Articles tagged with: celebrity sons
Sharon Stone Loses Her Kid (No, Not Up Her Giant Mudflaps)
We always thought that Sharon Stone would be a good mother, particularly because she'd always be getting her vag out to remind you where you're from. But maybe Sharon Stone isn't such a fantastic mother after all, because it turns out that she's lost physical custody of her eight-year-old son Roan to her ex-husband Phil Bronstein. That's upsetting. Not for Sharon Stone - she's old enough to cope with this - but for her son. After all, this means he'll never get to experience the unique form of schoolyard bullying that comes from having your naked 50-year-old mother who happens to be an intense figure of hatred to the entire Chinese community drop you off at school every morning. That poor boy. That poor poor boy.
We always thought that Sharon Stone would be a good mother, particularly because she'd always be getting her vag out to remind you where you're from. But maybe Sharon Stone isn't such a fantastic mother after all, because it turns out that she's lost physical custody of her eight-year-old son Roan to her ex-husband Phil Bronstein. That's upsetting. Not for Sharon Stone - she's old enough to cope with this - but for her son. After all, this means he'll never get to experience the unique form of schoolyard bullying that comes from having your naked 50-year-old mother who happens to be an intense figure of hatred to the entire Chinese community drop you off at school every morning. That poor boy. That poor poor boy.
Ryan O’Neal And Son Get Busted For Having All The Drugs
A public plea: Can someone, anyone, from MTV please immediately go and make a reality TV show about Ryan O'Neal and his family? Thanks. Because, without question, a TV show about the family life of Ryan O'Neal would hands-down be the best piece of television ever made. Especially if it explained why Ryan O'Neal and his son Redmond were yesterday both arrested on the felony charge of methamphetamine possession. Wow. So Oscar-nominated actor Ryan O'Neal (father of Tatum O'Neal, the actress who was recently arrested for buying crack) and his son Redmond (who last year tied his half-brother to a staircase like a dog and hit his girlfriend in the head with a fireplace poker until Ryan O'Neal actually had to fire a gun at him to make him stop) might be on drugs. Who knew?
A public plea: Can someone, anyone, from MTV please immediately go and make a reality TV show about Ryan O'Neal and his family? Thanks. Because, without question, a TV show about the family life of Ryan O'Neal would hands-down be the best piece of television ever made. Especially if it explained why Ryan O'Neal and his son Redmond were yesterday both arrested on the felony charge of methamphetamine possession. Wow. So Oscar-nominated actor Ryan O'Neal (father of Tatum O'Neal, the actress who was recently arrested for buying crack) and his son Redmond (who last year tied his half-brother to a staircase like a dog and hit his girlfriend in the head with a fireplace poker until Ryan O'Neal actually had to fire a gun at him to make him stop) might be on drugs. Who knew?
Minnie Driver Has A Baby, Bewilderingly Names It Story
When it comes to curly-haired British minor actresses, it goes without saying that Minnie Driver is definitely in our top two or three hundred. That's why we're just so thrilled that Minnie Driver has managed to successfully give birth to her first baby. It's been reported that Minnie Driver gave birth to her son on Friday, and she's even named it Henry Story Driver. Story. It's almost as if Minnie Driver is playing along at being a celebrity, isn't it? It's sweet. Not too much is known about Minnie Driver's baby, but fingers crossed that it hasn't inherited Minnie's humongous jaw and, if it has, that it wasn't a natural birth. Delivering a baby can be painful enough at the best of times, so imagine how bad it'd be to have an industrial jack holding your clodge apart so you baby's giant mandible doesn't get snarled up in it. Congratulations Minnie!
When it comes to curly-haired British minor actresses, it goes without saying that Minnie Driver is definitely in our top two or three hundred. That's why we're just so thrilled that Minnie Driver has managed to successfully give birth to her first baby. It's been reported that Minnie Driver gave birth to her son on Friday, and she's even named it Henry Story Driver. Story. It's almost as if Minnie Driver is playing along at being a celebrity, isn't it? It's sweet. Not too much is known about Minnie Driver's baby, but fingers crossed that it hasn't inherited Minnie's humongous jaw and, if it has, that it wasn't a natural birth. Delivering a baby can be painful enough at the best of times, so imagine how bad it'd be to have an industrial jack holding your clodge apart so you baby's giant mandible doesn't get snarled up in it. Congratulations Minnie!
Christina Aguilera In ‘Quite Likes Own Baby’ Shocker
Probably the last taboo of motherhood is admitting that you feel affection towards your baby, because it's crass and almost definitely a lie. But Christina Aguilera is all about shattering taboos - she shattered the one about not honking like a wounded moose in songs for starters - and that's why Christina Aguilera has just made history as the first woman ever to publicly say that she actually enjoys spending time with her baby. Of course, Christina Aguilera's comments happen to neatly tie in with the launch of her new fragrance, so there's every chance she was just being deliberately controversial to stoke up sales. Incidentally, we heard that the new Christina Aguilera perfume is inspired by her first few months of motherhood, which is why it smells like a mixture of yellow poo and her own tears.
Probably the last taboo of motherhood is admitting that you feel affection towards your baby, because it's crass and almost definitely a lie. But Christina Aguilera is all about shattering taboos - she shattered the one about not honking like a wounded moose in songs for starters - and that's why Christina Aguilera has just made history as the first woman ever to publicly say that she actually enjoys spending time with her baby. Of course, Christina Aguilera's comments happen to neatly tie in with the launch of her new fragrance, so there's every chance she was just being deliberately controversial to stoke up sales. Incidentally, we heard that the new Christina Aguilera perfume is inspired by her first few months of motherhood, which is why it smells like a mixture of yellow poo and her own tears.
Dr Dre’s Dead Son Gets A Toxicology Test
The death of Andre Young Jr - the 20-year-old son of Dr Dre - has shocked many, mainly because nobody seems to know why he even died. Andre Young Jr was found dead on Saturday morning. However, the auopsy carried out on his body offered no clues into his cause of death. And that means that everyone involved will have to go through an uncomfortable wait while a toxicology test is carried out. As sad as this obviously is, the parallels between Dr Dre's son and Anna Nicole Smith are painfully clear. In short this story will probably go on forever, with weird scary clown facepaint videos and a lengthy investigation into the paternity of Andre Young Jr's bab... no, wait, it's nothing like Anna Nicole Smith's death. Sorry.
The death of Andre Young Jr - the 20-year-old son of Dr Dre - has shocked many, mainly because nobody seems to know why he even died. Andre Young Jr was found dead on Saturday morning. However, the auopsy carried out on his body offered no clues into his cause of death. And that means that everyone involved will have to go through an uncomfortable wait while a toxicology test is carried out. As sad as this obviously is, the parallels between Dr Dre's son and Anna Nicole Smith are painfully clear. In short this story will probably go on forever, with weird scary clown facepaint videos and a lengthy investigation into the paternity of Andre Young Jr's bab... no, wait, it's nothing like Anna Nicole Smith's death. Sorry.
Gwen Stefani Fires Another Baby Into The Ever-Increasing Bag of Celebrity Babies
Gwen Stefani has gone and done what everyone else in the world of celeb-o-vision has been doing recently. Yes, she's had a baby with that bloke from over here. You know, that one who used to be semi-famous for that one song his band did. Gavin... something. From Bush. Anyway, whoever he is and Gwen Stefani have had another child, and they've named him after a brand of soft drink or something - Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. What about John? Why not John Rossdale? Or Gavin, like his dad? That's a normal name. The poor thing's just being set up for a lifetimr of bullying.
Gwen Stefani has gone and done what everyone else in the world of celeb-o-vision has been doing recently. Yes, she's had a baby with that bloke from over here. You know, that one who used to be semi-famous for that one song his band did. Gavin... something. From Bush. Anyway, whoever he is and Gwen Stefani have had another child, and they've named him after a brand of soft drink or something - Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. What about John? Why not John Rossdale? Or Gavin, like his dad? That's a normal name. The poor thing's just being set up for a lifetimr of bullying.
50 Cent Loves His Son And Doesn’t Take Drugs, The Big Girl
Everyone knows what they want from 50 Cent - and that's gritty, hardcore tales of violent life on the streets. However, don't be surprised if 50 Cent's next CD is a concept album about the art of making quiches and other assorted fancy continental pastry dishes, because 50 Cent, so help us god, has turned soft. How soft? Get this - 50 Cent wanted to take his little boy on vacation so much that he took, and passed, a court-ordered drug test. Not taking drugs? Caring for his own children? Really, 50 Cent, what kind of role model do you call yourself? Quickly, go and mug a pensioner or shoot a policeman before it's too late. Yeeuch.
Everyone knows what they want from 50 Cent - and that's gritty, hardcore tales of violent life on the streets. However, don't be surprised if 50 Cent's next CD is a concept album about the art of making quiches and other assorted fancy continental pastry dishes, because 50 Cent, so help us god, has turned soft. How soft? Get this - 50 Cent wanted to take his little boy on vacation so much that he took, and passed, a court-ordered drug test. Not taking drugs? Caring for his own children? Really, 50 Cent, what kind of role model do you call yourself? Quickly, go and mug a pensioner or shoot a policeman before it's too late. Yeeuch.
Matthew McConaughey Unironically Names Baby After Biblical Figure
As the world slowly comes to terms with the fact that Matthew McConaughey has successfully spawned, fears over what he'd name his baby have gradually taken hold. But it's OK - Matthew McConaughey isn't like all these other ridiculous celebrities with their weird predilictions for nutty baby names. Instead Matthew McConaughey has chosen a simple, humble name for his new son - Levi Alves McConaughey - after his favourite character in the Bible. By naming his baby Levi, Matthew McConaughey must secretly hope that the boy grows up to be the equal of the biblical figure - an astrologist who once stabbed the entire male population of a city to death because one of them might have raped his sister. Still, rather that than making romantic comedies for a living like his dad, eh?
As the world slowly comes to terms with the fact that Matthew McConaughey has successfully spawned, fears over what he'd name his baby have gradually taken hold. But it's OK - Matthew McConaughey isn't like all these other ridiculous celebrities with their weird predilictions for nutty baby names. Instead Matthew McConaughey has chosen a simple, humble name for his new son - Levi Alves McConaughey - after his favourite character in the Bible. By naming his baby Levi, Matthew McConaughey must secretly hope that the boy grows up to be the equal of the biblical figure - an astrologist who once stabbed the entire male population of a city to death because one of them might have raped his sister. Still, rather that than making romantic comedies for a living like his dad, eh?
