Articles tagged with: celebrity divorces
Pamela Anderson has made some mistakes in her life. She got that Barb Wire tattoo before she knew there wasn’t a franchise a’ brewin’, she quit Home Improvement before Tim Allen could secure her a role in either of those Toy Story movies. Perhaps most importantly, she didn’t sleep with a drunken David Hasselhoff even after he told her she’d never work in this town again.
That last bit is purely assumption on our part of course – but it’s a safe assumption. After all, eventually everyone sleeps with the Hoff. We did at our website launch party, and we’re not that ashamed. A Boys II Men best-of album filled the air as us and the Hoff waxed romantical in that dark, very dark janitor’s closet - but darkness such as that has never stopped sweet memories. Let us tell you - that man is built like a mop & bucket.But back to Pam’s mistakes – her most recent, apparently, is that she got married again. She’s reconciling all this by filing for divorce, and then maybe sending her most recent husband straight to hell! Perhaps.
‘From suffering comes creativity’, so goes the old adage, and when applying it to Sir Paul McCartney’s career, it shows us that he hasn’t experienced an ounce of suffering in three decades.
Like us, you were probably hoping that McCartney's bitter, painful, hilarious divorce may have depressed him back to former glories, but Macca has declared that this is definitely not the case.
You'd have thought that anyone divorcing Hulk Hogan would be happy to leave the relationship with nothing more than a handful of blissful, weirdly aggressive, borderline xenophobic memories to their name.
But that's not the case at all, as Hulk Hogan is quickly discovering for himself. Just days after Linda Bollea, Hulk Hogan's wife of 24 years, surprised the Hulkster by divorcing him, it's been announced that she's after everything that Hulk Hogan's got - namely half of his $9.5 million assets plus alimony, child support fees and health insurance for their son. But Hulk Hogan and Linda Bollea are both adults and we're sure they'll reach a sensible, amicable agreement over the course of time - either that or Hulk Hogan is going to walk around in circles puffing out his cheeks, waving an American flag about and ripping his shirt to pieces, which admittedly does seem to be his answer to bloody everything.
Hulk Hogan's wife must be an idiot to want to divorce him - she'll never find another old, bald, long-haired, moustachioed, blindly patriotic, sausage-armed, shirt-tearing, pretend-deaf hunk of man as good as the Hulkster as long as she lives.
But that's just the risk that Linda Marie Bollea is taking, because after 24 happy years of marriage, she getting divorced from Hulk Hogan. Not that she told Hulk Hogan this, of course - that was down to a journalist who'd heard about the divorce and phoned up Hogan to get his opinion, only to discover it was the first he'd heard about it. But now that there's been time to let the news of his divorce sink in, let's hope that Hulk Hogan can see the positives in the matter - after all, without a wife around, Hulk Hogan will have much more time to indulge in his hobbies of pumping iron accompanied by widdly-woo 1980s stadium rock and headbutting the flags of various non-American nations.
Thanks to Ellen DeGeneres, full-scale wild-eyed boogaloo angry sobbing televised breakdowns are all the go, and that's why nobody really doubted that Heather Mills would try her hand at one before long.
But nobody could have expected that Heather Mills' red-faced tantrum would have been so berserk. However, on GMTV this morning Heather Mills had one of the most spectacular televised breakdowns in all of history than included Heather Mills screaming comparisons between herself, Princess Diana and Kate McCann, conducting direct-to-camera threats to all journalists everywhere, claiming that people are trying to kill her, claiming that she wants to kill herself and demanding that the European courts immediately change the laws so that newspapers are only allowed to say what a wonderful person Heather Mills is.
It's a cracker, promise.
