Angelina Jolie Thuds Out Those Unborn Babies Of Hers Hoist the flags and sound the trumpets - Angelina Jolie has either given birth to twins or farted really, really loudly! Reports are flooding in that Angelina Jolie has given birth to twins in France. However, right now nobody seems to know how unpregnant Angelina Jolie actually is because, while the reports are mostly convincing, it appears that Angelina has given the twin girls vaguely sensible names. And if we know Angelina Jolie, we know that she'd rather stab a baby in the face than give it a name that she hasn't just made up from a random combination of letters on a whim. Anyway - Angelina Jolie! Babies! Birth! Let's go!

Kerry Katona Shits Out Another One Kerry Katona has managed to squeeze out another baby after two days of labour. Two days in labour? That must have hurt. Good. Max Clifford, Katona’s publicist, had these words to say of the joyous occasion:

"Kerry is fine.She had a natural labour after being induced at lunchtime today. Max is great, he’s a little small, but Kerry’s baby Heidi was only 4lbs, 9oz when she was born premature."

Halle Berry Squeezes Out A Baby Girl

At the last count, Halle Berry has been pregnant for somewhere around the 16-year mark or so.

But even confusingly drawn-out celebrity pregnancies have to come to an end at some point, and yesterday Halle Berry gave birth to her first child - a baby girl that hasn't even got a name yet.

Although the birth of her daughter is joyous news for Halle Berry and her immediate family, it's even better news for her neighbours - now that she's had her baby, Halle's obscenely milk-engorged breasts will finally begin to subside, causing less day-to-day structural damage and stopping quite so many people from tripping over her gigantic pregnant nipples.

Jennifer Lopez Finally Gives Birth To Those Twins Of Hers

According to highly scientific calculations, Jennifer Lopez has been pregnant for anywhere between 12 and 15 years.

Or rather Jennifer Lopez was pregnant - last night Jennifer Lopez gave birth to the twin babies - a boy and a girl - that she's been expecting since the summer of 1963.

Not a whole lot is known about Jennifer Lopez's twins yet - it's only been a matter of hours since they were born, after all. However, judging by the size of Jennifer Lopez in the latter stages of her pregnancy, we can safely assume that each twin was the size of a fully-grown overweight nightclub bouncer from Dagenham by the time it shawshanked out of her birth canal.