Celebrity Hijack - HecklerSpray

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack ‘A Corner Shop’ Proclaims Confused O’Leary

March 31st, 2009 By Chris Laverty

Every man and his dog knows that Big Brother Celebrity Hijack was a big stinking tub of old porridge. Every man, it seems, except its host Dermot O'Leary – he thinks the whole thing was great. Though he doesn't want to make another one.

During January of this year, digital station E4 ran Big Brother spin-off Hijack for three and a half pitiful weeks that felt longer to endure than a spectacularly constipated shit. Essentially it was no more than a rehash of their regular Big Brother show with some minor-list celebrities 'pulling the contestants' strings' – i.e. making them act silly and squeal a lot.

While press and public responded to this fiasco by turning off their television sets and beating the next-door neighbour's cat to get their anger out, E4 owners Channel 4 still insists the show was a rousing success.

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack: Latoya Out, Almost Everyone Else Up

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Last night the time came to dispose of yet another Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemate – and it was poor old Latoya who bit the dust.

But forget that silly old tramp, because Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is almost over and the house is still over-run with self-satisfied twerps. So that’s why the housemates all nominated again, right after Latoya left, into each others’ faces. And everyone is up for Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction apart from Anthony and John. And two are going tomorrow. If you want those betting odds you can have them tomorrow.

So meanwhile here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win – for John, Amy and Anthony – with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Latoya Out Tonight?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is thundering towards the finishing line, but there are still billions of the little bleeders still in the house.

So that’s why there’s going to be a Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction tonight. Sworn enemies Latoya and Emilia are currently engaged in a public fight to the death, and the results will be discovered later tonight. Of course, by ‘fight to the death’ we mean ‘eviction battle’ and by ‘sworn enemies’ we mean ‘slightly ambivalent acquaintances.’ But be quiet. Eviction! Woo!

So here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for tonight’s eviction – for Emilia and Latoya – with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Latoya & Emilia Up

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Now that Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is getting the hang of evictions, it’s decided to sling out housemates faster than ever before – which is bad news for Latoya and Emilia.

On Sunday the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates nominated yet again, and yesterday the two housemates with the most votes were names as Latoya and Emilia. And the evicted housemate won’t be getting a big Friday night eviction like everyone else – no, they’ll be shunted out of the house on a Wednesday in front of a televised audience of, ooh, about three. We’ll be getting to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction odds soon enough.

But for now let’s carry on our look at the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win, for Nathan, Emilia and Jeremy, with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Liam & Victor Are Goners

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Question: What’s a Big Brother house without a borderline-deranged angry misogynist and a floppy-haired twonk who meows to himself?

Answer: We’re about to find out now that Victor and Liam have been evicted from the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. In a single stroke on Friday, two of the most befuddlingly watchable housemates were wiped out – one because he clearly hated women so much that he made Arthur Schopenhauer look like a cuddly feminist and the other because he fucking meows to himself. How will the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house cope without Victor and Liam? Oh, don’t pretend that you care.

Nominations got done yesterday, and we’ll let you know about those later in the week, but for now, who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Calista, Latoya and Jay, with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Liam & Victor Out Tonight?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is over halfway through and only one housemate has been evicted so far – that clearly won’t do.

So let’s hear it for tonight’s Big Brother Celebrity Hijack when not one but two of the whiny buggers are going to be chucked out and get instantly demoted from ‘on telly’ to ‘talented youngster.’ But which two? Jeremy, Emilia, Victor and Liam all face the chop, but we’ve got all the eviction information you need right here. Well, not here. After the jump. Shut up.

So here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Victor and Liam, with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: 4 Up, Anthony To Win?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack has just lined up another four schmucks for eviction – Victor, Jeremy, Emilia and Liam.

Come Friday, one of those poor kids will be out of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. But who? Bendy girl? Her idiot brother? The monotone racing driver? Liam? Liam, obviously, but we’ll come to that tomorrow.

But who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, John and Anthony, with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Calista To Win?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

So far it’s painfully clear that the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates are an absurdly irritating group of overconfident bastards, but that’s missing the real point of the show, isn’t it?

And the real point of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is that celebrity hijackers can do naughty things to the housemates. Evil, huh? No, not once you’ve realised that even when playing Big Brother, most famous people are too scared of destroying their reputations to be genuinely nasty. In fact, the extent of the celebrities’ evilness has probably been Matt Lucas getting a fat boy to shout about cake, which is hardly going to put him on the CIA Most Wanted list, is it? We want real evil from the hijackers, and if that starts with Kelly Osbourne starving Liam to death then so be it.

Who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Victor, Amy and Calista with help from Paddy Power…

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Who Are These Fools?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Have you heard the news? Celebrity Big Brother‘s back on the air, only this time Channel 4 is so scared of starting another full-scale international race war that it’s had to make some changes.

For starters you can’t call it Celebrity Big Brother any more – you have to call it Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. Second of all, it’s all on E4 rather than Channel 4 itself – which is frankly an outrage because if Big Brother‘s on E4, where are the 15 solid daily hours of Friends repeats going to go? And thirdly there aren’t any celebrities in the Big Brother house – for the next month the celebrities are Big Brother and the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates are ‘specially talented’ normal goons who seem to think that spending a month in a box being shouted at by Ian Wright will improve their lives somehow. Fools.

The housemates all entered the Big Brother house last night and one of the fuckers has got to win, so here are the early Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds, with help from Paddy Power…