During January of this year, digital station E4 ran Big Brother spin-off Hijack for three and a half pitiful weeks that felt longer to endure than a spectacularly constipated shit. Essentially it was no more than a rehash of their regular Big Brother show with some minor-list celebrities 'pulling the contestants' strings' – i.e. making them act silly and squeal a lot.

While press and public responded to this fiasco by turning off their television sets and beating the next-door neighbour's cat to get their anger out, E4 owners Channel 4 still insists the show was a rousing success.

So confident is Channel 4 that fidgety host Dermot O'Leary was wheeled out of his church to pass along the good word. He may have been sniffing the communion wine at the time though, because this is what he said:

"I didn't feel like it deserved the flack from the press that it got this year. It really pissed me off how it was compared to when the series was on Channel 4. That's like comparing a corner shop to a Sainsbury's. It just wasn't fair."

Indeed, if Big Brother Celebrity Hijack was really comparable to a corner shop it would close at least some point during the day and stop showing us footage of people we wouldn't normally shoot for sport napping.

And as far as comparing the normal Big Brother show to Sainsbury's? Come on, at least money-mad supermarket front man Jamie Oliver can wander down the street and receive a flurry of insults – remembering an ex-housemate is more difficult than staying sober on your birthday.

Apparently aware of his unenviable position at being Hijack's only supporter, Dermot went into retraction mode and spluttered the following:

"I don't know if there should be another one (Hijack), maybe not. Maybe. We shall wait and see."

E4 is currently broadcasting Big Brother USA with such gusto anyone would think it was the last season of Lost. So far the show has bequeathed the most grotesquely loud oral action on the small screen since Jade Goody brushed her teeth with a bald man's todger.

Surely on this summer's Big Brother UK we can push the boat further? Literally push them all out on a boat and sink it somewhere in the Adriatic. Dermot can go live from the deck.

As a wonderful footnote, Big Brother queen Davina McCall has distanced herself so far from the Hijack spin-off she currently resides in an underground bunker giving interviews via Pot Noodle phone.

When asked about the ailing success of the programme, her empathic response incorporated the phrases:

"nothing to do with" and "no responsibility for it."

After fronting the only chat show where the bored studio audience babbled more enthusiastically than the guests, Davina would be wise to hide behind a collective of psychologically unstable losers that want fame more badly than oxygen.

"We'll be back with Big Brother this year. Big Brother's not finished yet."

Just like that, then.

Read More:

O'Leary hits back at 'Hijack' criticism – Digital Spy

The X-rated video everyone’s talking about in America… – Heat World

But forget that silly old tramp, because Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is almost over and the house is still over-run with self-satisfied twerps. So that’s why the housemates all nominated again, right after Latoya left, into each others’ faces. And everyone is up for Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction apart from Anthony and John. And two are going tomorrow. If you want those betting odds you can have them tomorrow.

So meanwhile here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win – for John, Amy and Anthony – with help from Paddy Power…

John – Make no mistake, John’s only in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds top three because of the opening night shenanigans where he won a free pass to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack finals. If that hadn’t have happened, John would be floating around the middle at best because, lordy, is John ever a mardy twit. It doesn’t take much to send John into a spiral of self-pitying naval-gazing (and a naval that size takes a lot of gazing) or, worse, a high-minded lecture full of such overserious advice that we’re surprised that nobody’s smacked him in the mouth for being a condescending git yet. Right now there’s honestly no way that we can see John winning Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. No way at all. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 6/1

Amy – Amy’s come out of nowhere to become Anthony’s only real challenger for the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack crown. She’s probably the most intelligent of the housemates, but not to such an extent that you want to cause her physical harm. Just about all the boys in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house have a tiny crush on Amy, but she’s so steadfastly loyal to her boyfriend that she doesn’t appear to be ready to do anything about it. And she withstood a military interrogation without being all vegetablised like Jack Bauer’s girlfriend from the last series of 24. Whadda gal! If her top lip didn’t hook up in such an offputting way, Amy would almost be perfect. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 3/1

Anthony – Anthony is the scientific opposite of Amy, mind you, and he’s so far ahead of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack pack that he could probably stomp on a kitten and still come out the winner. And we think we have a theory why this is – where all the other housemates’ talent seems to rely on their brains one way or another, Anthony’s only talent relies on punching other men until they fall over. And because Anthony can’t demonstrate this talent in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house – although we wish he had while Victor was still a housemate – he’s become the lovely everyman counterpoint to everything else. Or something. Look, all you need to know is that Anthony is going to win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack and there’s nothing you can do about it. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 4/6

Tomorrow: God knows, something or other. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

So that’s why there’s going to be a Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction tonight. Sworn enemies Latoya and Emilia are currently engaged in a public fight to the death, and the results will be discovered later tonight. Of course, by ‘fight to the death’ we mean ‘eviction battle’ and by ’sworn enemies’ we mean ’slightly ambivalent acquaintances.’ But be quiet. Eviction! Woo!

So here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for tonight’s eviction – for Emilia and Latoya – with help from Paddy Power…

Emilia – It’s good to see that Emilia is managing to maintain her role as Big Brother’s professional victim by whining that Latoya’s improvised fight last week brought out an angry side of Victor that nobody had ever seen before. Which, you know, would have been a noble thing to do were it not for the fact that everyone who’s even watched one episode of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack saw nothing but Victor’s angry side. And the public’s residual dislike of Victor might just mean that Emilia gets voted out of the house tonight. Or at least it would if Emilia couldn’t put her arse on her head. But she can, and we could forgive her almost anything for that. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 9/4

Latoya – Latoya, on the other hand, isn’t as instantly dislikeable as Emilia, but then again she isn’t likeable either. Or, you know, anything – Latoya may as well be a cloud of fart vapour for all she brings to Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. One weirdly realistic fake crying tantrum and that’s it, that’s all she’s done. The flirtation with Nathan came to nothing, the friendship with Jay petered out, she’s never especially fast to do anything – in fact, we’re not even sure we’d notice if Latoya was evicted tonight. Except that Emilia wouldn’t have anyone to bitch about, even though she’ll have probably found another target by the time Latoya’s halfway up the stairs on her way out. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 2/7

Tomorrow: more Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

On Sunday the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates nominated yet again, and yesterday the two housemates with the most votes were names as Latoya and Emilia. And the evicted housemate won’t be getting a big Friday night eviction like everyone else – no, they’ll be shunted out of the house on a Wednesday in front of a televised audience of, ooh, about three. We’ll be getting to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction odds soon enough.

But for now let’s carry on our look at the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win, for Nathan, Emilia and Jeremy, with help from Paddy Power…

Nathan – A long long time ago when Big Brother Celebrity Hijack started (yes, we know it was just a couple of weeks ago, but by bloody Christ, does it feel like longer), Nathan looked like the fun-loving chap who’d inject a bit of life into the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. But that was an assumption so wrong it should be punishable by a damn good birching. Nathan has revealed himself to be – in no particular order – ultra-serious, unable to join in any discussions in case it alienates his meagre fanbase, slightly bitter that he isn’t more famous than he is and such a freakish horndog that he darn-near melted our TV with his lechery. And, you, know, we’ve already got one Craig David for that. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 16/1

Emilia – It’s become increasingly clear over the last week that Emilia is something of a professional victim, and the only time she ever shows a trace of personality is whenever she’s got someone bitching at her. And now that Victor’s not in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house any more, Emilia’s main source of antagonism has disappeared. So chances are Emilia is either going to flourish now that she doesn’t have an emotionally-deformed rollerskater telling her that she’s a whore or she’ll find another way to act the victim. Chances are by Thursday Emilia will burst into tears because Jeremy’s keeping her down by stroking her hair sometimes. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 12/1

Jeremy – Jeremy is another Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemate who’ll suffer without Victor around. Not in the same way as Emilia, though – Jeremy had forged something of a homoerotic relationship with Victor that mainly consisted of swapping sex stories and talking sexist rubbish in pretend European accents. And now that he’s been forcibly removed from Victor, there’s a chance that Jeremy will become a bit of a Big Brother Celebrity Hijack loner. In short, Jeremy is the new Liam, and we await the day he starts meowing at himself in the bathroom with more anticipation than you could possibly imagine. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 10/1

Tomorrow – Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for the big eviction. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Answer: We’re about to find out now that Victor and Liam have been evicted from the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. In a single stroke on Friday, two of the most befuddlingly watchable housemates were wiped out – one because he clearly hated women so much that he made Arthur Schopenhauer look like a cuddly feminist and the other because he fucking meows to himself. How will the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house cope without Victor and Liam? Oh, don’t pretend that you care.

Nominations got done yesterday, and we’ll let you know about those later in the week, but for now, who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Calista, Latoya and Jay, with help from Paddy Power…

Calista – Calista and Anthony have been the big ‘will they, won’t they?’ hit of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack so far. The ‘will they, won’t they’ in question of course referring to whether or not their constant dopey-eyed flirting will cause Calista’s boyfriend to dump her in a lurid tabloid kiss-and-tell story.

It probably won’t happen for three reasons. They are:

1) As far as we’ve been able to tell, Calista’s relationship with Anthony seems to mainly involve keeping him at arm’s length while he yammers on about his feelings.

2) Judging by these Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds, Calista will be evicted soon enough.

3) No fucker watches Big Brother Celebrity Hijack and therefore nobody gives a toss about Calista’s boyfriend anyway. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 50/1

Latoya – So it looks like Latoya isn’t completely pointless after all, because last week she managed to wind Victor up almost to the point of violence. Actually, come to think of it, you could probably show Victor a photograph of a pigeon and he’d be wound up almost to the point of violence – but if we let that slip then we’d have one less interesting fact about Latoya to tell you.

And since that’s the only pissing interesting fact about Latoya in the first place, we’ll protect it with our lives. And, yes, this is basically a long-winded way of telling you that Latoya is one boring shithead and her eviction from the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house can’t come soon enough. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 40/1

Jay – Similarly, Jay’s Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds have fallen exponentially as well, and that might have had something to do with last week’s toe-curling ‘I know, let’s be really crazy and improv a fight!’ moment that he was a part of.

Not only was the whole thing the sort of attention-seeking, deliberately inflammatory codswallop that causes people to hate students in the first place, but who uses the word ‘improv’ anyway?

People who deserve to have their teeth knocked out by concrete seagulls, that’s who, and we now include Jay in that. Improv. Bloody improv. Get out of our Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house, you massive twat. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 40/1

Tomorrow – Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, Emila and Jeremy. Probably. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

So let’s hear it for tonight’s Big Brother Celebrity Hijack when not one but two of the whiny buggers are going to be chucked out and get instantly demoted from ‘on telly’ to ‘talented youngster.’ But which two? Jeremy, Emilia, Victor and Liam all face the chop, but we’ve got all the eviction information you need right here. Well, not here. After the jump. Shut up.

So here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Victor and Liam, with help from Paddy Power…

Victor – Victor has probably been the major focal point of the whole Big Brother Celebrity Hijack series so far, with a constant debate on whether he’s a woman-hating bully or a culturally-misunderstood victim raging between the three or four people who actually watch Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. But let’s look at the facts – nobody in the Big Brother house particularly cares for Victor, the eviction crowd made their hatred for him pretty clear on Friday and we’re also sick to death of him, frankly. Victor is on borrowed time in the house, but we suspect that he’ll be let off the hook again this week because, well, because he’s not Liam. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds –

Victor & Emilia – 10/1

Victor & Jeremy – 5/1

Victor & Liam – 2/5

Liam – Now, sadly Liam is Liam, and so let’s just assume that the wet-mouthed little weirdo is getting evicted Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house tonight. But, you know what, this week Liam did two things that have propelled him into the ranks of the all-time Big Brother greats for us. Firstly there was the moment when Liam, oblivious to everything around him, paced around the garden singing Lady In Red with as much passion as he could muster. And then Brian Sewell told him that everyone at home had seen him wanking. Surely – surely – if we keep Liam in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house until the end, he’ll pull even more demented weirdness out of the bag. So here’s where we start our probably-shortlived ‘Keep Liam In But Don’t Let Him Win’ campaign. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds –

Liam & Emilia – 12/1

Liam & Jeremy – 8/1

Liam & Victor – 2/1

Next week – Guess what? More Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Come Friday, one of those poor kids will be out of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. But who? Bendy girl? Her idiot brother? The monotone racing driver? Liam? Liam, obviously, but we’ll come to that tomorrow.

But who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, John and Anthony, with help from Paddy Power…

Nathan – Well that’s us told; we’ve been reliably informed that Nathan doesn’t say “bup bup bup” when he’s excited – it’s actually “brap brap brap.” We take it all back – obviously “bup bup bup” would just be ridiculous. Anyway, Nathan’s positioning himself as an early Big Brother Celebrity Hijack favourite with his friendly manner and his stillborn romance with Latoya and flirtation with Amy and stuff, but he’s going to need to be careful if he wants to maintain his position. This is because Nathan is slightly bitter that his American strand of R&B has been decimated by grime in recent years and he’s been forced to go on a tawdry reality TV show to boost his profile. And the more he gripes, the more he starts to sound like Les McQueen from The League Of Gentlemen. And that can’t be a good thing, surely. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 7/2

John – Well, who’d have thought it? Ginger, massively overweight Scottish boy John is a tiny bit sensitive. When Paul Garner from The 11 O’Clock Show burst into the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house on Russell Brand’s orders last week, poor John seemed to think that whole thing was an elaborate set-up to make him look like a fool and sulked for about three days solid. Now, it’s true that John can coast a little because he’s through to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack final, but actively trying to alienate the viewers by acting like a toddler with a broken rattle won’t help his cause any. And nor will singing Smooth Operator by Sade because he did that to the other day and christ was it terrible. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 10/3

Anthony – Already it’s looking like Anthony will be the clear winner of this year’s Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, because he’s got something for everyone. The girls love him because he’s a handsome chap, the boys root for him because he punches people for a living (something that all men would secretly like to do), the old folks love him because he’s always very polite to the celebrity hijackers and the kids love him because the side of his head looks like one of those maze games you get in children’s activity books. Plus the government intelligent forces love him because he’s really shit at being interrogated. Honestly, compared to, say, Liam, how could Anthony not win? Having said that, Fred West would probably the favourite compared to Liam. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 2/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

And the real point of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is that celebrity hijackers can do naughty things to the housemates. Evil, huh? No, not once you’ve realised that even when playing Big Brother, most famous people are too scared of destroying their reputations to be genuinely nasty. In fact, the extent of the celebrities’ evilness has probably been Matt Lucas getting a fat boy to shout about cake, which is hardly going to put him on the CIA Most Wanted list, is it? We want real evil from the hijackers, and if that starts with Kelly Osbourne starving Liam to death then so be it.

Who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Victor, Amy and Calista with help from Paddy Power…

Victor – Victor is, of course, Big Brother Celebrity Hijack’s resident one-armed handstander. One-armed handstanding is a profession that’s literally killed every other member of his family, and that means it’s almost certain that it’ll kill Victor too, unless he’s strangled by his own superhuman sleaziness beforehand. Within seconds of entering the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house Victor started trying to seduce everyone around him in a particularly awful way. And he might even succeed at some point, too – but only once he’s managed to convince everyone that there’s more to him than a six-pack, a pair of wandering hands and as voice like a squeaky German leprechaun. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 18/1

Amy – For the majority of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, Amy has been the most normal housemate by a mile. She’s quiet, slightly intelligent, not prone to bragging about how brilliant she is for hours at a time and isn’t on a national television show just because her spine bends in 13 different directions. However, that doesn’t stop her from being duller than dust. Seriously, when the most interesting thing you can tell people about yourself is that you sometimes clean up small squares of things, there’s not much chance that you’ll ever convince the public to vote for you. For anything, let alone a barely-watched digital reality TV show. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 16/1

Calista - On all the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack press stuff it says that Calista’s special talent is classical music, although that’s clearly a lie. In fact, Calista’s special skill is doing nothing but talk about herself really loudly again and again and again and again over and over until it makes people want to smack her head off with the back of a shovel. Calista can play the piano as well, and seems to use it to write lots of songs about sex that aren’t nearly as dirty as she thinks, but really that’s just secondary to the talking thing. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 16/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Jeremy, Latoya and Emilia. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

For starters you can’t call it Celebrity Big Brother any more – you have to call it Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. Second of all, it’s all on E4 rather than Channel 4 itself – which is frankly an outrage because if Big Brother’s on E4, where are the 15 solid daily hours of Friends repeats going to go? And thirdly there aren’t any celebrities in the Big Brother house – for the next month the celebrities are Big Brother and the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates are ’specially talented’ normal goons who seem to think that spending a month in a box being shouted at by Ian Wright will improve their lives somehow. Fools.

The housemates all entered the Big Brother house last night and one of the fuckers has got to win, so here are the early Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds, with help from Paddy Power…

Latoya Satnarine (Special skill: dancing around in front of Mariah Carey) Literally the only thing Latoya ever talks about is dance. Dance dance dance dance dance and nothing else. Also, at one point in her Big Brother Celebrity Hijack VT she called herself a ‘product’. So basically she’s a bit of a turd. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 16/1

Calista Robertson (Special skill: violins and stuff) Musician who’s self-absorbed to the point of dementia. Calista can write any type of song, you know, from grime to classical to really shit dance songs about bongos. And she may have used her piano as a big dildo once, but perhaps we imagined that bit. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 14/1

Jay Wilson (Special skill: drawing pictures of some clothes) Call this a hunch, but Jay might be the tiniest bit gay. We can’t quite put our finger on why. Perhaps it’s the painted fingernails, or perhaps it’s the way he repeatedly says “New York fashion week” as if it was a question and as though he was in the middle of some kind of awful stroke. Who knows. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 10/1

Emilia Erata (Special skill: bending her body into arousing shapes on rollerskates) You know when you meet a girl and she says she’s a contortionist and you think it’s sexy and then she tells you that she trains so hard that occasionally she cries blood? That’s Emilia. Her other special skill is terrible grammar, but that hardly counts. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 9/1

Liam Young (Special skill: selling bits of the internet to people) Liam is a wet-mouthed entrepreneur with giant hair, tiny eyes and a slightly disconcerting speech impediment. Plus he looks like he’s about four. Liam will rule the world one day, so we’re getting the cheap shots in while we can. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 9/1

Amy Jackson (Special skill: art or something) That’s conceptual art to you. What Amy basically does is go around cleaning squares of stuff all the time and calls it art. You know, a bit like the woman who cleans your office, only she doesn’t wake up at 4am to do it to stop her children starving to death. She does it for art. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 9/1

Anthony Ogogo (Special skill: beating people up) Anthony is a boxer who’s represented England at boxing. He claims he’s not arrogant, but he appears to spend up to 85% of his daily life kissing himself on the biceps. Anthony also uses the word ‘numerous’ a lot, which would be unremarkable were it not for the fact that he’s never even got close to pronouncing it properly. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 7/1

Nathan Fagan-Gayle (Special skill: going “Ooooh oooh wooahooa woah!”) Nathan is on Big Brother Celebrity Hijack because he’s been nominated for a MOBO and has supported Missy Elliott. His song was also the most requested on Choice FM for nine weeks running, which must please Choice FM’s six listeners an awful lot. And he wears sparkly hats, too! Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 7/1

Jade Eden (Special skill: looking quite pretty) “So what?” you’re thinking, “Loads of Big Brother housemates are quite pretty. What’s special about this one?” And the answer is that – uniquely – she’s a beauty queen who isn’t as dumb as a box of shit. Jade has an IQ of 178, although on last night’s proof that’s a figure that’s probably missing a decimal point or two. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 7/1

Jeremy Metcalfe (Special skill: driving a car) One of the biggest requirements of being a racing driver is that you have to be a cunt, and Jeremy ticks that box in spades. He overuses the word ‘insane’. He has slightly overactive eyebrows. Everyone booed him on his way into the Big Brother house. He didn’t look surprised. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 13/2

Victor Erata (Special skill: bending his body into arousing shapes on rollerskates but he’s a bloke so urgh) Brother of the other contortionist girl, Victor has an alarming amount of self-confidence for an uninsurable Brummie who spins around for a living  and talks with a high-pitched German accent. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 6/1

John Loughton (Special skill: his magical ginger hair) No, not really – John’s skill is his political prowess, none of which anyone got to see on last night’s Big Brother Celebrity Hijack because Matt Lucas kept barking bewildering instructions at him through an earpiece like it was a weird episode of 24 that involved shouting the word ‘cake’ instead of trying to stop the assassination of a presidential candidate. But John’s already through to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack final, so he’s a contender alright. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 6/1

Next week – oh, who are we kidding? You’re getting these Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds every day until the end of the month. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.