Articles tagged with: Celebrity marriages
Most divorced couples hate the guts out of each other, but Donald and Ivana Trump don't - Donald and Ivana Trump have got class. We're just kidding. Donald Trump and Ivana Trump aren't classy at all - they're essentially just incredibly wealthy chavs who don't like anything unless it's covered in repulsive amounts of gold - but they still like each other, and that was our original point. How much do Donald Trump and Ivana Trump like each other? So much that when Ivana Trump got married for the fourth time this weekend, she got married on Donald Trump's estate. In front of Donald Trump. In a ceremony conducted by Donald Trump's sister. There's a rumour that Ivana Trump will also only make love to her new husband if he's wearing a Donald Trump facemask, but that's probably untrue because - christ - imagine having sex with Donald Trump. Bleurgh.
The Sean Penn/ Robin Wright Penn divorce was the one divorce that everyone was looking forward to, but now the bastards have spoilt it. How? By flipping well falling back in love again, that's how. Although they filed for divorce in December, Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn have now decided to call the divorce off so that they can sit around kissing and holding hands for the indefinite future. We feel sick - this isn't how Hollywood marriages are supposed to go at all. Where's the infidelity, the bitterness, the petty public games of one-upmanship? Where, damn it, is the embarrassing sexual encounter with the seven-foot transsexual hooker? Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn, your happiness infuriates us.
Mary J Blige is the Simon Says of modern celebrity culture - if Blige doesn't pass comment on it then it never really happened.
So with that in mind it's safe to assume that Jay-Z and Beyonce really did get married on Friday, because Mary J Blige kicked off a co-headlining concert with Jay-Z on Saturday by shouting "Congratulations to my man Jay-Z and my girl B!"
Which makes it indisputable that Jay-Z and Beyonce are really married, unless Mary J Blige was congratulating them on something else, of course - like finding buried treasure on a beach with a metal detector, for example, or for making a tiny hat that's the perfect size for a duck's head, or for stringing the world on for so long about whether they're married or not that most people would rather swallow broken glass than think about Jay-Z or Beyonce for another second. Who knows?
The ongoing will they/won't they marriage flap between Jay-Z and Beyonce has literally got like six people quite near the edge of their seats.
Every couple of months there'll be a story about how Jay-Z and Beyonce secretly got married in a far-off country, only for it to be shot down later by people bored enough to actually check up on these things.
But now? Now Jay-Z and Beyonce are definitely going to get married because they've just taken out a marriage license. That's right - at some point over the next 60 days there's definitely going to be a Jay-Z wedding. We'd suggest it takes place on May 14th - because there's nothing more romantic than a wedding that takes place on the 212th anniversary of the smallpox vaccination being first administered.
The world wants Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to get married so badly that it'll pretty much believe anything.
Like that Brad Pitt/ Angelina Jolie wedding that was supposed to have taken place in New Orleans on Saturday, for example. You know, the one that never happened.
Star magazine, which claimed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married on Saturday, has now admitted that the whole report was a bunch of cobblers all along. The Pitt/Jolie non-wedding is pretty much good news for all sorts of reasons, though. Not only will it allow for another furiously inept media scrum the next time Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie don't get married, but - girls - this means that you can start kidding yourselves that you have a shot at Brad Pitt again! Exciting!
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie love and trust each other so much that they have decided to sign a legally binding contract making it a huge financial risk for either of them to sleep with anyone else.
According to Star Magazine website, the world's most famous couple made their love official (any love outside of marriage is unofficial - fact) in New Orleans on Saturday.
What a scoop for Star Magazine! But not so according to people.com, who claim it’s all a big bag of overflowing poppycock.
Reports of a wedding between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are always on and off - but now the wedding is definitely on. Unless it's off.
Apparently Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been planning a wedding for some time now, which would be great, except for the giant screaming tantrums they keep having at each other because they can't agree on where to have it.
According to Star magazine, Brad Pitt wants the wedding to take place in New Orleans, while Angelina Jolie would prefer to have it in France. There's an obvious compromise to all this, of course - Brad and Angelina should meet in the middle, right in the centre of the Atlantic ocean, 1,500 miles out to sea. We'll even provide the concrete shoes if they ask us nicely.
He lives his life in the city, there's no easy way out, the day's moving just too fast for him. He need some time in the sunshine, he’s gotta slow it right down, the day is moving just too fast for him. And so tonight, Liam Gallagher is a married man.
That’s right; the former King of rock 'n roll has married a girl, one of those lurgie-carrying things. Her name's Nicole and she was in a girl band. A bloody girly lurgie band.
