OK, not quite. But Morrissey has decided to tell his side of the Morrissey/ NME immigration yarn to the most unbiased arena in the land - the official Morrissey website.

Last week, Morrissey's torrent of alleged anti-immigration codswallop shocked all NME readers - so basically about a dozen 14-year-olds with funny haircuts and cupboards full of skinny ties - to such an extent that Morrissey was forced to sue the magazine. And today on his website, Morrissey is going to explain that actually he's not a racist, that the NME ignored his requests to help out on an anti-racism campaign and - perhaps most shockingly of all - the interviewer fidgeted a bit and laughs like a schoolgirl.

Oh, it's on.

Evel Knievel isn't the sort of man you want as an enemy, since the last thing anyone wants is a rickety old man maliciously jumping over your car on his motorbike all night when you're trying to get some sleep.

Because that's what Evel Knievel does if you cross him, you see. Unless you're a millionaire rapper who makes a music video where you dress up in a vaguely Evel Knievel-ish outfit and do stunts, in which case Evel Knievel will probably just try to sue you instead, like he did with Kanye West - the only millionaire rapper so far to dress up like Evel Knievel and do stunts for a music video. Luckily, though, Kanye West has managed to see off Knievel's legal challenge against him with the aid of an undisclosed legal settlement and the world's most awkward impromptu photo session.

Since the Red Hot Chili Peppers are probably the world's most overrated band, and Showtime's Californication is probably the world's most overrated TV show, you'd think the two would be happy bedfellows.

But that's not the case, no siree. The Red Hot Chili Peppers hate the David Duchovny show Californication because it shares its name with one of their singles and albums, although we forget which one. And so furious are the Red Hot Chili Peppers over the apparent theft of the Californication title that they're suing Showtime for it. That's bad news for Showtime, but we can understand why the Red Hot Chili Peppers did it - after all, if TV shows start stealing their names then it ultimately weakens their brand of drearily insipid identikit bass-solo loving white rich-boy MOR funk-rock that only people's dads really like if they're honest.