Here it is, folks – a fully-fledged institution as inevitable as a rancid fart after a Happy Meal. The Celebrity Haiku Competition.
Usual prize up for grabs: two whole packets of delicious Space Raiders crisps. The best intergalactic-themed corner shop snack in existence? Damn right. And you could be in with a chance of munching down on 'em within, oohh, a week or so. Possibly.
This week we're looking at pompous fashion-fascists Trinny And Susannah. But – before we kick off our festivities – let's just see who claimed victory last week…
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Fact: most revivals are bad.
Star Wars. The Happy Mondays. Chris Evans' career. In fact, take a look at any attempt to bring back a cultural milestone and you'll notice that the end result is invariably cack-based.
One thing that has long been overdue a resurgence, however, is hecklerspray's Celebrity Haiku Competition. Okay, okay, so maybe we're confusing 'cultural milestone' with 'something to do if you've got a spare five minutes to tit around on a Monday', but that's just semantics.
'Hold on a second,' some of you may be screaming. 'I'm relatively new to hecklerspray. What is this Celebrity Haiku Competition of which you speak? Tell me! Dear Christ, tell me, or else mother won't get her food parcel thrown down into the basement today.'
Calm yourselves. Details after the jump…
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Fact: most revivals are bad.
Star Wars. The Happy Mondays. Chris Evan's career. In fact, take a look at any attempt to bring back a cultural milestone and you'll notice that the end result is invariably cack-based.
One thing that has long been overdue a resurgence, however, is hecklerspray's Celebrity Haiku Competition. Okay, okay, so maybe we're confusing 'cultural milestone' with 'something to do if you've got a spare five minutes to tit around on a Monday', but that's just semantics.
'Hold on a second,' some of you may be screaming. 'I'm relatively new to hecklerspray. What is this Celebrity Haiku Competition of which you speak? Tell me! Dear Christ, tell me, or else mother won't get her food parcel thrown down into the basement today.'
Calm yourselves. Details after the jump...
More... Basically, right, Celebrity Haiku Competition (or CHC, as all the cool kids call it, or will assuredly do so one day) does exactly what it says on the tin. Each week we take a topical celebrity story and ask you, dear readers, to compose your very own haiku about it. The winner receives a very special prize.
Two whole packets of Space Raiders crisps.
So, then: if you want to be in with the chance to win a double-set of the finest alien-based budget snacks on the market, simply get your poetry-scribblin' glands on standby and compose an ode to this week's story:
Beehive-haired warbler Amy Winehouse has been dropped as the vocalist for the new James Bond film theme song.
All you have to do is remember the golden rule of haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. An example - based on this week's topic - would look a little something like this:
Girl who sang 'rehab'
finds herself cast off from new
double-oh seven
Yeah, yeah - that was rubbish. We know. And that's why we're giving you the chance to do, like, six million times better. Entries in the comments box below, if you please...
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Bond Producers Drop Winehouse - Contactmusic
