go against his born-again Christianity belief system. You've got to love religion. Especially when it's one that you've been turned on to about four minutes ago. Whereas your daughter has been around for most of her life. Can't argue with the man's priorities, we suppose.
Lindsay Lohan Kills Off Any Chance of Her Being Interesting Again With Gay Wedding
Well she's finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray's mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name. Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn't even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic. And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that's 'Sam' as in 'Samantha'. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It's always the way with old friends, isn't it?
Well she's finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray's mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name. Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn't even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn't have the same effect. Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic. And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that's 'Sam' as in 'Samantha'. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It's always the way with old friends, isn't it?
Pete Wentz Used To Have A Gay Old Time
If you’ve ever been to a wedding, or seen one on the TV, or in a film, or read about them, or just, well, know anything about them at all, you’ll know that before the happy couple can be officially married the priest will say: “If anyone knows reasons why these two can’t be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Whenever that’s said, you know if would be amusing for someone to stand up and say something - be it someone screaming: “I’m pregnant with his child!” or: “he’s a wife beater!” or even the ever-popular: "he gave me some kind of incurable VD on his stag night, and he's quite possibly a vampire!"
