Articles tagged with: celebrity lawsuit
That's it, we're giving up this stupid blogging lark to become nannies at Rob Lowe's house - it sounds brilliant there. Why? Because a new chapter has been opened in the supremely entertaining he said/ she said lawsuits between Rob Lowe and his former nannies. Now a second former nanny has sued the Lowes, but funnily enough Rob Lowe's name doesn't really come up. Instead it's Rob Lowe's wife Sheryl Lowe who's been hit with the brunt of accusations, and they're ones you'll want to read. Assuming, that is, you like hearing about a sexually-curious naked woman describing the size of her childrens' penises and showing Rob Lowe's cockrings to whoever happens to be passing. You do like that, don't you?
As if yesterday's thrilling installment of That Court Case Where JK Rowling Gets Upset Because Someone Else Wrote A Harry Potter Book wasn't enthralling enough, there's more. That's because yesterday JK Rowling made it into court to speak about her outrage that a third-party Harry Potter reference book, The Lexicon Of Harry Potter, was being published without her say-so. "We all know I've made enough money. hat's absolutely not why I'm here," JK Rowling told the courtroom. And that sounds fair - quite often the mega-wealthy lose the thrill of making money and replace it with a new interest.
As if the business of Rob Lowe suing three former employees for extortion wasn't complicated enough, now there's a doozy of a countersuit. And we mean, it's a doozy. Rob Lowe's 24-year-old former nanny Jessica Gibson has hit back at Lowe with a lawsuit of her own that claims Rob Lowe alledgedly kept exposing himself to her, tried repeatedly to shove his hands down her knickers and grabbed her buttocks in all kinds of different ways. This quarrel between Rob Lowe and his nanny is turning into an expensive game of he said/she said that'll leave no reputations intact whatsoever. Having said that, though, perhaps it's all a mix-up - perhaps Rob Lowe was only grabbing Jessica Gibson's buttocks so he could see how dreamy it made his forearms look. That'd certainly make more sense.
JK Rowling knows everything there is to know about Harry Potter - her brain is literally a soggy, pulsating Harry Potter encyclopedia. And JK Rowling wants to pass on her unbeatable knowledge of Harry Potter to the fans by cutting the top of her skull off, smooshing her brain into a billion tiny globs and selling them on to Harry Potter fans for a million pounds each. Or she wants to write a Harry Potter encyclopedia and sell that instead. We forget which. Anyway, a new third party Harry Potter encyclopedia that's coming out soon has got JK Rowling worried - not only will it scupper sales of the official JK Rowling-written encyclopedia, but it'll also be an inferior product. Anyway, JK Rowling's great big lawsuit has begun. And it's either really exciting or quite dull. We forget which.
A lawsuit filed in Los Angeles yesterday by an unidentified freelance reporter from People magazine claims Heath Ledger was plied with cocaine and secretly filmed by a pair of undercover paparazzi. It is claimed photographers Eric Munn and Darren Banks, back in January 2006, tricked Heath into thinking they were guests at the Chateau Marmont Hotel. Once they’d gained his trust, the three men went into the room of an unnamed People magazine reporter, where Eric gave Heath a ‘packet’ of cocaine. Now you, dear hecklerspray reader, are no doubt like us, your dear hecklerspray team, in as much as you wouldn’t know a packet of cocaine if it was shoved up your arse by some dishevelled local upon a family outing to Botoga.
If The Empire Strikes Back had culminated with Luke Skywalker suing in a court of law to get his hand back, then that movie would have been more of a legal drama than a sci-fi fantasy. That's just something we've been thinking about. The jury could have been made up of those blue guys that play the flute and maybe a cute banana with eyeballs that roll back in his head when he’s hungry or scared. Now picture that banana on a lunch pale. Money. That's money right there. We’re 90% sure that’s going to be the premise for the upcoming live action Star Wars TV series. Luke finally gets his hand back in the second season and from then on he stores it safely in a split-open tauntaun. We just ruined the season-one cliff-hanger finale for you. A thousand apologies. A cliff-hanger we won’t ruin for you is that George Lucas is currently suing some guy for making Storm-trooper armour and selling it without permission – and that guy ends up being George’s father. Sorry. 1,000 apologies.
Woody Allen hasn't endorsed any product since the Acme Adopted Stepdaughter That You're Allowed To Sleep With in 1992.
But you wouldn't know it to drive around America gawking out of your car window instead of concentrating on the road ahead of you. Because if you've been doing that, the moments directly before your gruesome death were probably spent looking at billboards of Woody Allen appearing to endorse American Apparel.
However, Woody Allen hasn't been endorsing American Apparel at all, which is why he's launched a $10 million lawsuit against the company. And he has every right to, because the billboards don't accurately representing him as an artist. No, they'd need to be 500% shitter and have Ewan McGregor in them to do that.
If you heard a Smashing Pumpkins song advertising a delicious bottle of refreshing Pepsi, what would you do?
Chances are you'd either a) go and buy a thirst-quenching bottle of deliciously refreshing Pepsi right away or b) kick the television over, stamp on it and then slash your belly because you drank some Pepsi once six years ago and you don't want to be seen to be endorsing the Smashing Pumpkins in even the slightest way.
But not if you're Billy Corgan, lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins. If you're Billy Corgan and you hear a Smashing Pumpkins song advertising Pepsi, you sue your old record label and then get all stroppy and self-important and bitch about everything for the millionth time of your life.
