Articles tagged with: celebrity breasts
Miley Cyrus rocked the stage last night at the Disney Channel Games Concert, sporting another piece of pornographic attire. As she thanked fans for their support, singing some old hits and some new, she strutted about the stage in skin-tight, virginal-white jeans and top to match, which left very little to the imagination. The outfit made a clear definition of the shape of her breasts and bottom. One source who attended the gig told hecklerspray: It was disgusting. I was standing there, wanting to have an innocent boogie to some of the finest pop-music this millennium has had to offer when, all of a sudden, 15-year-old Miley appears, looking beautiful and slightly sexually arousing, and now I feel like a paedophile. This has got to stop. This would never have happened if Al-Qaeda were in control; either get the girl a hijab and let me boogie in unaroused peace, or burn her.
Miley Cyrus has managed to get through a photo shoot without flashing her jail-bait back to anyone. Thank God for that. We can once again look at Miley Cyrus without feeling like the spirit of Josef Fritzl has entered into our souls. Now all we need do is wait a few months until her sixteenth birthday and, abracadabra, we can gawp at her naked tweeny flesh without society judging us as perverts. God bless the American legal-system and its confused morals!
Katie Price, who’s that? The short answer is the fake-tanned slapper who’s famous for getting her tits out.
However, there is another solution to the question. You see, Katie Price has two names. We’d like to point out that she’s not schizophrenic and doesn’t pick between Jordan and Kate Price depending on if its warm enough to strap on a bikini.
In the early days (aka - the nineties) when she had the body for it, Jordon would get her boobies out for men’s magazines across the land. But they weren’t just any set of knockers. They were mega melons! As big as your head and the weight of seven small puppies.
Then Jordan grew up. Married a dire popstar and wanted people to call her by her real name to be taken more seriously. This approach has landed her a film role. And no, it’s not porn related!
Come gather round children, for that most marvellous of phenomena has occurred once more. Britney Spears has got semi-naked in public. Hallelujah! As we all know, there are only two things that perpetuate the spinning of the earth on its axis these days - celebrities and naked girls. They are everywhere, constantly vying for our attention. It’s a daily clash of the titans; one day naked girls will get a unanimous victory, only for celebrities to get their sweet revenge soon after, leaving a bloody pool of tits, ass and ego all over the streets in their wake. The only time peace can be found is when the two of them merge their awesome powers together, creating that all powerful attention-grabbing freak of nature that is: the naked-girl-celebrity.
Scarlett Johansson (the actress - and now singer - famous for having Scarlett Johansson’s boobs on her chest; you know the one?) has blasted two of hecklerspray’s most cherished celebrities! The outrageous harlot has dared to declare that the musical talent of our Paris Hilton and our Lindsay Lohan is not quite her cup of tea. How dare she? Just who does she think she is? Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have a put a lot of good, honest, hard-work into getting where they are today, yet where is the respect? Do you think those cocks suck themselves?
Lindsay Lohan is set to strip off in her upcoming film.
That’s right, according to MTV UK, Lindsay Lohan is going to take all of her clothes off. She is going to get completely naked – can you imagine that??
Of course you can. Everybody can. At just the mention of her name your mind’s eye was no doubt engulfed with images of her inflated bosoms hovering around you.
There's no way of politely putting this, so we'll just go ahead and say it - Dolly Parton's breasts are pure evil.
Alright, maybe pure evil is a bit of an overstatement - it's not like they're responsible for more than maybe five or six global atrocities - but you can't deny that Dolly Parton's breasts are a right old couple of bastards.
Why? Because Dolly Parton's boobs are so big that they've knackered her back and forced her to cancel an entire tour. Where are we supposed to get our fix of ancient, massive-boobed, rootin'-tootin' country and western music now? Keith Urban?
